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  1. #41
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    Take her shopping and let her pick warm clothes that she is comfortable wearing. Even suggest letting a friend come along for 'advice'. Problem solved!

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    Californication  (10-04-2017)

  3. #42
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    I am surprised she's not choosing all of her clothing by 12? My DD is only 8 but I imagine by 12 they're wanting to pick the clothes that are to their own taste and comfort? DD has certainly had an opinion for the last few years! (And if I want her to wear something in particular I know my best chance of her wearing that is to suggest she wear something else )

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (11-04-2017)

  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I swear I'm having deja vu. Last time I was here there was a post by a brand new member about her daughter not wearing her jacket.

    OP, what does your partner say? Perhaps your dislike of being cold and wet is influencing your ability to just step back and let your daughter face her own consequences?
    My husband agrees with me on this. If I'm not around he makes sure that she dresses warmly too.

  6. #44
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    Getting sick from the cold is a myth. Sure, if she's REALLY cold she could get hypothermia, but that's not likely at 7 degrees, and she'd know she was cold before it got to that point.

    I agree with others - let it go.

  7. #45
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    Default Daughter arguing with me she about her clothes

    OP, you've got 2 choices, let it go and give her some freedom of choice in what she wears, or keep fighting and go on as you are. You don't seem to be willing to take people's advice and let it go, so I'm not sure what you are wanting us to say.

    She's 12. She's going to have strong opinions on how she looks and what she wears. She will be a teenager soon, and if you keep forcing her to do things your way and not giving her a choice, your relationship will suffer. Learn to compromise.

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    amyd  (11-04-2017),gingermillie  (10-04-2017),Happymum2  (11-04-2017),Little Miss Sunshine  (11-04-2017),Mod-Wise Enough  (11-04-2017)

  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    I don't mean to offend you OP but it seems you have a problem with control. Let your daughter choose what she wears or doesn't. If she gets cold thats on her. She could bring her coat if she changes her mind. You need to let her face her own consequences for her actions. Good and bad.
    Don't worry I'm not offended, I know that sometimes I have to be a little controlling with my daughter. She can be upset with me for a little for making her wear her winter coat, but I'd rather have that then her getting cold.

  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    Let it go. You can't control everything she does. She will just resent you for it.
    I don't think she'll resent me just for making her wear a winter coat!

  11. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by bezzy View Post
    If she was much younger I'd say try to find a way to get her to dress warmer, but I think by 12 she can work out for herself what she wants to wear. Can you take her shopping to pick something she feels comfortable in if you are worried she's cold.
    I've tried doing that before, the clothes that she wants aren't nearly warm enough.

  12. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanabananah View Post
    You don't seem to like any of the suggestions of: compromise (you believe you already are), letting her wear what she wants (you believe that letting her get cold as a result isn't good enough) and making a token effort to try give her some thing to wear if she does get cold.

    You seem to be asking how to force someone to do something they don't want to do, because you believe it is good for them..... I don't think you will find any "tips" or "suggestions" that will be a satisfactory outcome for that. Because forcing someone to do something very rarely ends well.

    There's usually some sort of resentment, which I have no doubt you want to avoid.

    Good. Luck finding an outcome....

    The only way I see you both coming to an agreement is for you to somehow find a jacket that finds the line do her liking the way it looks and you being satisfied with a minimum warmth

    Edited to add: I was just like this, and it wasn't until mum calmed down and let me make my own decisions that I was able to find the logic in her way.
    I mean what choice other than forcing her to wear a coat do I have if she won't do it otherwise?

  13. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unschooling4 View Post
    I understand you care about her but taking a step back and giving her control of her body and actions doesn't mean you care less. She needs to learn independence and natural consequences.
    The only thing that I make her wear is winter clothes, other than that she has almost complete control of what else she's wearing.


 

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