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  1. #91
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    If it makes you feel any better, i couldn't make my 2.5 yr old wear a jumper today... it's hard to realise kids can have indominable wills of their own!

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine03 View Post
    I discussed this with my husband and we agreed that as an early birthday we'll let my daughter choose any new winter coat as long as it's warm enough. I hope that ends our trouble with this.
    But this is not "our" trouble...it's your daughter's problem, whether she wears a coat is her choice...why on earth you would force a 12yo to wear a coat is beyond me. She's 12 not 2...

  3. #93
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    I think you and your daughter sound as stubborn as each other!

    She's 12. Likely you'll have much bigger issues to worry about over the next few years. Don't let this become such an issue that it sets the tone for years to come.

    She's not going to get hypothermia. Likely her susceptibility to catching a cold may increase due to her catching a chill. But seriously, she's at school, she's in the classroom for the majority of the day.

    Pick your battles OP.

    Good luck

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  5. #94
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    I just asked my girls (9 and 12) what they thought. They said "you can't force someone to wear a coat. If they get cold that's their fault".

  6. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    I think that's a great idea and it's great that you're willing to be flexible. Keep in mind that even if your DD chooses a coat that she likes she may not always want to wear it when you think she should. If you are able to compromise whereby she doesn't necessarily have to wear the coat but she does have to take it with her in her bag if the weather is cold I think you'll have more success and you'll all be happier.

    Can I ask, were you raised in Aus OP? I only ask because I find that people raised in the northern hemisphere are often used to the idea of 'winter dressing' with a coat, scarf, boots etc but I find that's not very common in Aus since winter is so short and mild generally. No judgement, I just find your concern interesting, I've never met a parent who insists their child wear a coat and boots etc but then I'm from QLD so that's probably why I find it so unusual.
    I was born in England but lived in Italy most of my pre adult life. Moved to Australia because of my husband.

  7. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine03 View Post
    I was born in England but lived in Italy most of my pre adult life. Moved to Australia because of my husband.
    Do you think this could be why you and your daughter are not seeing eye to eye in this? I assume when you were growing up it was the norm to wear a coat, boots, scarves and gloves in winter? And all your friends probably did the same. Since it's not as common here your daughter probably worries that she sticks out when she dresses like that.

    Try to see it from her point of view. It's hard I know, my parents did not grow up in Aus and we had so many battles when I was growing up because what was normal for them as teenagers was foreign to me. Remember when your daughter refuses to wear her coat she's not trying to upset you, she just wants to exert some control in her life which is a perfectly normal desire for a 12 year old. Good luck

  8. #97
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    So, I have a 12 year old DD who is in first year of high school.

    She chooses her own clothes. Does she always choose things I like? No, but it is never inappropriate.

    For me my relationship with my DD is more important than forcing her to wear clothes she doesn't like. Encouraging a positive, supportive and open line of communication trumps everything. Ensuring that she can come to me with issues because she feels supported and listened to without a history of me overriding her on something like clothes makes sense to me.

    Depending on where you live in Australia it doesn't get anywhere near as cold as in England or Italy. My kids don't actually own 'outer wear', but we live in QLD. I grew up in western Sydney (much colder than QLD) and never needed 'outer wear' either.

    Why not let her choose her jacket, great idea! Then encourage her to wear it but don't force her to. She will only be cold one day and she will wear the jacket she picked next time it is cold.

    If you actually research it I think you will find that it is not being cold that makes you sick it is either the virus or the bacteria. It just so happens that there are more 'bugs' around in the cooler weather. So her being cold isn't going to make her sick. If she is sick all the time work on hand washing and hygiene.

  9. #98
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    OP, it's not as simple as her being defiant about not wearing it. At her age, it's about fashion which ties in with her sense of identity she is developing. How she presents herself will influence how she feels.

    Maybe read up on dealing with pre-teens/teens. Look for some helpful strategies on how to respect her desires as she develops her sense of identity.

    And for what it's worth, no chance my Mum would have been able to convince me to wear ANYTHING I didn't want to wear at that age. My sense of fashion, or what 'looked cool' was literally all that mattered.

  10. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katherine03 View Post
    I discussed this with my husband and we agreed that as an early birthday we'll let my daughter choose any new winter coat as long as it's warm enough. I hope that ends our trouble with this.
    Who decides if it's warm enough?

    My husband is horrified that on a 10 degree day I go to work wearing a tank top and pants. I just don't feel the cold like he does.

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  12. #100
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    A new coat for her birthday, when she's clearly not happy about wearing a coat!
    Best birthday gift ever!

    Give the girl a break, it's just a coat and if the issue of her wearing one is the biggest issue you're having with you kid, thank your lucky stars! It's just so trivial!

    Pick your battles op! This isn't one!

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