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  1. #21
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    I'm 38 and after finishing my final OE ivf cycle in December I'm now completely lost.
    I don't think anything can prepare you for what happens when you finish. When you have steps in place and they explode out of your control.
    When you have no control over anything.
    Making plans everyone says, that will move you forward.
    What if you can't move forward and can't go back? I hate infertility.

  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Tinachris For This Useful Post:

    Caesardust  (02-04-2017),calypso75  (02-04-2017),Charlie74  (02-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (02-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017)

  3. #22
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    I hate that still not having my own children even after doing IVF has made me so sad & envious of others who have them. Even my own sister.
    I hate that every time my sister gets pregnant it feels like I'll have a mental breakdown trying to deal with her fertility & my infertility..
    I hate that doing IVF with no happy ending this far, has robbed me of only feeling happiness & joy when I look at my sweet little niece. Instead I find myself feeling sad & hopeless bcos looking at her & loving her so much is a reminder of what might never be for us..

    Previous IVF cycles I've coped with pretty well, but I've just started a cycle yesterday & already today I've been balling my eyes out bcos really it feels like an exercise in futility.

    When ur young you definitely don't ever imagine that this is where your life will take you.. You just assume you'll do normal stuff like having a family.. No one ever warns u that not everyone is so lucky.

  4. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Charlie74 For This Useful Post:

    Caesardust  (02-04-2017),calypso75  (02-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (02-04-2017),loveland  (02-04-2017),Minniemin  (08-04-2017),Simil  (17-05-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017),Tinachris  (03-04-2017)

  5. #23
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    I'm the same @Charlie74
    I am just the same.
    Niece newly born as well..

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    Caesardust  (02-04-2017),Charlie74  (03-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (02-04-2017),Minniemin  (08-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017)

  7. #24
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    @Charlie74 and @Tinachris my third niece is due this week...

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to skeeter For This Useful Post:

    Caesardust  (02-04-2017),Charlie74  (03-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017),Tinachris  (03-04-2017)

  9. #25
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    Hugs @skeeter

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    Summer  (02-04-2017)

  11. #26
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    Default The off load IVF page

    Big hugs @skeeter. Were your precious twins due around now? I think I remember you saying that your sister in law was due just before you.

    Big hugs also to hairy taco. It is such a **** journey and even ****tier that not everyone gets there. Even donor eggs isn't necessarily a magical cure as that is a 60% success rate. I was where you were a few months ago. If you are moving on, whilst the pain doesn't lessen, it does change shape and you can go through a day where it doesn't consume your every waking thought

  12. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to calypso75 For This Useful Post:

    Caesardust  (03-04-2017),Charlie74  (03-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (03-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017),Tinachris  (03-04-2017)

  13. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caesardust View Post
    Hi everyone. I haven't been on bh for quite some time but I feel like this thread is a good one for me at the moment.

    I'm 39 and I've done 4 stims, 3 fets (oe) and 1 de cycle in South Africa and not a whiff of a pregnancy. I'm about to embark on my final Cape Town cycle with a new donor, new immune protocol and absolutely not one ounce of hope left. I honestly cannot even believe it will work which makes me wonder why I even bother.

    I have accessed my super twice, borrowed and begged for money and we have not had much of a life for the last couple of years.

    Ivf and the whole journey makes me so angry/sad/dejected/despondent and knowing that we will probably end up with no baby, broke and broken inside is a reality we have to face.

    It's nice and well for people to say get on with your life and focus on the other great things in life when you can't afford anything but 2min noodles and Netflix anymore.

    I have no positivity left. I'm one of the unlucky ones no one talks about.
    Hi darling, I'm also one of the unlucky ones & I'm so sorry to hear that you're in such a terrible space, but I can completely relate.

    After 4 miscarriages of 5 babies between 6-10 weeks, & 5 chems (all natural), 6 x IVF cycles that didn't produce more than 1 egg so never got to EPU & a BFN from an overseas DE cycle, I'm done.

    I still have 7 AA frosties overseas but my husband & I have made the decision to walk away. We can't face any more & the drugs make me so sick that my GP is worried that they may kill me. I've done every test, been on massive doses of all the immune meds & have had four expert doctors working with me to try to help me have a baby.

    But there's no happy ending for me. It's all over. 4 years & about $75000 down the drain & nothing to show for it except a completely broken woman.

  14. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Summer For This Useful Post:

    Applemummy  (03-04-2017),Caesardust  (03-04-2017),calypso75  (05-04-2017),Charlie74  (03-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (03-04-2017),kuwtk  (04-05-2017),loveland  (03-04-2017),Minniemin  (08-04-2017),Phia  (09-04-2017),Simil  (17-05-2017),Tinachris  (03-04-2017),ToBeThree  (10-05-2017)

  15. #28
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    @calypso75 I was due May 9th, but was expecting to have them early in April, just after my sister in law. We were going to go to the same hospital and joked it would happen at the same time and family could run from room to room.. .

  16. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to skeeter For This Useful Post:

    calypso75  (05-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (03-04-2017),kuwtk  (04-05-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017),Tinachris  (03-04-2017)

  17. #29
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    @Summer *hugs*

  18. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to skeeter For This Useful Post:

    Chocolate Rain  (03-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017),Tinachris  (03-04-2017)

  19. #30
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    big hugs @calypso75 @Summer @skeeter @Charlie74 xoxoxo

  20. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Tinachris For This Useful Post:

    Caesardust  (03-04-2017),calypso75  (05-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (03-04-2017)


 

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