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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lilahh View Post
    We also use noise cancelling headphones to listen to calming music.
    Off topic, but I hope you're not using them as a driver? I understand a screaming child isn't conducive to concentration (both mine hated the car too when they were little until I FF faced them at 6 months and screamed everywhere we went even on 3 hour trips to the city) but they are very dangerous to wear while driving and I'm pretty sure illegal to use as a driver. If an emergency vehicle needs to get past you, you need to be able to hear them coming and move out of the way.

    OP, as others have said, he was being a happy normal little boy. I'm sorry, but he is not the problem. Your untreated anxiety is. This is true for all your threads. Until you get some effective treatment for yourself, things will not get better. And he will figure it out when he gets older and it will damage your relationship with him. Please listen to the people on here giving you advice. Especially those posters with anxiety. They are only trying to help you. Stop shooting down the advice, and be willing to try some of the suggestions offered. Until you make some changes in yourself, nothing will change with how difficult you find your child.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Californication View Post
    Off topic, but I hope you're not using them as a driver? I understand a screaming child isn't conducive to concentration (both mine hated the car too when they were little until I FF faced them at 6 months and screamed everywhere we went even on 3 hour trips to the city) but they are very dangerous to wear while driving and I'm pretty sure illegal to use as a driver. If an emergency vehicle needs to get past you, you need to be able to hear them coming and move out of the way.

    OP, as others have said, he was being a happy normal little boy. I'm sorry, but he is not the problem. Your untreated anxiety is. This is true for all your threads. Until you get some effective treatment for yourself, things will not get better. And he will figure it out when he gets older and it will damage your relationship with him. Please listen to the people on here giving you advice. Especially those posters with anxiety. They are only trying to help you. Stop shooting down the advice, and be willing to try some of the suggestions offered. Until you make some changes in yourself, nothing will change with how difficult you find your child.
    I would also be worried about using something like that. You wouldn't be able to hear a car horn warning you of impending collision? I often think the same thing when I see people driving with their earphones in, but I suppose that would depend on how loud the music is. I can't think of anything worse when driving than taking away my ability to hear (well I suppose except my ability to see!).

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  5. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I have also asked multiple times if the OP is on meds to not be answered, and there is zero judgment on that bc I'm on them for my anxiety.

    I really have to agree with the others. Once again, this is normal toddler behaviour. Totally 100% normal. The issue here, and always has been, your anxiety and unrealistic expectations for your child. Nothing is ever going to change until you have insight into what is causing all of this. All that will happen is that you continue to hate parenting and you child grows to know you hate it.

    You need to get on meds ASAP OP. And if you are medicated it's time to change meds. As I've told you before, my husband also has bad anxiety and went through SIX different brands before he found Effexor worked for him. I'm trying not to be blunt, but we have all said the same things over and over. Rather than taking offence and not coming back, DO something about it. LISTEN to what we are saying to you - many of us have anxiety. It's debilitating, I get it bc I have it too, just different triggers. But until you get your meds under control and adjust your expectations your life and parenting experiences are just going to be Groundhog Day.
    She has said in a previous thread that she isnt currently taking anything. This may have changed.

  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    She has said in a previous thread that she isnt currently taking anything. This may have changed.
    Yes I remember quite some time ago she said she wasn't but since she has returned I thought she may have.

  7. #35
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    Default Driving after phobia - little driving experience & dealing with toddler yelli...

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Yes I remember quite some time ago she said she wasn't but since she has returned I thought she may have.
    No, a couple weeks ago she said she wasn't.

    I would like to say ladies, thanks for not attacking me for being harsh, I did feel bad doing it but felt I needed to be blunt and just come right out and ask.

    OP, I'm fairly certain you don't read my comments, or just choose to ignore, even when I am being supportive. And I am sorry if you do feel I am mean to you. I see a lot of my own inner anxiety in your posts, I think a lot of us with pnd and anxiety do. So I can truly relate to how you are feeling. But the thing is, your posts have genuinely not changed since you were pregnant, it's really sad to see and I am starting to feel like you have no interest in changing. I hope I'm wrong and you find a psychiatrist you feel works for you and find some meds that help you feel calmer inside. I'm medicated, my anxiety isn't cured but the meds definitely take the edge off enough to allow me to be more patient and see a situation for what it really is and more often than not not be ruled by my anxiety.

    Nobody loves anybody as much as a young child loves their mommy. I think your son's behavior is completely normal, both as a typical toddler and as a small child reacting to their mother's anxiety and behavior. It's not his job to change to make your life easier in regards to your anxiety. It's your job to change so that you can cope with his very normal behavior and development. Stop making everything his fault and about you, eventually he's going to catch on to what you are doing and your relationship will suffer because of it.

    I would love to see a positive post from you in the future. I hope that becomes possible for you.

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  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    No, a couple weeks ago she said she wasn't.
    Ahhh ok, I didn't see it. As an anxiety sufferer myself, I feel frustated seeing someone that has worse anxiety than me, not medicated. Please OP, see your Psych or dr for some AD's. They do work.

    I'm medicated, my anxiety isn't cured but the meds definitely take the edge off enough to allow me to be more patient and see a situation for what it really is and more often than not not be ruled by my anxiety.
    Yes! And I describe it in a similar way. I'll always have anxiety, but the Cymbalta flattens it out. Where a situation may have had me in a complete tailspin on the verge of a full blown anxiety attack, on meds I'll get angsty and stressed but I can handle it.

    Nobody loves anybody as much as a young child loves their mommy. I think your son's behavior is completely normal, both as a typical toddler and as a small child reacting to their mother's anxiety and behavior. It's not his job to change to make your life easier in regards to your anxiety. It's your job to change so that you can cope with his very normal behavior and development. Stop making everything his fault and about you, eventually he's going to catch on to what you are doing and your relationship will suffer because of it.

    I would love to see a positive post from you in the future. I hope that becomes possible for you.
    And this is what I was alluding to earlier. He's going to pick up on the fact the OP hates being a parent and expects him to change rather than control her anxiety and it's going to damage their relationship. Sorry to multi quote you, but what you've said is so right on. Maybe it's that you are a fellow anxiety sufferer who is medicated as I am and therefore has insight.

    OP - believe it or not, you have a supportive bunch here. We want you to get control of your anxiety and finally enjoy your son. Sometimes the best advice you'll ever receive is that which you don't want to take on board. Because it's true and insightful. But that advice is far more beneficial to you than simply telling you what you want to hear.

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  11. #37
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    This is not about driving but this is anxiety related.

    DD started childcare today. I have been anxious and stressed the last week or two.

    Today I dropped DS off in his room first as I was going to sit with DD for an hour or two. DS was sad and did not want me to leave.

    Similarly on pickup he claimed he felt 'funny' and was very clingy. And also said no to cupcakes from afternoon tea.

    Pretty much my anxiety and stress was picked up by DS. I have always tried to be positive around him but he still picked it up.

    So my point is that in any situation where you become anxious or stressed it can affect your DS and his behaviour.

    I am off to the dr tomorrow for review of anxiety and meds. I know I need to do it now as it affects DS and DD.

    Also, you have mentioned there is no traffic light crossing to walk - is there a traffic island? Or unsignalled crossing? Because I would walk rather than drive.

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  13. #38
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    I don't know the OP's history so please don't slam me for saying this but I'm confused about the focus on her taking medication? Surely that is a decision made with her gp/ psych? I have a driving phobia, mild anxiety and on/off depression. I've talked to my gp and seen 3 psychologists and never has anyone suggested I need to be medicated for my issues. Getting over mental health issues is a process. Maybe the OP is making progress in some areas but comes here for advice or just to vent when she's struggling?
    OP I've no real advice on the driving but i can empathise. I've had my full license for about 3 years but still barely leave my suburb. Once you get used to this drive you do frequently you might find you can zone out any noise. We listen to kids songs, but I find when my 10 & 8 year old start fighting in traffic I feel very stressed. People who have no issues with driving will never understand what it's like. I also put my phone onto flight mode and give to dd2 to watch peppa pig. If you double click the home button you can set an access code and then he can't get into anything else.

  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I don't know the OP's history so please don't slam me for saying this but I'm confused about the focus on her taking medication? Surely that is a decision made with her gp/ psych? I have a driving phobia, mild anxiety and on/off depression. I've talked to my gp and seen 3 psychologists and never has anyone suggested I need to be medicated for my issues. Getting over mental health issues is a process. Maybe the OP is making progress in some areas but comes here for advice or just to vent when she's struggling?
    OP I've no real advice on the driving but i can empathise. I've had my full license for about 3 years but still barely leave my suburb. Once you get used to this drive you do frequently you might find you can zone out any noise. We listen to kids songs, but I find when my 10 & 8 year old start fighting in traffic I feel very stressed. People who have no issues with driving will never understand what it's like. I also put my phone onto flight mode and give to dd2 to watch peppa pig. If you double click the home button you can set an access code and then he can't get into anything else.
    There is a long history here and many of us have tried to help but to no avail. Something is tried a few times and given up quickly.

    We all hope she finds the help she needs to deal with her anxiety as nothing as yet seems to work. Hence why suggestion of medication has been raised.

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    I don't know the OP's history so please don't slam me for saying this but I'm confused about the focus on her taking medication? Surely that is a decision made with her gp/ psych? I have a driving phobia, mild anxiety and on/off depression. I've talked to my gp and seen 3 psychologists and never has anyone suggested I need to be medicated for my issues. Getting over mental health issues is a process. Maybe the OP is making progress in some areas but comes here for advice or just to vent when she's struggling?
    That history is the reason people are replying as they are. Some people don't need meds, they can manage their anxiety and/or depression with counselling/exercise/yoga. Others do need it. The OP has been starting these sort of threads for around 3 years on and off, nothing has changed despite a million different suggestions and angles. If a member on here started umpteen threads saying how sick she was from not taking meds despite being type 1 diabetic, would you tell her to go to the dr and get insulin? How is physical health different to mental health? Furthermore, if YOU were T1 & correctly medicated with insulin, would you tell her to go get meds?

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