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  1. #21
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    Amazing, thanks so much Tiny Dancer ! I hear you on the sleep training - it is a Mother's instinct and I just know it isn't right for my bubba either. They're all so unique and he was born so fearful and angry when it came to breastfeeding, I knew he would need gentle nurturing to ease him out his 'zero to 100' panic and crying and he is now a giggling, happy baby that rarely gets upset so I feel like I am on the right track for him at least. I feel your pain about just surviving. Thanks so much for the advice and posting

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by frankie46 View Post
    Oh you poor, poor thing - just know I can 100% relate (I could have written your post when DD was that age), and it WILL get better!

    I remember that stage of having nothing in your life except dealing with these sleep issues. A massive pat on the back to you for getting help for your anxiety, that's a really great step to have taken!

    My DD (now 4.5) was just like your DS - and by the sounds of it I was just like you! I tried everything, including controlled crying but I couldn't do it. Not even the chronic sleep deprivation could make me do it. At about 12 months, she started to improve. Walking around and being more active wore her out a bit more and made some difference, but she was also getting older and the separation anxiety was easing. Her cry definitely changed - it wasn't so much of a distressed wail as it was a protesting whinge Slowly I rocked less and less, remained very calm and constantly assured her, "it's sleep time now darling, go to sleep", again and again each time I came in. So it was controlled crying in a way I guess, but doing it with a 12 month old is quite different! She was definitely old enough to start getting the hang of it, and once I could tell she wasn't distressed, just protesting, it changed my confidence immensely. By 14 months she was sleeping through and I kid you not, we have had zero sleep issues ever since.

    I honestly don't think there's anything I could have done before that. She just needed me in order to sleep. That's just how she was. For a solid 12 months I had nothing in my life, no breaks, no DVD watching, nothing - trust me I wanted to run away so many times! And I was on my own too. You're lucky to have a partner so definitely use him as much as you can. This WILL get better and get easier, I promise you there are so many others like you who are going through the same thing. It sounds to me you are doing all the right things!

    As far as daycare, I'm not sure what advice to offer there. I kept DD out until she was 2.5. By that age the colds and bugs are a bit easier to manage. I can't imagine going through everything I went through, all on my own and having illness to deal with too. I did have my mum to occasionally help out though, so that's how I got my breaks.

    I'm not sure my post has helped, but just wanted to share my experience. Absolutely nothing negative from me, our babies absolutely drain us and it is phenomenally hard! Hang in there, as others have said this WILL get better!!!

    You are amazing and I take my hat off to you frankie46. I am always thinking about single Mamas and I wonder how on earth you do it ! Thankyou for the support and vote of confidence it really helps. It is just so lovely to be reminded that there is a lot that I'm trying and doing right and that this phase just kind of sucks a bit. You are lovely, thank you
    xoxoxoxox

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    frankie46  (26-04-2017)

  4. #23
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    Karmajane - the Lula Doll, I recommended this to friends when I was pregnant and forgot all about it. Great tip about stuffed toy, seems obvious but when there is a million other things to think about it is easy to lose track. Will try. Thanks so so much xoxoxoxxoxox

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    KarmaJane  (26-04-2017)

  6. #24
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    The days are long but the years are short. It is hard to see that when you are in the midst of it and sleep deprivation is horrendous. Do whatever you have to do to get by. You can talk to your maternal child health nurse about "Special childcare benefit" which would give you access to very cheap, if not actually free childcare, if you really feel you need a break.
    It does get so much better. Hang in there.

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    SuperGranny  (28-04-2017)

  8. #25
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi champagneandchocolate. I just want to add, dont try to make too many changes to your routine in one go. The suggestions are all good, but dont try to stop the pram and start white noise and get a comfort pillow, and loose something else, all at once. Give baby time to adjust to any change you might wish to try, and make things a smooth transition rather than a whole new ballgame. Good luck, and i know you will get through this tough time. hugs, marie.

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    are you in melbourne? i'm guessing so if you've used bec's middie.

    give carmel from calm babies a call. i've not used her yet but we've spoken on the phone and she sounds wonderful. she is against controlled crying which really resonated with me, because any attempts to let ds cry it out have ended in disaster. i can't do it and get too upset.
    i think she's based over the eastern side of town (we are west) so she was going to charge us a call out fee. but she also does over the phone consults. please give her a buzz and have a chat, she sounds wonderful.
    the only reason we've not done anything yet (ds has a bottle to sleep dependency) is because i'm not convinced ds needs to give his bottle up yet and i don't feel he's ready to give it up yet. once i feel he's ready, if we still need to, i'll be using carmel for help. she was recommended by my paed so she's good.

  10. #27
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    ps i get not having much family around, i'm in the same boat. it's bloody hard.

    and yes, that is a load of sh!t waiting for 10 mins to yourself. you're worth more than that. get hubby to take himself and bub to mil's place for a day and you get the house to yourself for a day. i'm serious! xx


 

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