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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by AceOfBase View Post
    Thank you all for your replies, it really means a lot. I’ve been saying from the start for DH to stay in his flying job. We can get by with his current wage, plus I’ll be going back to part-time work in a few months when I finish maternity leave. I prefer him to be happy over the money. I know my DH better than anyone and he would be miserable in his old office job. Been there, done that. I can’t believe he would even consider leaving after he’s been dreaming of becoming a pilot since he was 12, that’s nearly 30 years! He’s only been at the job for 3 years, so he is considered a junior which is why the pay is low. He would love to get promoted but this may take time, especially if there are other junior pilots who have been there longer than him. I remember him coming home from his office job saying that he would look out the window and get frustrated looking at the planes fly in the sky whilst he is stuck behind his PC. His office job was stressful and full on, but the people were good though, he’s kept in contact with a few of them.

    He has it in his head that if he leaves he can’t go back to flying. I don’t know how true this is. It is a competitive industry but he got in once I can’t understand why he couldn’t get in again in the future. Maybe he’s saying it’s impossible as a way to justify him staying and not returning to his office job. He’s so torn.

    But I get the whole lifestyle thing too. Today is a good example, he left home at 5am and is due home around 10pm. He also goes away with work, usually just overnight and other times 2 nights. Not every day is like this though. Yesterday he was on call and because he wasn’t needed he was able to spend the day with us.

    We are not silly with money, we get by without having to travel all the time or buy new cars, etc. DS1 will be going to high school next year, possibly at a non-government school and with DS2 going to childcare we will have some expenses coming up but I really believe it’s achievable on his current wage

    I can’t wait for DH to come home and for me to share your replies with him. Hearing your experiences, whether it’s been yourself or your parents’ careers, it’s such a wonderful insight. I truly thank you for sharing. He needs to make a decision soon, so reading your feedback will hopefully help him out, cos it’s driving him (and me) crazy
    Based on what you've said here I would stay with the pilot job. He enjoys it and the money is enough to get by and it will hopefully increase as time goes on.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bezzy For This Useful Post:

    AceOfBase  (17-03-2017),Little Miss Sunshine  (18-03-2017)

  3. #22
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    From one aviation widow to another, I would encourage him to stay. There is just something about the passion that pilots have that means they really are only happy when they fly.

    We have had similar discussions but always come up with him sticking to flying. We are however lucky that I have a very well paid job and so money isn't really an issue. However the juggle of my career and DHs flying can be difficult as neither is very family friendly, but we are both happy in our careers and that makes the juggle worth it.

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    AceOfBase  (17-03-2017)

  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by bezzy View Post
    Based on what you've said here I would stay with the pilot job. He enjoys it and the money is enough to get by and it will hopefully increase as time goes on.
    This is exactly what I'm feeling, just have to see what DH finally decides now ......

  6. #24
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    And best of luck @gingermillie, @frankie46 & @Ruby_Tuesday15 (I hope I didn't miss anyone) on your decisions too xxxx

  7. #25
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    Thank you @misho & @DJ Nette on your perspectives on the actual flying part. I did laugh at aviation widow, it can feel like that at times. And we haven't taken advantage of the cheap flights yet but that is a bonus .

    I have not come across anyone as passionate about their jobs as pilots are. I mean, of course there must be, but there is just something about a pilots passion that is indescribable, I get it. Flying is their happiness. This is why I'm encouraging DH to stick with it, I don't want to be a dreamkiller, so if he chooses money I never want to hear about flying again

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  9. #26
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    DH has read all the replies so far and is very thankful that you've taken the time to share your thoughts. I will keep you posted on his decision. He has a lot to think about.

    Your parents sound amazing @Full House, especially the story of your dad. I'm glad he likes his current job, I hope he doesn't get made redundant

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  11. #27
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    I haven't read all comments. Happiness, always.

    When it comes to the family though, that means the happiness of everyone. It's hard to judge. Which situation would lead to the most enjoyable life for you all, on balance. So many variables.

    I'm a bit on the other side to this. My DH runs his own business, has done for more than 10 years. It's not very profitable, and it's incredibly time consuming. If he were to use his skills in a position working for someone else, he would earn at least 3 times what he does. He'd lose some of his flexibility, but the hours and overall stress would be lower too. I could never make him choose that though. Not unless we were in dire need (about to lose the house, huge medical expenses etc.). It's what he wants to do with his life, and I couldn't be responsible for standing in the way of that.

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by AceOfBase View Post
    DH has read all the replies so far and is very thankful that you've taken the time to share your thoughts. I will keep you posted on his decision. He has a lot to think about.

    Your parents sound amazing @Full House, especially the story of your dad. I'm glad he likes his current job, I hope he doesn't get made redundant
    They are. I hope my dad keeps his job, too...but he says he'd rather be made redundant over a 30/40 year old still decades away from retirement. So, there's a 90% chance he'll be gone this year.
    Good luck to your DH in making his decision.

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  15. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    I haven't read all comments. Happiness, always.

    When it comes to the family though, that means the happiness of everyone. It's hard to judge. Which situation would lead to the most enjoyable life for you all, on balance. So many variables.

    I'm a bit on the other side to this. My DH runs his own business, has done for more than 10 years. It's not very profitable, and it's incredibly time consuming. If he were to use his skills in a position working for someone else, he would earn at least 3 times what he does. He'd lose some of his flexibility, but the hours and overall stress would be lower too. I could never make him choose that though. Not unless we were in dire need (about to lose the house, huge medical expenses etc.). It's what he wants to do with his life, and I couldn't be responsible for standing in the way of that.
    DH and I did make the decision to give up his own business in his "passion" field, but not til we'd tried everything to make it work. It was a competitive/sport type industry and no matter how "successful" he was, even with me working, we were only just getting by financially. He was working up to 100 hours a week and his income was around $20k PA.

    So while he was happy with his career field, he was unhappy because we would never be able to buy a house (or even rent somewhere particularly nice) with his scant income (something he was also passionate about). And the hours he did meant that I needed to stick to part time to keep the cogs turning at home. So it was a real bind and he had to walk away from it after a few years.

    OP, given that he's already been on the lower wage for 3 years, it doesn't sound like you're in an awful financial situation. If the good money is "extra", eg. you can still pay the mortgage, feed and clothe everyone and afford a modest holiday once a year, then he should not return to the soul destroying $$ job.

    I'm a teacher though and there are a lot of '2nd career' teachers like me who had the job with great pay but nil job satisfaction, and take our lower paid teaching career because you cannot put a price on feeling good about what you do. So I'm clearly skewed away from chasing the $$.

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    AceOfBase  (18-03-2017)

  17. #30
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    Haven't read other replies

    In your case I would go back to the office job. Purely because the hours are more family friendly (this is the most important factor in our family!) and the extra money- a big bonus and also very important.

    Can he still fly as a hobby? Maybe this could be a compromise?

    Oh and I always assumed being an airline pilot was very, very well paid?! It should be!!

    Good luck with your decision. It doesn't sound easy

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