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  1. #1
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    Default My mum may have breast cancer :(

    I learnt through my Sil that my mum is being tested for breast cancer. Im feeling devestated....I saw her at the weekend and she didn't mention a thing to me? This isn't the first time I have heard 'on the grapevine'' things about my parents? All the other kids are told what's happening, but me!? I'm so dissapointed and frustrated. I don't understand. I know this holds no relevance, but I'm the only one who doesn't get and birthday gifts too?
    I don't know how to deal with this news as I said, im feeling frustrated.
    Out of all her kids, we live the closest to her. But she refuses to make an effort to visit our kids-we have to visit her. She has no problem driving several hours just to 'pop in' to see her other grandkids, which upsets my kids.
    I just don't know anymore 😥😥
    I'm open to hearing any suggestions....
    Thank you

  2. #2
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    So many ((((hugs))) for you, I'm that child in my family too, so I know the hurt and frustration you're feeling.

    I feel for you that you heard this news from your SIL, but perhaps your Mum didn't want to unnecessarily worry you in advance. I know you probably think the opposite of that because you're feeling hurt, but you never know, and your Mum could be feeling quite scared at the moment, people react in a myriad of ways when their facing the unknown.

    If it were me, I'd call my Mum and tell her I know and go from there. I think it's better to let her know your feelings then sit at home disappointed and frustrated and she's none the wiser (especially when the time comes to hear the test results) as I'm sure you'll want to know the outcome. Xx

  3. #3
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    I get the feeling there are some unresolved issues. You need to go and talk to your mum. I'm sorry about your mum's diagnosis.

  4. #4
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    I am sorry to hear about your mum but if you want someone to talk to I am more then happy to listen. I have been through something similar

  5. #5
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    I think you need to take a step back and wait to find out if it's actually cancer before you make any kind of move. Many tests for cancer come back as negative. If it is negative, than you need to let her know how you felt finding out from your SIL and figure out a way forward with her.

    If it's positive - and I say this with nothing but good intentions - then you need to suck up your hurt and move on, because she will have bigger things to worry about than your feelings (as justified as they are). Cancer doesn't give people a get out of jail free card by any stretch but for now at least, she will be having the absolute worst time in her life. If you cant be there for her because of the other issues than thats fine. You dont have to be. Just dont make it harder either.

    Big hugs. And I hope it turns out to be benign. If not, feel free to PM if you want to chat x


 

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