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  1. #51
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    I am trying to get help! I have been for a long time! I see a psychologist. I had to stop last year after i maxed out my 10 sessions but I'm getting another care plan for this year. I just need to find a new psych who doesn't mind if i bring my DS, or who works weekends.

    So far most of them don't work weekends & won't let me bring DS.

    It's great for all of you who have parents & other family who don't work. Both my parents & in-laws still work full-time, as do siblings. 99% of my friends don't have kids so they still work full-time. The few mummy i have all work different days to me. I can't afford a 4th day of daycare when I'm only getting paid for 3 days work.

    So it's not easy to get help but i am trying. Some of you who have support during the week obviously don't understand what it's like to have none & have to find professionals who are happy for you to bring your child to everything.

    DH is basically running his section cause everyone else left. He can't just take weeks & weeks off work. If he did, he'd also have to take it unpaid & we can't afford that.

    I can't take time off work weekly or fortnightly either. Occasionally is fine, regularly is a problem.

    It's not easy but i am trying. I want to be happy again.

  2. #52
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    @allatsea see how there are two pages of posts about you...it's because people on here care and want to see you get help. You can't see your way around the trial of meds, but you need to go and say to your DH that you need to trial meds because you're not able to enjoy your son like you should and come up with a plan together. There are many things to try...talk to daycare about getting your son in 5 days a week for a few weeks while you adjust (maybe there's a family going on holiday so there'll be space available for your son on the days he doesn't go), that way your days you're not at work you can sleep if need bed. Your DH can talk to his boss and ask to leave early the days you work, so that he can be home to care for your son so you can go straight to bed if need be. It's only for a few weeks while your body adjusts. You've had one lot that didn't agree with you...so you let the doctor know you need something else and you go from there. If there's a will there's a way, and for your DS's sake, you need to make this happen.

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  4. #53
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    How do I pay for 5 days of daycare? We don't get CCB, only the rebate. I only get paid for 3 days work & DH is on a salary so unfortunately gets nothing for constantly working back

    DH has no understanding of anxiety or PND whatsoever & I've never had any luck making him understand. He's basically running his section, he's the only senior one there at the moment until they find more staff, so i don't think he can leave early. He also won't understand why......

  5. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post

    DH is basically running his section cause everyone else left. He can't just take weeks & weeks off work. If he did, he'd also have to take it unpaid & we can't afford that.

    I can't take time off work weekly or fortnightly either. Occasionally is fine, regularly is a problem.

    It's not easy but i am trying. I want to be happy again.
    Unless you are employed casually, you're entitled to paid leave - annual leave, sick leave, carers leave. No one is indispensable. You and DP could plan some leave, and take it.

    OP - make yourself a priority. I know that sounds simplistic, but sometimes, you just have to put yourself and your needs first, not think about all the difficult things that *might* happen. Prioritise yourself. Other things will fall into place.

    Maybe look into occasional care or paid babysitting for a few hours to go to appointments?

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  7. #55
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    Can't your parents help then? I understand that they work full time but if told my mum or dad for that matter I wasn't coping and needed help they'd get sick family/sick/annual leave in a heartbeat.

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  9. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    How do I pay for 5 days of daycare? We don't get CCB, only the rebate. I only get paid for 3 days work & DH is on a salary so unfortunately gets nothing for constantly working back

    DH has no understanding of anxiety or PND whatsoever & I've never had any luck making him understand. He's basically running his section, he's the only senior one there at the moment until they find more staff, so i don't think he can leave early. He also won't understand why......
    I don't get 'help'.

    I start more meds on Friday. I have 2 kids. They are 4 and almost 1. I have side effects. DH will be at work. I have the weekend to get over the worst of it.

    So, why do you not use your weekend?

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  11. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3bubbys View Post
    Can't your parents help then? I understand that they work full time but if told my mum or dad for that matter I wasn't coping and needed help they'd get sick family/sick/annual leave in a heartbeat.
    My parents don't understand anxiety. They are of the 'toughen up & get over it' mentality.


    And yes hubby is entitled to paid leave, if he has it - he hasn't been with that company very long & hasn't accrued much leave yet. So yes, most of it would have to be unpaid.


    How do I find a babysitter? I'm not using a random i found on Facebook. None of the daycare girls do it, I've asked. No-one i know can recommend a baby sitter as none of them need one - they all have retired parents who can help.

  12. #58
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    A quick google search has thrown up 5 pysch clinics on the first page in Bris (I think this is where you are located) that offer evening and weekend appointments. I would really try not to take your DS as you need to to be able to focus at these sessions.

    If there is occasional care near you this may also be an option on one of your days off, as its cheap, and 2 hours of occasional care will hopefully get you to a 1 hour appointment and back before the time runs out. As you are now driving you can take advantage of things like this. If you can book all your appointments in advance also do this at the start as then you have secured appointments that work for you around work and child commitments.

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  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    How do I pay for 5 days of daycare? We don't get CCB, only the rebate. I only get paid for 3 days work & DH is on a salary so unfortunately gets nothing for constantly working back

    DH has no understanding of anxiety or PND whatsoever & I've never had any luck making him understand. He's basically running his section, he's the only senior one there at the moment until they find more staff, so i don't think he can leave early. He also won't understand why......
    Is maybe staying at home and not working for a while an option till you work this all out?

    I think at some point you and your DH have to think about what's the top priority at this point in time.

  15. #60
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    I think we are all all trying to help, whether you see that or not.

    We just get frustrated because whatever we suggest is an impossible option, whether it be strategies for your LO or for yourself.

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