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  1. #1
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    Default Friend's Wedding - 'Wishing Well'? - How does it work?

    I've been invited to an old friends wedding in a couple of weeks. I'm a total wedding nufty - I lived overseas during the 'prime marrying years' of most of my friends and have somehow managed to get to 32 without ever having attended a wedding as an adult.

    The invitation says gifts are not necessary, but if we want to give them something, then there will be a wishing well.

    I assume this means cash. I don't mind at all, it saves me shopping for a gift. Just wondering if anyone can tell me how it works exactly - should I get a nice card in advance and put the money in it, or are there envelopes or something provided at the reception, or is it just an anonymous cash in a bucket type of thing?

    Also, any ideas on what a reasonable amount to give is? Obviously different in all situations but I don't want to be stingy, nor do I want to give away a ridiculous amount of money either!

    Thanks in advance for any advice

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    Whoops, accidentally pressed something while I was doing the title - I do understand punctuation, promise

  3. #3
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    We usually just get a card and write a nice message then put it in an envelope with $50.

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    You generally put money in an envelope with a card.

    Amongst our circle, $100 per couple seems to be the standard.

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    I would pop some cash in a nice card - they'll probably have a box or similar to place it in.

    As for what amount to put in there - that depends on what you can afford. Some folks like to put in the same amount of money they would spend on a gift, some choose more. It often costs guests a lot to attend a wedding in the first place, so I don't think anyone should feel obliged to part with large sums of cash.

    I would *personally* try to gift $100 if it was a really close friend, but otherwise maybe around the $50 mark? I would probably go with $50 if it was the kind of wedding that resulted in us having to spend a reasonable amount to attend (travel, accommodation etc).

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    Thanks all. I was thinking $100 seemed reasonable so will go with that.

    The wedding is only half an hour from home so won't cost us anything to attend (aside from a new dress to cover my baby bump - but that's all on me I guess ).

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    DP and I usually cover the amount per head. $100 usually suffices for us as a couple. Sometimes we'll give a bit more if it's a close family member. We take the card already filled out and with the money in it and just pop it in the well.

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    I recommend using a card that's on the smaller side or at least has a side shorter than the other (I.e not square). Sometimes the slots or parts to put it in are quite small and you may not be able to open it easily to put it in! We had to open the well all the way up once to put the card in.... was so worried people would think we were taking something out of it!

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    Wow, I think I'm being over generous. I thought giving what it costs per head at the reception was the norm. I thought weddings these days were roughly between $100-150 per head, I'm going to have to re-think this next time.

    But I do love wishing wells, just buy a card, write your message & pop in the cash. I miss gift registries though. They still have them but couples already have most things and money never goes out of fashion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AceOfBase View Post
    Wow, I think I'm being over generous. I thought giving what it costs per head at the reception was the norm. I thought weddings these days were roughly between $100-150 per head, I'm going to have to re-think this next time.

    But I do love wishing wells, just buy a card, write your message & pop in the cash. I miss gift registries though. They still have them but couples already have most things and money never goes out of fashion.
    Depending on how close to the couple I am I give dif amounts.

    My immediate family and my closest friends I give $200+ (usually $100 cash and then pay for something on their honeymoon like pre paying a beachside dinner or couples massage....something like that, by finding out where they are staying)

    The remainder get $100-150 (this is joint between me and my partner)

    I don't gauge it by cost of wedding even because some people choose to pay huuuge amounts for their reception and that's their choice, but that shouldn't dictate my spending.

    But for the ones I spend more on, I try to do something personal as well as give cash.


 

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