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  1. #11
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    Default Spinoff: letting your kids wear what they want

    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    See, I just don't have an issue with what my kids wear in terms of it being too revealing. They wear short shorts loose shirts where the crop top can be seen underneath as the shirt doesn't sit up above the breasts etc....but it's exactly what I wear! I don't do it attention...I find wearing t shirts and knee length shorts so super uncomfortable and hot. I can't stand it. I don't even own a tshirt....I hate the feel of them.
    What you're describing wouldn't bother me. I'm talking about wearing pretty much a bra without a top, and then denim underwear.

    ETA - but then there are girls that wear stuff like this at my kids' gymnastics gym and I don't even think twice about it.. it's about context I guess

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    What you're describing wouldn't bother me. I'm talking about wearing pretty much a bra without a top, and then denim underwear.

    ETA - but then there are girls that wear stuff like this at my kids' gymnastics gym and I don't even think twice about it.. it's about context I guess
    My girls aren't interested in those kind of clothes so it's a non issue. I own gym shorts that are basically not much bigger than a pair of boy leg undies though...they are uber comfy, and then sometimes I have to go to the shops after my workout and I wear them to the shops.

    As for the swastika example...no my kids wouldn't be allowed to wear something with that on it, but it's in a whole different ball park. My kids know enough....they would never even consider wearing something that had a swatstika on it anyway.

  3. #13
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    Default Spinoff: letting your kids wear what they want

    Yes I agree girls are much more prone to sexual assault but I think it's victim blaming to suggest that a girl wearing "provocative" clothing is at all responsible for it.

  4. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to BigRedV For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (12-04-2017),Full House  (12-04-2017),JustJaq  (11-04-2017),Renn  (11-04-2017),SSecret Squirrel  (12-04-2017),TheGooch  (12-04-2017)

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    I think that certain clothing is inappropriate because of the way it sexualises children: this is a whole other topic of discussion, and something that I'm dreading having to deal with.

    And I know this is a massive generalisation, but it's usually young girls that dress in sexually provocative ways (as opposed to young boys) and it's young girls that are more prone to sexual assault. So this is why it makes me feel uncomfortable.

    Im trying to think of a similar scenario for a boy and I can't really come up with anything.. maybe because I'm not all that fashion savvy, and maybe because groups of boys don't hang out in shopping centres together? The low crotches pants look awful in my opinion but aren't exactly the same thing as semi-naked get up..

    Trying to consider a different kind of fashion faux pas, what if your child decided they wanted to wear a swastika on their shirt because swastikas were the new cool thing? How would you feel about it? Would you say anything to them?
    Clothing (or lack thereof) doesn't sexualise children...adults do. It's adults who put their sexualised concepts onto children. If someone is looking at a child in a swimsuit or a crop top or short shorts and having sexualised thoughts then they are a creep. People shouldn't have to change their behavior because they are concerned about pedophiles.

    And I think this is different anyway. We are talking about teens...who quite frankly are exploring their sexuality, girls in particular in their early teens and boys a bit later. Teens are "dressing to impress". I'm sure they will look back and squirm but it's, for the most part a "phase". Bit like being a "Goth" (or Emo), or going hippy or being a full on surf chick...many kids chose a "group" to identify with and dress accordingly

    Re: swastikas/race hate etc..if it is deliberately offensive then I wouldn't allow it in the home.

  6. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Kaybaby For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (12-04-2017),Full House  (12-04-2017),HillDweller  (12-04-2017),SSecret Squirrel  (12-04-2017)

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    People shouldn't have to change their behavior because they are concerned about pedophiles.
    No people shouldn't have to but they do because they want to protect their children.

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    My daughter has had very strong opinions about her clothing since she was about 10 months old. I kid you not. She's 4.5 now and I will sometimes override her due to weather/appropriate dress for the activity we're doing, but otherwise it's up to her.

    I have no issue whatsoever with a girl walking around wearing practically underwear, if that's what she feels comfortable in. I've spent the last 6 years working with teenagers, and I'm well aware of how pervasive the idea that minimal clothing = lack of self respect is, amongst both boys and girls. It's infuriating. Under no circumstances am I going to legitimize that idea! Yes, if my daughter wears short shorts and a crop top at 12, then there will be people around her thinking just that. I want her to know that she is deserving of respect no matter what she wears, and anybody who thinks otherwise is the one with the problem - not her.

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Renn For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (12-04-2017),Full House  (12-04-2017),PomPoms  (11-04-2017),SSecret Squirrel  (12-04-2017)

  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    My daughter has had very strong opinions about her clothing since she was about 10 months old. I kid you not. She's 4.5 now and I will sometimes override her due to weather/appropriate dress for the activity we're doing, but otherwise it's up to her.

    I have no issue whatsoever with a girl walking around wearing practically underwear, if that's what she feels comfortable in. I've spent the last 6 years working with teenagers, and I'm well aware of how pervasive the idea that minimal clothing = lack of self respect is, amongst both boys and girls. It's infuriating. Under no circumstances am I going to legitimize that idea! Yes, if my daughter wears short shorts and a crop top at 12, then there will be people around her thinking just that. I want her to know that she is deserving of respect no matter what she wears, and anybody who thinks otherwise is the one with the problem - not her.
    This absolutely and perfectly...

    FWIW my DD has been exactly the same from a young age (at 2 she would lay outfits out on the floor to see if they "matched" haha)

  11. #18
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    Our rule is as long the bits that need to covered are covered and there are no offence pictures/sayings than they can dress how they feel.

    On colder days I make them take a warmer piece with them but never force them to wear it. Same goes for hot weather. If they want to wear something I deem to hot. I ask them to pack another option so if they get too hot they can choose to change.

    As for style well I have no sense of style myself so I support whatever they like. My kids have very different styles especially the girls. I am pretty sure that dd1 still lives in the bum hole of Australia just because she can wear jackets 9+months a year.

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Yes I agree girls are much more prone to sexual assault but I think it's victim blaming to suggest that a girl wearing "provocative" clothing is at all responsible for it.
    That's not what im suggesting at all!

  13. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Clothing (or lack thereof) doesn't sexualise children...adults do. It's adults who put their sexualised concepts onto children. If someone is looking at a child in a swimsuit or a crop top or short shorts and having sexualised thoughts then they are a creep. People shouldn't have to change their behavior because they are concerned about pedophiles.
    I wasn't actually thinking about adults here, I was thinking about teenage boys (or girls). I didn't mention pedophiles. I definitely think I need to consider why It bothers me that children who haven't even reached puberty yet are wanting to express themselves in this way, and whether it is sexual or not..


 

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