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  1. #21
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    It sounds real to me. I know my half siblings on my fathers side are manipulated constantly by my fathers ex wife. The OP did post a response to this thread earlier on in the thread, but I think there have been so many passionate posts since she probably hasn't yet noticed? I dunno, I'm just putting myself in her shoes and remembering when I first joined BH I wasn't on everyday. Until my TTC journey became such that I came to sort of depend the support from all the stories and chats from all you wonderful women.

    To @pinelime, I think moving interstate and being clear about your goals as a couple are going to be really important here. To really break free of them though I do believe that your DH needs therapy to have some closure and eradicate the guilt. The therapist will be able to build in daily strategies to help him to deal with the codependent relationship his parents seem to have thrust upon him. It is total manipulation and I am sorry you and your partner are going through this. Don't ever let anyone stop you from fulfilling your dreams. Good luck.

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    Lanabananah  (17-03-2017)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanabananah View Post
    I feel super bad for this, and Im super supportive of the OP if this is real, but I'm getting to be so cynical of potentially decisive posts being done by new people who don't come back online to update.

    I think the responses have all been supportive so it's an epic fail if it was a trolling post but I don't think it is.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phony View Post
    I think the responses have all been supportive so it's an epic fail if it was a trolling post but I don't think it is.
    That's a very valid point.

    It has surprised me and made me sad with how many people have said they have similar situations.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (17-03-2017),Phony  (21-03-2017)

  6. #24
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    Default We had decided to ttc.. but MIL has just announced she is pregnant..

    Quote Originally Posted by Lanabananah View Post
    I feel super bad for this, and Im super supportive of the OP if this is real, but I'm getting to be so cynical of potentially decisive posts being done by new people who don't come back online to update.

    I know people May not come online everyday and that this isn't a typical topic to have some one troll with, but it's really interesting and the longer it goes without an update the more unsure I get. Probably come down to me being impatient and nosy though I
    Yep.

    Nothing worse than one thread wonders that don't acknowledge responses.

    Sorry to sidetrack.

    (Sorry op if you are genuine and want to reply, please prove me wrong)
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 17-03-2017 at 21:33.

  7. #25
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    Default Thanks

    Thank you to all the lovely heart felt replies- especially to those who shared their own experiences.. I have been frequently reading and taking on board all the sage advice that has been given, as well as doing my own thinking on the matter. Apologies I haven't replied sooner, to be perfectly honest I haven't been able to find the words to reply to all the wonderful mums who have taken time to reply. I'm aware this situation sounds straight out of a soap opera....I tried googling for real life stories when I first found out but I could only find one or two! Then all the other results auto corrected mother in law to sister in law! Yup - that's when I really knew it was weird and not just me being a drama queen!

    Apologies I am going to have extremely patchy internet over the next few weeks so I may not reply much (if at all) during that time. I have in fact been without internet for much of the last 24 hours.

    Discussion with my partner are ongoing, as I need to be sure he will be able to seperate our child from his sibling... But I'm hopefully we shall continue with our plans to ttc!

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    3bubbys  (18-03-2017),Phony  (21-03-2017)

  9. #26
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    They sound very narcissistic. And exactly like my MIL who we had to cut off years ago. Actually she cut herself off I should say. After years of abuse & selfish, aggressive and manipulative behavior we tried to put boundaries in place which she did not like at all, she hasn't even bothered to meet her second granddaughter who is almost 3.

    Your hubby's first priority is you and the family you make together. His family should respect and support this and be happy for him. Anything less is emotional abuse.

  10. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3bubbys View Post
    Pine lime, your inlaws sound just like mine.

    They have 11 children and truly believe that because they brought them up, they now deserve to be compensated.

    Their rent is paid by their kids, they ask for money becuasue they are broke then use it to go on holiday.

    If the kids protest, FIL will say things like 'who drove you to footy all those years' and 'who saved you from drowning that day' they are awful.

    Funnily enough most of the children still support their parents in some way even though they have families of their own.

    My husband stopped talking to his parents years ago and has no regrets, yes it's sad but he can't stand the way his siblings are treated. It hasn't affected his relationship with his siblings which he is thankful for.

    Good luck to you and your husband. I know how tough it is. But he needs to put you first, he's done more than enough for them.
    My mil used this reasoning with my husband.

    You do all those things as a parent out of love and responsibility, not because you expect something in return and try and emotionally blackmail your own children for the rest of their lives. I think that's downright disgusting.

  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    My mil used this reasoning with my husband.

    You do all those things as a parent out of love and responsibility, not because you expect something in return and try and emotionally blackmail your own children for the rest of their lives. I think that's downright disgusting.
    I know! Ridiculous


 

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