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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    He was trying to jump off it onto the tiles, so i was concerned about him hurting himself, it's a decent height




    Edit - anyway now I've given up for the afternoon & I'm rewarding his bad behaviour with tv.
    You aren't rewarding anything, you are doing what you need to to get through the day.
    Everything isn't win or lose.
    I am sure he is just over tired and over stimulated.
    Also, if he jumps and hurts himself yeah it isn't great but he won't do it again.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    We went straight from misbehaving to TV though, so won't he make the connection that 'ok if i muck around i get extra TV every day!'? Hes pretty smart
    No he won't, because he's a smart 2 year old, not a genius. Even if he was a genius I still don't think he could make that connection at 2 years old.
    Kids don't think like adults do.
    Last edited by Full House; 16-03-2017 at 18:53.

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  5. #53
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    Default Laughing at me/caregiver when told off for misbehaving

    I think you need to pick your battles. Telling him once that it's not good for him to climb onto the table because he could hurt himself. Then walk away. I think your son knows you're going to follow him around everywhere so he thinks it's a game. Ignore and see what happens. Praise him when he gets off the table or thank him for getting down.

  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    Thanks all. What are good consequences i can use for things like throwing his shoe at me?

    He did it because i asked him 4 times to take them off, then i told him to take them off. He doesn't like being told to do things so he took it off & threw it at me.

    I told him very firmly that we don't throw shoes at people & immediately put the shoes away.

    He didn't seem to care at all & loosing the shoes had no effect as he wasn't playing with them anyway. I had trouble thinking of a consequence for that.
    If that were me (and my ds3 who just turned 3 regularly does this), I'd leave the shoes where they are and tell him that if he doesn't put them away nicely, then he would have to sit in the naughty corner.
    Guarantee he'd move very fast to get that done.

    If you don't think that time out or what not would work, tell him that he won't go to the park.

    Sticker charts/ stamps etc don't work for us at this age, they started to become effective around 4 - 4.5.
    Ps my kids all try to move from time out 100 times - but I put them back over and over again until they figure it out.

    I know some think that that time out is punitive (as opposed to positive reinforcement), but some kids really do respond to it.

    The key is that you can't give up.

    You're the adult - not him.

    Just because he screams and complains does not mean that it's hurting him. To me your little boy sounds like he would thrive with consistent boundaries & routine.

  7. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    We went straight from misbehaving to TV though, so won't he make the connection that 'ok if i muck around i get extra TV every day!'? Hes pretty smart
    You're also giving yourself a break - think of it that way.

    And if he enjoys tv - then that is your currency. When he's cheeky you can tell him that if he is good, he can watch tv, if not, tv goes off.

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  9. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    I guess I'm just not cut out to be a parent
    Sweetheart, don't be so catastrophic.

    We all suck at some stage. But you work your way through it.

    My ds1 7yo recently decided to start laughing at me when he got in trouble. That was great fun trying to figure out how to stop that.

    And as I type this, my 3yo is climbing on top of my head and has knocked over my ironing grrrr.

    Stuff happens, you just gotta roll with it and get through it.

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  11. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    We went straight from misbehaving to TV though, so won't he make the connection that 'ok if i muck around i get extra TV every day!'? Hes pretty smart
    It isnt rewarding him. Sometimes you need to stop battling with him over every issue and say I need some piece and quiet and put on the tv.

    Why not in the afternoons put on something educational for him to watch and just give yourself a breather?

    My almost 3yo stumbled down a few stairs trying to lead the dog around the yard like a horse. Im not going to never let him go outside again but we now use this as a learning experience and since then he has stopped trying to walk the dog. Sometimes the situation has to play out for a person to learn a lesson (naturally within reason)

  12. #58
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    I agree with the others about how he needs to learn to play by himself. I wonder whether your anxiety is causing you to over-think what he's doing and what he may do, and hence you feel the need to constantly intervene. That's not one of my anxious behaviours, but it's one of another mum with anxiety that I know.

    Is his room child-safe? If not, I'd recommend anchoring/locking anything that isn't, so that there's at least one space you can have him play without freaking out. Let him know that after X it'll be time to play by himself in his room - maybe he'll have some ideas of what he wants to do or maybe not...it doesn't matter. Have some things he can play with and leave him to it. Let him know it's your rest time and you're going to drink a coffee/read a book/whatever you're going to do. Calmly repeat ad nauseum while he screams bloody murder. Eventually he'll give up when he consistently doesn't get a reaction. You're his mother, not his entertainment (I tell my daughter that regularly!). It's his job to keep himself buys, not yours, and he will - slowly - learn that.

  13. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Sweetheart, don't be so catastrophic.

    We all suck at some stage. But you work your way through it.

    My ds1 7yo recently decided to start laughing at me when he got in trouble. That was great fun trying to figure out how to stop that.

    And as I type this, my 3yo is climbing on top of my head and has knocked over my ironing grrrr.

    Stuff happens, you just gotta roll with it and get through it.
    I'm sorry. Honestly I've sucked since the day he was born. He couldn't latch properly so i struggled to breastfeed, the nurses at the hospital told me I HAD to breastfeed even though my nipples were shredded. They finally gave me a pump hours after i asked & i literally sat up for the entire second night trying to pump & crying & didn't get much & they wouldn't help me. Then he woke up hungry & i tried to latch him but i was in agony & didn't have much pumped so i asked for formula & they told me I was harming my baby by giving him formula & to just 'toughen up'. It all went downhill from there.........

  14. #60
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    Default Laughing at me/caregiver when told off for misbehaving

    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    I'm sorry. Honestly I've sucked since the day he was born. He couldn't latch properly so i struggled to breastfeed, the nurses at the hospital told me I HAD to breastfeed even though my nipples were shredded. They finally gave me a pump hours after i asked & i literally sat up for the entire second night trying to pump & crying & didn't get much & they wouldn't help me. Then he woke up hungry & i tried to latch him but i was in agony & didn't have much pumped so i asked for formula & they told me I was harming my baby by giving him formula & to just 'toughen up'. It all went downhill from there.........
    And I bf my 1st successfully , where as ds2 caught a virus at 8do and nearly died. I tried to bf again and it didn't work.
    I blamed myself until someone saw how sick he was and said 'it's not about how successful YOU are at bf, it's if the baby is fed. We started formula and never looked back.

    Ds2 has..
    Fallen off a wall and split his head open, fallen in the shower and chipped his front teeth, fallen and split his lip..and had that nasty virus.

    What can u do??! I wish it wasn't like that but it's happened. We all have our hard days.

    You get back up and try again. You said he eats snacks like crazy (and they sound like healthy snacks), so he sounds healthy and happy and perfect!!!

    You don't suck, you're amazing!
    He's only 2.5 and he's looking at you for direction. It does get hard but the fact that you love him makes you keep going.

    And ps... Being a 1st time mum is hard. The nurses tell you something and you don't know any different so you listen.
    That doesn't make you a failure - that makes them mean & stupid.
    Last edited by misho; 16-03-2017 at 20:29.

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