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  1. #11
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    I haven't bothered to do a signature. I didn't know there was a limit but it would just depress me seeing it all typed out.

    My rant is that not everybody gets there. I know people mean well but I hate hearing "you will get there". Statistically I won't.

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  3. #12
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    I am here too. Thanks for the thread.

    Had a fight with DP and busted some tears. I feel I am like a bloated moody balloon, small thing can make me so angry and exploded.

    I must be allergic to either puregon or organultre(?). My belly is so itchy and red and my face is swallowing.

    So far not so good. Unpredictable journey ahead.

    Didn't tell my friends or family that I am doing ivf. I don't need ppl don't understand this to judge me or offer me sympathy. I am so odd and full of negativity now. When is the end of this?

    Prob shouldn't complain, I am still new to the ivf Hell. Just so need somewhere to talk to and unload.

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    Chocolate Rain  (18-03-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017)

  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild Rose View Post
    I haven't bothered to do a signature. I didn't know there was a limit but it would just depress me seeing it all typed out.

    My rant is that not everybody gets there. I know people mean well but I hate hearing "you will get there". Statistically I won't.
    I agree with this. People seem to assume that if you do IVF enough times then eventually it will work. Well I am now on cycle 14 (7 stims and some FET's) and no luck so far. I am 5dp 3dt so not sure of the outcome but not holding out much hope. If IVF didn't work for me when I started it at age 32 then I'm not very confident it will work for me now at age 36. One way or another we will be moving on from IVF in 2017. I prefer to say 'moving on' rather than 'quitting' or 'giving up' because these terms seem to imply that I still have a chance to make it happen but perhaps don't want it bad enough when that is not the case at all. Best of luck to all you wonderful and brave ladies on this journey xo

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    Applemummy  (18-03-2017),Caesardust  (02-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (18-03-2017),kuwtk  (04-05-2017),Minniemin  (08-04-2017),Phia  (19-03-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017)

  7. #14
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    Hi Ladies it's nice to have a place to rant. Hugs to you all.

    5 long years of TTC for me. 2 IUI's, 4 stim cycles & 2 FET's and I've never had a hint of a pregnancy in all that time.

    IVF has left me feeling very old and bitter. I'm really struggling to find the will to keep fighting for something that seems so far out of reach.

    I'm sorry for the loss of your babies @skeeter. Very very sad.

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    Applemummy  (18-03-2017),Charlie74  (02-04-2017),Phia  (19-03-2017),ShannyAnny  (18-03-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017)

  9. #15
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    Sorry to those who are still trying, I don't mean to be insensitive, but I hate that I feel IVF has robbed me of the ability to enjoy pregnancy.

    It's a long wait full of constant fear of something going wrong, and it's difficult to relax at any point along the way. I am so envious of those women who get to conceive naturally, get surprised by pregnancy, are blissful throughout and can simply "try again" if things don't work out. I'm not suggesting that the loss of babies conceived naturally aren't devastating for those parents, but one of my most crippling fears is if my current pregnancy doesn't end in the safe delivery of a healthy baby we have no more embryos and do not have the financial means to do another cycle!

    With my first I was quite angry that I couldn't experience anything as intended. We needed IVF, I had to have a c-section, and I had a low supply of breastmilk so ended up going through a big struggle and eventually formula feeding. I was also ridiculously paranoid about SIDS during her first 6 months, so that I don't feel I got to enjoy my newborn as much as I could have done if it was easier to have children.

    While I am so incredibly grateful for all the technology and medical science which has enabled me to become a parent, I feel pretty ripped off I couldn't have the "standard" life experience and my family isn't able to do other things because of the debt this process has left us with, and how much further the implications of needing IVF reach than everything we go through just to get the BFP.

    Again, I apologise if this post upsets anyone who is still trying, I wish you nothing but the best of luck x

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  11. #16
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    Default The off load IVF page

    Wow. I fell naturally with my daughter 14 years ago. I was desperately ill with HG. The entire pregnancy. 9 months. Hospitalised constantly, marriage broke down because of it.
    Lost "mutual" friends. Many friends.
    No regrets
    Here I am trying again!!!
    Last edited by loveland; 20-03-2017 at 12:03.

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  13. #17
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    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Bump for mermaid ***

  14. #18
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    Hi everyone. I haven't been on bh for quite some time but I feel like this thread is a good one for me at the moment.

    I'm 39 and I've done 4 stims, 3 fets (oe) and 1 de cycle in South Africa and not a whiff of a pregnancy. I'm about to embark on my final Cape Town cycle with a new donor, new immune protocol and absolutely not one ounce of hope left. I honestly cannot even believe it will work which makes me wonder why I even bother.

    I have accessed my super twice, borrowed and begged for money and we have not had much of a life for the last couple of years.

    Ivf and the whole journey makes me so angry/sad/dejected/despondent and knowing that we will probably end up with no baby, broke and broken inside is a reality we have to face.

    It's nice and well for people to say get on with your life and focus on the other great things in life when you can't afford anything but 2min noodles and Netflix anymore.

    I have no positivity left. I'm one of the unlucky ones no one talks about.

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    Applemummy  (03-04-2017),calypso75  (02-04-2017),Charlie74  (02-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (02-04-2017),kuwtk  (04-05-2017),loveland  (02-04-2017),Minniemin  (08-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017),Wild Rose  (02-04-2017)

  16. #19
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    It truly is such a soul destroying journey for so many. My partner and I are feeling much the same at the moment. So much hope is put into each cycle with no control over the outcome.
    Best of luck with everything x

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    Caesardust  (02-04-2017),Chocolate Rain  (02-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017)

  18. #20
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    @Caesardust I can relate a little. Everyone tells you that you have to be positive, but you just don't have any positivity left. As I said to someone the other day, life really is full of poop.I hope with everything that I have that you are successful this time...

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    Caesardust  (02-04-2017),Charlie74  (02-04-2017),loveland  (02-04-2017),Summer  (02-04-2017)


 

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