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  1. #1
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    Default Is it the new normal to ask for money instead of gifts?

    I have just got an invitation to a child's birthday and they are asking for no gifts only money and no cards a book instead. This is the second invitation asking for money instead of gifts we have received this year, the first asked for money to contribute to going to Taronga Zoo for the boys birthday.

    I only have the one toddler so birthday parties are new to me but is this the done thing now?

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    Never had it in my circle...not sure I like the idea tbh...

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    I personally think asking for money for kids party is rude.

    A book is fine as it is a good toy.

    Where are they taking you for the party.?

    If they are spending more money on party you can buy a nicer gift.

    It's a birthday party not a wedding.

    Butterfly x

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    I have 6 ranging from their early twenties down to 4.
    I have never seen or heard of that. Seems rude to me.

    I have had no gift. Donation to this charity prefered. But never a cash gift only.


    Edited....
    I remembered a 17 year old party that said something along the lines of if you wanted to contribute to her first car than would be a box on the present table for that. But it was optional for a present or gift or whatever.
    Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 04-04-2017 at 18:42.

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    I don't think it's normal, I hope it's not! Seems rude to me. The book request is fine though.

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    IMO this is tacky. They might want money, but a gift is chosen by the giver, hopefully thoughtfully, so that it's something the person would like.
    I don't like invitations where gifts are mentioned at all.
    It's your choice whether to give a gift (although good manners is that a gift would be given) and it's your choice what, and to what value.

    On the flip side, when I'm busy I love the idea of chucking some cash in a card on the way to the party! Difference is that's my choice!

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    So they want cash AND a book?

    I find it rude to be that particular about a child's birthday.

    I hope it's not the new normal

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    Perfectly fine for adults, weddings etc, but it just seems presumptuous for little kids. Are you going to be judged if you only put in $10? That's all some people have to spend.

    It would be Ok if they said something like "little X would love a new bike for his birthday, so if you would like to contribute to that, it would be fantastic" but to just straight out ask for cash is off. No issue with the book though. But even then, asking for a book AND cash? Seems off to me.

    As for asking for money to cover the cost of a party at the zoo, I don't agree with that either. Guests shouldn't be expected to pay for the party! If you can't afford it, don't do it. Or ask people to pay their own entry in lieu of gifts.

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    I'm glad I'm not the only one who feel its a bit tacky. To day when the invitations were handed out at playgroup all the other parents commented how much easier it is just to do cash and not have all the junk. So I left thinking if we get invited to anymore parties I think money will be expected. These children are 2 and under

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    I think it's tacky and it's also makes kids parties feel like a cash grab.

    We often tell people no gifts are required for our kids birthdays (subtly) and they always bring them anyway, which is totally fine. I never want people to feel they have to bring presents. I can't imagine asking people for money!

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