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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2017

    Default Brisbanite potentially seeking a kind egg donor


    I am 39yo, turning 40yo in July (eek!) and have been told by my FS that I have about a 5% chance of falling pregnant with my own eggs . I have been TTC for almost 2 years and been doing IVF for about 14 months. I've completed 6 stim cycles and 3 fresh transfers, all BFN. I have two PGD normal, good quality embryos on ice waiting to be transferred in a few months time while I am on zoladex to prepare for the FET. My current FS is the renowned Dr Warren De Ambrosis at the Queensland Fertility Group (QFG).

    I met my partner in my early 30s when I was training to become a psychologist - an undertaking that took many years. We have been together for 8 years. Neither of us have any children. We fell in love, courted, travelled, bought a house and built our careers during my early to mid 30s. I always knew I wanted to be a Mum, but didn't feel ready to start trying until I was 38yo. I thought I would fall pregnant easily after having periods like clockwork and friends who were the same age falling pregnant at the drop of a hat, but this wasn't the case for me. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason though and that this could be my journey, my life trajectory; that the universe is unfolding as it should be.

    "Kind, caring, warm, compassionate, passionate, a big heart, affectionate, loving, thoughtful, resourceful, more front than Myers, persistent, determined, conscientious" are just some of the adjectives that others have used to describe me, of which I would humbly agree. People often say to me what a great Mum they think I'd make. When I have done the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I have been an ESFJ (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) - google "MBTI ESFJ" and this fairly aptly describes my personality. I chose psychology as a profession because I wanted to make a difference and help others. I now work full-time as a psychologist performing counselling and other
    services for emergency servicers workers.

    I am a true people and animal person. An avid advocate and lover of all creatures great and small, I especially adore dogs and cats. I have a gorgeous golden retriever and British Shorthair cat who are my kids/family - I cherish spending time playing and
    hanging out with them. I enjoy socialising with family and friends - much of my spare time is spent with my partner, Mum, Dad, and friends (in addition to my fur kids). I love the outdoors, going to the beach, being in a rainforest or the bush, sitting by a fire with a glass of wine and cheese, dining on a delicious meal, baking goodies, going to the movies, reading autobiographies/self-help/psych-related books, looking at beauty products (I love skincare and make-up and have done a Cert IV in Beauty Therapy). I also love travelling - meeting new people, sight seeing, trying new foods, and
    saturating my senses with the delights of new countries and cultures.

    In a nutshell - my values centre around social justice, equality/egalitarianism,
    animal advocacy/activism, anti-bullying, mental health awareness and advocacy
    just to name a few. Whilst I feel like I've ticked a lot of bucket list items and achieved many of my goals, I believe that my biggest achievement in life will hopefully be bringing up my future happy, healthy, well-adjusted child(ren). Becoming a Mother is something I long for - the most important role that I can take on that I imagine will challenge and fulfil every fibre of my mind/body. My partner and I have so much love to give - we can't wait!!!!

    My partner is one of the kindest people I know - he is sweet, caring, patient, gentle, humble, loyal, intelligent, analytical, thoughtful, introverted, sensitive amongst many other beautiful qualities. He works full-time as a surveyor. He will make the best Dad one day - he treats our fur kids with so much loving care and attentiveness. His interests, values and beliefs are similar to my own - he's like an introverted, quieter version of me
    :-). If he was to do the MBTI, he would most likely be an 'ISFJ'.

    Together, we feel as though we are ready, able and passionate about becoming parents . We have the emotional and financial stability, family support, and an abundance of love and maternal/paternal inclination to make good parents. We will be loving and attentive, though still implement appropriate boundaries and gentle discipline. Teaching our child to be kind and caring and ultimately grow up to be a good person with sound morals, good old-fashioned values and manners will be our first and foremost priority. We aim to provide our child with plenty of opportunities to develop their
    passions, interests and hobbies, pursue their dreams, and embrace life's adventures through good education, travel, sports, the arts, music etc.

    We believe in encouraging and supporting children in a nurturing, loving, stable, honest, and respectful environment, surrounded by family and friends, giving them the best start in life. Both of us were lucky/blessed enough to have our own loving, stable childhoods (my partner grew up in Melbourne, whilst I grew up in Brisbane, Fiji and then Melbourne with Dad moving around for work) - we are fiercely loyal to our families who are our best friends and biggest cheerleaders . I am one of two girls, with an older sister in Melbourne, who has a young daughter and son. My partner is the middle son of 3 boys, who also live in Melbourne. My parents can't wait to be grandparents for the third time, whilst my parents-in-law are beside themselves about becoming grandparents for the first time.

    I am very open to the idea of egg donation - I truly believe that nurture can play a just
    as significant role as nature in the creation of a baby - your eggs/genetics
    will be the precious foundation of life, whilst my and my partner's parenting
    will provide the ongoing life building blocks/structures/support. I guess in
    many ways I am searching for a better version of myself - I'm not tied to my
    genetics and in my heart, I know I wouldn't bond any less with a child who
    doesn't have my own biology. I think epigenetics also plays a significant role.

    I would love the potential egg donor to:

    *Be willing to be an open or semi-open donor - I'd like to meet to see if we connect and get along before committing to the egg donation and have some kind of ongoing relationship and contact (though to what degree, I haven't worked out yet - happy to discuss with the donor from the start). I truly believe that it is in the best interests of the child to have knowledge of their genetic background/identity and access to their genetic
    'Angel' for their psychological wellbeing but also for any future medical issues. I am dead set against anonymous donation. Therefore, I will be telling my child from the get go the special way that they were conceived with a donor.

    *Have a similar background and values to myself, though I'm not after a clone of
    myself!! Our ability to connect is important.

    *Be kind, caring, compassionate and a good person above all else.

    *Be aged between 20-35 years of age.

    *Be physically and mentally healthy.

    *Be drug-free.

    Please note I would be happy to travel to the donor, but it would be fantastic if they were open to also travelling to me. I have no preference as to whether the donor is interstate or local - distance is no obstacle.

    I understand that being an egg donor is a huge emotional and physical commitment that involves immense selflessness, altruism, compassion, generosity and sacrifice - I thank you from the bottom of my heart for potentially providing this gift of hope and life to me, my partner and/or others who are looking for an egg donor. Thank you for your time in reading this long synopsis of me and my circumstances.

    Last edited by Sunshine77a; 11-04-2017 at 10:30.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    I'm not an egg donor, I'm an egg recipient.

    After 4 own-egg cycles I turned to an egg donor for help and have honestly NEVER regretted it. I was lucky enough to fall pregnant on my first transfer after we cycled, and am now 42 years old and FINALLY expecting my first baby, currently 28 weeks pregnant.

    I just wanted to say I really admire your strength in making what can be (for some) a very difficult decision. I have no doubt you will be successful, especially having a brilliant man like Wazza in your corner. I have not had the pleasure of meeting him myself but I know of many, many ladies who are holding their babies in their arms thanks to him.

    Good luck to you hon. I am happy to chat any time

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Blossom74 For This Useful Post:

    babybeeno1  (13-04-2017),Mamasupial  (13-04-2017),Sunshine77a  (13-04-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2017

    Default Hello

    Hi Blossom74,

    Thank you for your reply. Congrats on your pregnancy!!! How exciting! How did you find your egg donor? I am advertising on several sites - the most useful one is EDA at the moment. Where are you based? I'm in Brisbane. Wazza is a fantastic Dr but ironically I've had my worst results with him...I think because he does the AACP protocol and that doesn't seem to work for my body...I'm so hoping my two little remaining embryos work but if they don't, I am getting my head around the egg donation decision....what helped you make the decision?

    How has your pregnancy been? Do you know what gender you're having?

    Thank you for the positivity and inspiration.

    I'd love to have a chat...either IM or if you're in Brissy, maybe we could catch up for a coffee? Thanks again for your lovely message. :-)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    You had your worst cycles with Wazza as well!! No surprises there. I wish you all the luck in the world finding a donor. It's a shame you didn't try cycling with someone else before making your decision to go down the egg donor path. All the best.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Hi RonnyJ23,

    I'm definitely going to get a second opinion and possibly do a few more cycles before going down the egg donor path...I just want to get the ball rolling in case I do need to go down this path....what about you - what was your experience with Wazza?

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Sunshine77a For This Useful Post:

    KezKez  (07-11-2017)


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