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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    So your kids think it is naughty not to believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny?
    Either that or the kids who get presents from parents instead of the EB or Santa (so everyone given we're talking highschool age), are naughty children. I agree with the pp's husband...time to tell this child the truth. These lies are not okay.

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  3. #22
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    Sorry @LifeIsGood but that's a horrible thing to say to your child, not just because it's a terrible lie but it's about a lot of other children too! You are only making it worse on yourself when she does actually find out these things aren't true and she may be classed as "naughty"

    My girls have asked the question my reply is "if you believe you receive, if not that's ok - mum and dad have it covered" which has worked perfectly for my girls. 10 year old knows the truth, 8 year old pretends she still believes when we know she doesn't lol, 5&7 are true believers!

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  5. #23
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    A couple of points ...

    She doesn't think it's naughty to not believe in Santa/Easter Bunny. She believes, so why would she think any other way.

    Aren't you all telling lies to your children regarding Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/Mermaids/Fairies/Unicorns by starting the "lie" in the first place? Hypocritical much?

    I'm not making it worse on myself by not having told the truth of it to her yet. She will find out when she finds out. So what if she's 20 and still believes. It's not part of her every day life to discuss Santa/Easter Bunny. She's been at the age where her discussions with her friends are What do you want for Christmas / What did you get for Easter.

    Of course when she finds out, she's not going to think she's naughty. She's not a moron. My DD is an extremely well behaved, compassionate, empathetic girl. She is a hard worker and puts great effort into everything. She is not naive to think because she believed in Santa/Easter Bunny that she was naughty. We positive re-enforce everything. She knows what a good girl she is and how proud we are of everything she does (whether she achieves her goal or not).

    If other people's children decide to go around telling other children that Santa/Easter Bunny aren't real. Are they good children? I have been in line for Santa photos at Myer and had 6/7 year olds walking past yelling to all the children in the line (from babies to teens) that Santa isn't real. Do you think that's a good child?

    Finally, MY KID - MY RULES. It is in no way harming her.

  6. #24
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    I dont like the term 'good child' and 'naughty child'. No-one is good, or naughty - that's labelling the child instead of the behaviour.

    My kids know santa isnt real from the beginning, but I do similar to @BornToBe and tell them it's a pretend game people like to play. I tell them we can play the game and pretend too, but we shouldnt spoil the game for other kids. If my kids went around maliciously saying 'santa isnt real!' in order to upset someone, well that's nasty, and we would char about their behaviour. If my kids were having a conversation & let it slip they dont believe in santa - that's ok by me - I dont put the responsibility on my 5 year old to maintain a lie to their friends. It's about the intent behind their behaviour.

    I always find it shocking when I hear of things like high school kids still believing in santa. What age is 'too old' to believe? Genuine question for those who tell their kids santa is real. Surely there comes a point where they deserve to know the truth?

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  8. #25
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    Agree @Cheeeeeesecake for me personally, I'd probably want to tell them the truth by 10. If my girls have asked at an early age, I've always told them the line about believing and receiving but not missing out either. I've never actually told them about santa or the Easter bunny for that matter, they've picked that up from everyone else and we run with it if they want. They know santa in the shops is a person dressed up as a santa, they know never to tell other kids what their beliefs are so as not to ruin the magic for other children etc.

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  10. #26
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    @Life is Good, your child, your rules absolutely. I was just curious, as they're not decisions i would make.

    For me where i would not be comfortable is telling such elaborate lies, and casting aspersions on other kids too (too naughty for Santa) - that would not sit right with me - for my child.

    Your post seemed a little defensive too. Just wondering if you've thought about for whose benefit you're going to these lengths to maintain the fantasy? Is a previous post you said *you'd* be devastated when she no longer believes. I just wonder how she'll feel when she does click too - she might feel silly in front of her friends for believing so long, and maybe lose a bit of trust?
    Last edited by JustJaq; 10-04-2017 at 16:25.

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  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I dont like the term 'good child' and 'naughty child'. No-one is good, or naughty - that's labelling the child instead of the behaviour.

    My kids know santa isnt real from the beginning, but I do similar to @BornToBe and tell them it's a pretend game people like to play. I tell them we can play the game and pretend too, but we shouldnt spoil the game for other kids. If my kids went around maliciously saying 'santa isnt real!' in order to upset someone, well that's nasty, and we would char about their behaviour. If my kids were having a conversation & let it slip they dont believe in santa - that's ok by me - I dont put the responsibility on my 5 year old to maintain a lie to their friends. It's about the intent behind their behaviour.

    I always find it shocking when I hear of things like high school kids still believing in santa. What age is 'too old' to believe? Genuine question for those who tell their kids santa is real. Surely there comes a point where they deserve to know the truth?
    I love the magic of santa, but by highschool they are too old and need to know the truth. I also don't make up elaborate lies about Santa etc. to keep the dream alive. Once my child starts questioning I tell them the truth. My intent has always been to bring the same magic to my kids childhood as I have...not to force them in to believing with awful lies about other children, or forcing them to lie to me so that I can think they still believe. My niece told me at 8 that she didn't believe in Santa...her parents tell me she believed until she was 14. She just rolls her eyes when they mention it. She pretended to believe for their sake, because they wouldn't just tell her the truth when she asked.
    I really think most kids figure it out by around aged 10...very few would still believe by year 6 and I personally feel any child who says they believe at highschool age is saying they believe to please their parents. Just my opinion of course, but from what I've seen and heard in my entire life span that rings true.
    I never did the whole 'naughty or nice' thing. It never sat well with me. We always just said that some families don't want Santa to come to their house because the parents want to buy the presents themselves. I don't see why anyone needs to add in lies about kids being naughty to convince their child thst Santa is real.

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  14. #28
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    I read a thing about it a while ago and plan to do something similar with my kids.
    When they start to question Santa, I will say that everybody can be somebodies Santa and encourage them to pick a person outside the family, think long and hard about what that person would like and buy them a gift. Sign it as from Santa and leave it anonymously. That way the magic of "Santa" because the magic of being selfless and giving without any anticipated reciprocity.
    And to also keep the secret of the "real Santa/them being Santa" a secret from their younger siblings until they are old enough too.

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  16. #29
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    I always said "What do you think" and then said to them "Well there you go then".

    DD9 still believes.

    DD12 no longer believes but loves being able to help being Santa or Easter Bunny. She just announced before Christmas last year that she knew it was us and not Santa, but that she loved the idea of Santa and wanted to keep the secret so her sister could enjoy Santa.

    When DD9 was going to her fathers DD12 took $2 as DD9 tooth was close to falling out. Their father wouldn't do it according to them, so DD12 became the tooth fairy for DD9.

    I don't say anything about other children's beliefs and my children have never been too worried about what other kids say and have always been sure in their own thoughts.

  17. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJaq View Post
    @Life is Good, your child, your rules absolutely. I was just curious, as they're not decisions i would make.

    For me where i would not be comfortable is telling such elaborate lies, and casting aspersions on other kids too (too naughty for Santa) - that would not sit right with me - for my child.

    Your post seemed a little defensive too. Just wondering if you've thought about for whose benefit you're going to these lengths to maintain the fantasy? Is a previous post you said *you'd* be devastated when she no longer believes. I just wonder how she'll feel when she does click too - she might feel silly in front of her friends for believing so long, and maybe lose a bit of trust?
    Agree with this... sorry but as hard as it is for us at times for them to grow up, at some point we have to do the right thing by them, put our own feelings aside and guide them as they walk into the inevitable real world rather than trying to shelter them.. it may only cause issues in the long run.


 

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