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  1. #31
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    I swear I'm having deja vu. Last time I was here there was a post by a brand new member about her daughter not wearing her jacket.

    OP, what does your partner say? Perhaps your dislike of being cold and wet is influencing your ability to just step back and let your daughter face her own consequences?

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    gingermillie  (10-04-2017)

  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by yadot View Post
    I thought that was a myth? I thought its viruses/ germs that make you sick, not being cold?
    I think being cold plays into it. You can get hypothermia from just being exposed to the cold.

  4. #33
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    I don't mean to offend you OP but it seems you have a problem with control. Let your daughter choose what she wears or doesn't. If she gets cold thats on her. She could bring her coat if she changes her mind. You need to let her face her own consequences for her actions. Good and bad.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Nette View Post
    The cold doesn't seem to bother her, what are you worried will happen if she doesn't wear the warm clothes?

    I remember when I was a teenager my mum wanted me to wear warmer clothes for a particular event. I didn't want to. We both dug our heels in. Throughout the event I was freezing, but I absolutely refused to admit it and give mum the satisfaction that she had won. Be careful that your dogmatic attitude doesn't back your DD into a similar position.

    Suggest that she should wear the clothes, put them in her bag and leave it at that.
    That's exactly what my daughter would do, she could be freezing and she still won't put warmer clothes on. That's why I have to make her put them on, I don't want her being cold and wet and risk get sick.

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine03 View Post
    That's exactly what my daughter would do, she could be freezing and she still won't put warmer clothes on. That's why I have to make her put them on, I don't want her being cold and wet and risk get sick.
    Let it go. You can't control everything she does. She will just resent you for it.

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    Californication  (10-04-2017)

  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    Don't you remember being 12?
    It's about fitting in, not being warm or dressing as your mum sees fit.
    She is probably embarrassed by the jacket! Leave her be!
    When I was twelve I had much less freedom of choice of what to wear than my daughter does now. And I think she is embarrassed by her winter coat, but I'm more worried about her being warm.

  10. #37
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    If she was much younger I'd say try to find a way to get her to dress warmer, but I think by 12 she can work out for herself what she wants to wear. Can you take her shopping to pick something she feels comfortable in if you are worried she's cold.

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  12. #38
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    Default Daughter arguing with me she about her clothes

    You don't seem to like any of the suggestions of: compromise (you believe you already are), letting her wear what she wants (you believe that letting her get cold as a result isn't good enough) and making a token effort to try give her some thing to wear if she does get cold.

    You seem to be asking how to force someone to do something they don't want to do, because you believe it is good for them..... I don't think you will find any "tips" or "suggestions" that will be a satisfactory outcome for that. Because forcing someone to do something very rarely ends well.

    There's usually some sort of resentment, which I have no doubt you want to avoid.

    Good. Luck finding an outcome....

    The only way I see you both coming to an agreement is for you to somehow find a jacket that finds the line do her liking the way it looks and you being satisfied with a minimum warmth

    Edited to add: I was just like this, and it wasn't until mum calmed down and let me make my own decisions that I was able to find the logic in her way.
    Last edited by Lanabananah; 10-04-2017 at 23:10.

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  14. #39
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    I understand you care about her but taking a step back and giving her control of her body and actions doesn't mean you care less. She needs to learn independence and natural consequences.

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  16. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Find a compromise. See what she wants to wear, tell her it's cold and you would like her to wear x. When she says no ask what she suggests. Let her feel like it's her decision.

    In 6 years she can drive off on her own. She needs to learn responsibility and independence.

    It's the change in temperatures which lowers your immune system.
    Her decision would be to never wear a winter coat. I can try letting her choose her hat and scarf, that might placate her a bit.


 

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