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  1. #81
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    If your daughter is as you say going to a private school then one would assume they have a pretty strict uniform policy and a uniform that would cover the colder months???

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    My 13yo would rather die of pneumonia than wear gumboots...or clothes she doesn't like.
    She 12...just leave her be. She either going to end up browbeaten or rebellious, neither of which are good traits heading into teen/adulthood. Give the poor kid some autonomy.

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  5. #83
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    OP please look into respectful parenting. Take a step (or 10) back and let your daughter have control of herself. Listen to her and respect her wishes. If you won't listen to her now at 12 years old over a jacket she will not come to you as a teenager or adult with bigger problems and will instead turn to peer pressure. Please stop trying to control her. Even my 3 year old gets to choose his own clothes.

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    My 2 year old is wearing a cotton long sleeve shirt today. I have no idea what the temp is at the moment, but I'm wearing a jumper and feeling chilly enough to sit in the sun. She's in the shady sandpit. I asked her if she was cold and wanted a jumper and I have one out here for her, but she's adamant she doesn't want it.

    I've started to understand that she just doesn't feel the cold like I do. I'm covered up with my doona at night, while she's kicking off her blanket. I keep covering her up and she keeps kicking it off lol. I just let it go because I don't want to force her to be too hot. If she's underdressed, she will be cold and ask for her jumper or say yes when I offer it.

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    Default Update

    I discussed this with my husband and we agreed that as an early birthday we'll let my daughter choose any new winter coat as long as it's warm enough. I hope that ends our trouble with this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine03 View Post
    I discussed this with my husband and we agreed that as an early birthday we'll let my daughter choose any new winter coat as long as it's warm enough. I hope that ends our trouble with this.
    And what happens if she doesn't want to wear the new one?

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    lol - when I responded to this I thought the kid was 2 or 3.

    At 12 she can choose for herself surely.


    just as an anecdote - my daughter (11) HATES wearing jumpers to school - and so just doesnt. She walks to school so it tends to be cold but she still doesnt. She had to wear a jumper last year (grade 5) for a school function, and the only 1 I had was a size 6 as that is how long it has been since she wore a jumper to school

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    And what happens if she doesn't want to wear the new one?
    That's why we're letting her choose the coat she wants, so she will have one that she will actually like and want to wear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine03 View Post
    That's exactly what my daughter would do, she could be freezing and she still won't put warmer clothes on. That's why I have to make her put them on, I don't want her being cold and wet and risk get sick.
    But you've created that in her. If you had just put the coat in her bag and left it up to her she would probably just put it on when she got cold. Now she won't do it out of spite. You've only got yourself to blame there.

    I already let my 5 year old DD decide when/if she wants to wear a jumper at school. Why you're trying to control a 12 year old is completely beyond me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine03 View Post
    I discussed this with my husband and we agreed that as an early birthday we'll let my daughter choose any new winter coat as long as it's warm enough. I hope that ends our trouble with this.
    I think that's a great idea and it's great that you're willing to be flexible. Keep in mind that even if your DD chooses a coat that she likes she may not always want to wear it when you think she should. If you are able to compromise whereby she doesn't necessarily have to wear the coat but she does have to take it with her in her bag if the weather is cold I think you'll have more success and you'll all be happier.

    Can I ask, were you raised in Aus OP? I only ask because I find that people raised in the northern hemisphere are often used to the idea of 'winter dressing' with a coat, scarf, boots etc but I find that's not very common in Aus since winter is so short and mild generally. No judgement, I just find your concern interesting, I've never met a parent who insists their child wear a coat and boots etc but then I'm from QLD so that's probably why I find it so unusual.

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