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  1. #1
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    Default How late is too late?

    How late is too late to drop by someone's house? Not talking a close friend, just someone I'm getting to know but lives nearby.

    This is a guy. He lives down the road. We are both single parents and have been chatting a fair bit lately but are not dating as such.

    He visits his mum who also lives in the neighbourhood and has taken to dropping by on his way home at night... not visiting but dropping things over to me (or picking up eggs as I have chickens).

    But I am not cool with this - and last night was just too late imo and I was literally just getting into bed (but the hall light was still on admittedly) and it was 10.15pm and I get a text 'are you up'? I told him No, I'm just off to bed and I'll chat to him tomorrow.

    So clearly 10.15 is too late for me! And I let him know loud and clear. I have gathered he likes me but seriously, just no! It creeps me out that he would think it's ok to do this (this was the second night in a row). I've told him to 'catch up during the day and let me know first if he plans to drop by'.

    We know plenty of mutual acquaintances/friends from way back so I'm not so uncomfortable in that respect, but yeah I don't know him at all that well so it's just not cool to make a habit of this. I also have a young child at home to consider!

    How late is too late to drop by someone's house at night? I think he was a little shocked at my reaction but I stand by it.

  2. #2
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    People can be very different in their night time habits! I think your response was perfectly appropriate, it's too late for you and you're not comfortable with it. I don't think I would be either - I would maybe let it go once but if it continued I would nip it in the bud before it became a habit.

    It might not be anything out of the ordinary for him. I have friends with 3 kids who are never in bed before 11:30pm, kids in bed at 9pm. Then I have a child free friend who I've suggested the odd catch up with after my daughter is in bed at 7:30pm but she (the friend) always says no as goes to bed at 8:30pm.

    I'm somewhere in between! But certainly wouldn't be a fan of drop-ins at that hour.

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    deedee8  (15-04-2017)

  4. #3
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    Yes I agree. It was just too late and I think because it was the second night in a row that I don't know him well enough yet to be making a habit of this... his daughter is a bit older so I think he's a bit more free in that regard. But not even my friends or family would pop by at that hour!

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    frankie46  (15-04-2017)

  6. #4
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    Mine wouldn't either! I'd freak out hearing a knock at that time, and think for sure something was wrong!

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    deedee8  (15-04-2017)

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    When I was single and in my 20,s that time would have been quite normal but now any time after DS is in bed (normally 8pm ) is too late plus I hate drop ins, I like to know when people are coming!

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    Dinner time is too late unless invited imo.

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    BettyV  (15-04-2017),deedee8  (15-04-2017),HollyGolightly81  (15-04-2017),smallpotatoes  (15-04-2017)

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    At least he asked first! I wouldn't worry too much about it. But yeah for me anytime after 5pm is not really cool unless I was contacted first

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    He didn't actually knock, he texted.... I was caught out as I automatically clicked onto it and opened the text. I would otherwise have ignored it!
    Still, hopefully he's got the message now. If he does it again I will consider that crossing the line!!

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    Anything after 4pm is too late for me! I'm running around like a mad women trying to get dinner, lunches made, house cleaned, kids bathed and stories read so the kids can be in bed by 7 and I can study.

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  17. #10
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    True. He did ask first but he was standing on my porch in the darkness when he did so.... No. He might of texted before he left to check first at tat hour. I felt it just not cool....


 

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