What you're describing wouldn't bother me. I'm talking about wearing pretty much a bra without a top, and then denim underwear.
ETA - but then there are girls that wear stuff like this at my kids' gymnastics gym and I don't even think twice about it.. it's about context I guess
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11-04-2017 21:58 #11
Spinoff: letting your kids wear what they want
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11-04-2017 22:04 #12
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My girls aren't interested in those kind of clothes so it's a non issue. I own gym shorts that are basically not much bigger than a pair of boy leg undies though...they are uber comfy, and then sometimes I have to go to the shops after my workout and I wear them to the shops.
As for the swastika example...no my kids wouldn't be allowed to wear something with that on it, but it's in a whole different ball park. My kids know enough....they would never even consider wearing something that had a swatstika on it anyway.
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11-04-2017 22:12 #13
Spinoff: letting your kids wear what they want
Yes I agree girls are much more prone to sexual assault but I think it's victim blaming to suggest that a girl wearing "provocative" clothing is at all responsible for it.
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11-04-2017 22:38 #14
Clothing (or lack thereof) doesn't sexualise children...adults do. It's adults who put their sexualised concepts onto children. If someone is looking at a child in a swimsuit or a crop top or short shorts and having sexualised thoughts then they are a creep. People shouldn't have to change their behavior because they are concerned about pedophiles.
And I think this is different anyway. We are talking about teens...who quite frankly are exploring their sexuality, girls in particular in their early teens and boys a bit later. Teens are "dressing to impress". I'm sure they will look back and squirm but it's, for the most part a "phase". Bit like being a "Goth" (or Emo), or going hippy or being a full on surf chick...many kids chose a "group" to identify with and dress accordingly
Re: swastikas/race hate etc..if it is deliberately offensive then I wouldn't allow it in the home.
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11-04-2017 22:56 #15
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11-04-2017 23:49 #16
My daughter has had very strong opinions about her clothing since she was about 10 months old. I kid you not. She's 4.5 now and I will sometimes override her due to weather/appropriate dress for the activity we're doing, but otherwise it's up to her.
I have no issue whatsoever with a girl walking around wearing practically underwear, if that's what she feels comfortable in. I've spent the last 6 years working with teenagers, and I'm well aware of how pervasive the idea that minimal clothing = lack of self respect is, amongst both boys and girls. It's infuriating. Under no circumstances am I going to legitimize that idea! Yes, if my daughter wears short shorts and a crop top at 12, then there will be people around her thinking just that. I want her to know that she is deserving of respect no matter what she wears, and anybody who thinks otherwise is the one with the problem - not her.
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12-04-2017 00:08 #17
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12-04-2017 02:26 #18
Our rule is as long the bits that need to covered are covered and there are no offence pictures/sayings than they can dress how they feel.
On colder days I make them take a warmer piece with them but never force them to wear it. Same goes for hot weather. If they want to wear something I deem to hot. I ask them to pack another option so if they get too hot they can choose to change.
As for style well I have no sense of style myself so I support whatever they like. My kids have very different styles especially the girls. I am pretty sure that dd1 still lives in the bum hole of Australia just because she can wear jackets 9+months a year.
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12-04-2017 08:07 #19
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12-04-2017 08:16 #20
I wasn't actually thinking about adults here, I was thinking about teenage boys (or girls). I didn't mention pedophiles. I definitely think I need to consider why It bothers me that children who haven't even reached puberty yet are wanting to express themselves in this way, and whether it is sexual or not..
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