+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 33
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0

    Default HighDweller Kazhazkidz

    I see what you mean. We're still fresh and I want to know i've given it a good hard go. Stubborn. It is low he never paid support. It is low he doesn't pay people back. If I can try to get him to see that, change that, then we will be better off. Just hard.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    23,246
    Thanks
    6,367
    Thanked
    17,670
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenavieve2013 View Post
    I want to know how to motivate him, to show him that when your coupled you work together with the finances. And that me paying bills doesn't count as me spending money.
    Motivate him by saying - pay back the debt, get your sh*t together for your kids, or there is the door. And let the door stay shut!

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    BH-KatiesMum  (12-04-2017),Mum-I-Am  (12-04-2017)

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    1,903
    Thanks
    1,614
    Thanked
    1,599
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenavieve2013 View Post
    I see what you mean. We're still fresh and I want to know i've given it a good hard go. Stubborn. It is low he never paid support. It is low he doesn't pay people back. If I can try to get him to see that, change that, then we will be better off. Just hard.
    People only change if they want to. You can't make someone change because you want them to.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    gingermillie  (12-04-2017),HillDweller  (12-04-2017),misho  (13-04-2017)

  6. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Roleystone
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    2,601
    Thanked
    2,467
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenavieve2013 View Post
    I see what you mean. We're still fresh and I want to know i've given it a good hard go. Stubborn. It is low he never paid support. It is low he doesn't pay people back. If I can try to get him to see that, change that, then we will be better off. Just hard.
    The thing is, he is an adult and it shouldn't be your job to get him to act like one. You are not his mother.

    Why would he see that? Why would he change? He's never suffered any consequences for not paying debts back. In my experience, people who are that selfish will never see what you're wanting him to see.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to HillDweller For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (12-04-2017)

  8. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    23,246
    Thanks
    6,367
    Thanked
    17,670
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I should add, don't take our seemingly abrupt answers as nastiness. That isn't how it's intended. Think of us as the friends that will always tell you the truth no matter what. He is not going to change under the current conditions, be strong for your kids and dump his bags on the lawn until he stops acting like a kid.
    Last edited by delirium; 12-04-2017 at 17:32.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (12-04-2017)

  10. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0

    Default Delirium

    I agree, I put it in a bit harsher words saying I suffered, now you should suffer to make it right. Going without food so your kids can eat is not a hard choice, its selfless. He thinks staying on the couch at a mates place is hard yakka, I was lucky to have a place to live.

    He has seeked help for it, the addictions and is still fragile. So he can brush it off by saying it's making him feel like a drink.

    I'm a very confronting person, and tell him straight to his face not to give me ****. Don't use that against me. And it's his choice weather he feels that's the only way, because he makes his own choices. I don't make anyone drink of do drugs, that's all on the individual

  11. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    Roleystone
    Posts
    1,881
    Thanks
    2,601
    Thanked
    2,467
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I should add, don't take our seemingly abrupt answers as nastiness. That isn't how it's intended. Think of us as the friends that will always tell you the truth no matter what. He is not going to change under the current conditions, he strong for your kids and dump his bags on the lawn until he stops acting like a kid.
    Totally agree with delirium.

    Apologies if my answers are abrupt, I've just been in such a similar situation and known others in the same situation. I've watched us all try so hard for years to change a selfish person and know where it ends up, every single time.

  12. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0

    Default Ssecret Squirrl

    We don't see anyone for us, yet
    But are going to. But going off other appointments he doesn't see his doing anything wrong. We see doctors for my DS and there amazing, but he feels a smack on the bum fixes problems. That took weeks for me to convince its hindering his problems, with a huge increase of lying and spitting, tantrums finally he saw results right there and then.

    He misconstrues what's doctors or professionals say. And he is wrong, a lot. I try not to point it out too much but sometimes I just have to. His wrong so many times

  13. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    Totally agree with delirium.



    Apologies if my answers are abrupt, I've just been in such a similar situation and known others in the same situation. I've watched us all try so hard for years to change a selfish person and know where it ends up, every single time.
    I should. I really should. I don't want to feel like I have the upper hand but I do, because i've earnt itp

  14. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I should add, don't take our seemingly abrupt answers as nastiness. That isn't how it's intended. Think of us as the friends that will always tell you the truth no matter what. He is not going to change under the current conditions, be strong for your kids and dump his bags on the lawn until he stops acting like a kid.
    I like to the point, his a ****. He needs to grow up. His not in control, I am. He hasn't earnt my respect or the respect of people around him. It's a really bad cocky trait


 

Similar Threads

  1. Is there such a thing as too much sleep?
    By emsandolivia in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-09-2006, 19:47
  2. Too much of a good thing?
    By Alatariel in forum Conception issues & ttc
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-08-2006, 17:22
  3. Bad Nappy Hunt - Makes Me Spend Too Much Money!!!
    By WeloveHarriet in forum General area
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 18-05-2006, 05:38

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Be In BlossomWe offer physiotherapy run pregnancy Pilates, pregnancy Aerobics, and Mummy Pilates & Baby Massage classes with a focus ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›