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  1. #11
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    My DH is often away similar hours, drives a LOT for work and is away 2-3 nights a week average. Then other commitment on Saturdays.
    Very similar situation toddler plus 6 month old (terrible sleeper), toddler in daycare 2 days a week.
    What i have found difficult to deal with having two children is never being alone. Ever. Even when the big one is at daycare the little one sleeps in 45 minute bursts. I have stuff do do around the house. Then broken sleep overnight - its fricken relentless.
    You want a sleep in on Sundays, when does she get a sleep in? I bet you get a lunch break. She doesn't and she works 24 hours a day.
    You need to figure out how you can both get a break. You are both working hard and must be exhausted.
    Night feeds, I do all of them (breastfeeding) because DH needs to sleep to be alert for work. If the baby is being a total jerk I'll dump him in bed with DH at 4am just to get a few hours rest.
    What we do: one Sunday DH takes both kids for an hour walk/park trip and lets me sleep in the morning. The next Sunday he either looks after the baby while I sleep during my toddlers 2 hour nap or he takes both away for a couple hours in the arvo and brings home takeaway dinner.
    Just getting a few hours break makes a huge difference!
    If you're not willing to compromise on the Sunday sleep in maybe offer to take both kids away for a few hours in the afternoon. DH takes ours to his mums house to visit.

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  3. #12
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    Default What is reasonable?

    Here's a tip- if you are not doing night wakings/early mornings do not then get up complain what a cr@p night's sleep you had or if your wife says she's tired then do not then complain about how tired you are.
    Seriously.
    When my dh does this I want to punch him in the face as it makes me so angry.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 10-04-2017 at 16:09.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Here's a tip- if you are not doing night wakings/early mornings do not then get up complain what a cr@p night's sleep you had or if your wife says she's tired then do not then complain about how tired you are.
    Seriously.
    When my dh does this I want to punch him in the face as it makes me so angry.
    This! Totally this! Makes my blood boil!

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  7. #14
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    I think her expectation is fair. You work long hours providing for your family and that's fantastic. But as a mother at home with 3 kids myself, so does your wife. The difference is that society deems your work as 'valuable' and 'worthy', while it deems ours as 'sitting on our butts' and being 'lazy'. I'm not saying you feel that way, but I think you need to be careful what messages you send to your wife about her role and the value you place on it.

    I run a home business, 2 older kids and have a crazy 2 yr old at home who doesn't use daycare. But I can tell you in all honesty that I don't stop from 5.30-6am until sometimes 11pm. My husband has knocked off at 5, come home to a home cooked meal and will watch tv/play the PC for the evening. I spend it cleaning, making lunches and dealing with customers and orders until I crawl into bed. Not only is it exhausting, it's largely thankless. I have to constantly remind everyone around me that I do actually DO something and my role IS worthy.

    It sounds like you both work hard OP. So why shouldn't she get a sleep in too? It sucks there is only Sunday per week, but that's being a parent. I'm making an educated guess here that your wife feels you believe your job is more important and worthy than hers, thus you feeling you should always get Sunday. Please value her role. Not only will she become resentful if you don't, you are raising the next generation of men. They will learn from you that women at home always come second to their husbands because being at home isn't a 'real' job.
    Last edited by delirium; 10-04-2017 at 16:53.

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  9. #15
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    My sister and her hubby have an arrangement where my sister gets up first on the one day off they have together. She's on the kids for a few hours. Then he gets up and she goes back to bed for a few hours.

  10. #16
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    When we were in that situation, me, as the one at home would do all the night feedings, but then I was breastfeeding so I was kind of necessary. But even bottlefeeding I would expect to do the vast majority of wakeups with the little one, but I would expect you to help out with the elder. As I did the wakeups, my DH would get in the morning with them though and I'd sleep until he had to leave. This worked really well for us, but given you leave early in the mornings it might not work for you.

    I also think its reasonable to rotate Sunday sleep ins - we do this and it works pretty well

  11. #17
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    Default What is reasonable?

    Everyone needs some me time. Without it you become angry and resentful. You both need to schedule "you time"

  12. #18
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    Default What is reasonable?

    I think you should share the early Sunday morning so each can have a sleep in.

    You are saying how you like to sleep in because you work 6 days and up to 70 hours week but guess what...your wife is working 24/7. And she's not even being paid for it! She deserves a morning off as well.

    I would probably do the night stuff if I was your wife because you are working with knives I assume and need to be well rested. I used to get up in the night for my kids if they needed because my husband drives for a living and often uses heavy machinery. My husband also works until 2 on Saturdays and usually at least 10 hour days during the week.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 10-04-2017 at 18:56.

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  14. #19
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    Every 2nd week u get a sleep in? Ye, I reckon you're getting a good deal.

    You both do long hours.

    You both deserve a sleep in, after all, she's working night shift.

    It's incredibly isolating being a mum and having a hubby who works long hours. Please keep that in mind. A small gesture to say thank you for all she does would go a long way.

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  16. #20
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    I think your wife's expectation is fair. I get that you work hard and work long hours outside the home but she works hard too - long hours inside the home and at the end of the day you are both parents to your children.

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