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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    It's fine to GIVE money. Just not ok to ASK for it in my opinion.

    My kids love choosing presents for their friends birthdays.
    Agree. I remember when I was a kid, there was a table of lollies, homemade crackles, a cake. We ran around playing party games and our gifts to the birthday child were often very small. It was the best.

    Now it's this full scale thing with OTT costs and seen in some cases as almost a money making venture, or at least to get enough for guests to pay for the OTT party. We have family members on the other end of the scale. They have much older kids but still organise family 'parties' every single year which consist of a woolies cake and that's it. Zero wrong with Woolies cakes lol or low key events. But every year we are told to give money, and the teens wander out from their rooms long enough to empty the cash in the cards then wander straight back into their rooms not to be seen again.

    My DD asked them why they still have parties given their age and clear lack of interest. To be told they got $200-300 out of family and that is was worth the annoyance. Nice

  2. #32
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    That makes me cringe. Asking for money, and a book instead of a card- just no. Its completely doing away with the concept of 'its the thought that counts'. Gift giving is a two way street - the etiquette is to always read the card before opening the gift and to treat the card with respect. Not wanting a card at all really makes it all about the 'gimme, gimme' aspect.

    We'll often do home made cards, with a lot of thought put into them. Being told 'forget that, just give us more stuff' is tasteless.

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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post

    I understand where you're coming from and where my guests were coming from but at the end of the day I invited them and I think it was rude for people to ignore a request from someone who had invited them, especially when I had even given an explanation to those who specifically enquired.
    They want to buy your daughter a present. I really don't see what's rude about that. Yes it's YOUR wishes she didn't get one. But they wanted to give her one. To be honest I feel you're being very ungrateful.

  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    They want to buy your daughter a present. I really don't see what's rude about that. Yes it's YOUR wishes she didn't get one. But they wanted to give her one. To be honest I feel you're being very ungrateful.
    It's all very well saying that people want to buy a gift, but other people don't have to live with it. I'd be annoyed if people bought toys/clothes etc. for my kids for the sake of it when I'd specifically asked them not to. They have so many toys and clothes that most things will just end up being donated to op shops anyway. As much as it's a lovely thought to want to give a child something special, nobody who doesn't live in my house has the right to decide what we'll keep in it.

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  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    That makes me cringe. Asking for money, and a book instead of a card- just no. Its completely doing away with the concept of 'its the thought that counts'. Gift giving is a two way street - the etiquette is to always read the card before opening the gift and to treat the card with respect. Not wanting a card at all really makes it all about the 'gimme, gimme' aspect.

    We'll often do home made cards, with a lot of thought put into them. Being told 'forget that, just give us more stuff' is tasteless.
    Yep I actually love the idea of asking for books, a child can never ever have too many. But there is so much dictating here. No card, just a book (which as you say is quite rude as many put lots of effort into cards). No presents, just money.

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  9. #36
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    I think it is AWFUL. For the most part, kids under about 4 dont care too much about what's under the paper. They are soooooo excited for presents. They just want to unwrap and be excited and happy. Asking for money is just robbing them of the experience of having a big mound of presents to dive into. We dont give toys, we give the gifts of anticipation and surprise. Presents, whether they cost $2 or $50 make kids happy. I dont understand a parent deliberately wanting to take away that happiness.

  10. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by zelda View Post
    We dont give toys, we give the gifts of anticipation and surprise.
    I love this. So beautifully put.

    I remember as a kid that was so true.

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  12. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    They want to buy your daughter a present. I really don't see what's rude about that. Yes it's YOUR wishes she didn't get one. But they wanted to give her one. To be honest I feel you're being very ungrateful.
    That's fair enough and you're entitled to your opinion but I stand by what I said. A few weeks ago we were invited to a party for a child and the invite said no gifts please. I didn't take a gift. Sure I may want to give the child a gift but the parent is inviting me and throwing the party and paying for the party and having to store the gifts and at the end of the day it's up to them. It's not about me. It's not like I called anyone up and chided them for bringing a gift or tsk tskd when they turned up with one at the party, I politely said thank you. But this is an anonymous forum and the topic is generally cash/gifts for children's parties and MY OPINION is that asking for cash is fine and if you're asked not to bring a gift then don't. End of. You don't have to agree with me.

  13. #39
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    I see both sides here. I understand that some families live in small places and there simply isn't the room to keep a million toys. I also get that ironically not wanting pressies can be about being against materialism and the greed that asking for money often invokes.

    I really think it's how it's worded. Saying ' X has been lucky enough to have many toys and we simply cannot store anymore. We would just love the gift of your presence' would be a lovely note. Or even 'X has everything she desires so in place of a gift we would love you to donate to Y charity' or 'we value the gift of books and the world they open up in our home, in leui of toys X would love a book instead'. All of those would bring a smile to my face. Instead of:

    'please give x money no toys'. Or 'give x money, and no card but a book instead of card'. That comes across tacky and greedy.

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