Laughing at me/caregiver when told off for misbehaving

[rosey82]

I agree with the home day. We have 1 day a week at home, we change the sheets, bake something, hang out the washing etc, nothing very interesting. In the arvo we'll sit together to watch a movie or something. Maybe a picnic lunch in the backyard and take the dog for a walk.
Do you have a safe backyard? Can you let him play outside with minimal supervision?
Also with DD if I miss the "nap window" it will not happen. If she is not in bed by 12.30pm she refuses to nap. Could you try an earlier nap time?
Good luck, I'm dreading the day DD drops her nap!
ETA: I've started telling DD to go away and find something to do, I find if I'm busy doing boring jobs like folding washing and ignore her long enough, after a bit of whinging she usually wanders off to play. It helps to have 2-3 toys/activities set out so she's not just pulling all her toys out, she can just focus on a few things.

[Full House]

He's at daycare 3 days & with me for two.

I can definitely try it.

On rainy days, times I've been sick etc & we've just stayed home i have found he is constantly waiting for me to entertain him. But then everything i suggest just gets thrown back at me (literally usually). So I'm not sure.

He needs to learn to play on his own. Start off with small intervals and then work up to larger intervals of time. We don't need to constantly entertain our children, or stop them from being bored. I know it's different because it's a much different age but 'I'm bored' at my house means my kids either get household chores to do or they have to come up with their own idea of entertainment. So, don't worry if he is a bit bored at times, or is just refusing to play because you won't play with him. He won't be disadvantaged by not being stimulated all day every day.

[HollyGolightly81]

With the shoes, I would have just picked them up and put them away while saying you don't throw shoes and walked away. Not every battle is worth fighting, especially when they are tired. He would realize that you are cross.

He sounds tired to me. My son just dropped his nap, he won't sleep at all anymore (actually he did fall asleep yesterday for an hour but then got out of bed constantly at bed time because he wasn't tired), anyways, he doesn't nap anymore but he's still tired and needs down time. For us that is either me lying quietly with him in his dark room and we have a chat and cuddle or he watches tv. Can I ask why you don't seem to let him watch tv? I am finding at this age they don't want to nap but they still very much need to just rest and not do anything and tv or watching a movie together enables him to just lie or sit quietly on the sofa and relax and space out.

I think you just need to give things time. Every few days you start a thread based on a variation of the same behavior which shows that you aren't really giving any advice enough time. Take some stuff on board and be persistent and consistent. But I'm sure you will ignore my post so take care and good luck.

[allatsea]

He watches some TV. I just don't want him watching tv for half the day.

Re playing by himself, i find if i leave him to entertain himself he gets into mischief - last time I did that he climbed onto the dining table & every time I removed him he got straight back up there. So essentially he's not playing by himself as I'm having to intervene. I think that might be why he's not very good at it

I'm sorry I won't start anymore threads then.

Much of this behaviour has gone on for over 18 months & I'm getting to the point where I'm so emotionally exhausted i don't know what to do.

I've taken him to the GP, MCHN, developmental paediatrician & child psychologist. Haven't got anywhere with any of them. I guess I'm just not cut out to be a parent

[Lincolns mummy]

He watches some TV. I just don't want him watching tv for half the day.

Re playing by himself, i find if i leave him to entertain himself he gets into mischief - last time I did that he climbed onto the dining table & every time I removed him he got straight back up there. So essentially he's not playing by himself as I'm having to intervene. I think that might be why he's not very good at it

Does it matter if he climbs onto the table? Sure it's not the best but he was doing something by himself!

[allatsea]

Does it matter if he climbs onto the table? Sure it's not the best but he was doing something by himself!

He was trying to jump off it onto the tiles, so i was concerned about him hurting himself, it's a decent height




Edit - anyway now I've given up for the afternoon & I'm rewarding his bad behaviour with tv.

[HollyGolightly81]

You're not rewarding his bad behavior, you're letting him chill out. Not everything has to be about trying to win a battle and be right.

Will come back to edit and add more in a minute

[allatsea]

We went straight from misbehaving to TV though, so won't he make the connection that 'ok if i muck around i get extra TV every day!'? Hes pretty smart

[Tiny Dancer]

OP, I have a 2 year old who hates sleep. He hates nap time. He runs away and refuses to cooperate every single time he is supposed to get in his bed. It's really, really frustrating. I tell him twice, then go and get him, pick him up and carry him in. I tell him that I know he doesn't want to nap, but we're going to nap anyway. We make the room dark, turn on the fan, turn on the white noise and have a 10 min breastfeed (I realise that you may not be doing this, it's just part of our routine - we do the same few things as the last part of the routine before bedtime as well). After his milk we hop into his bed together, have a quick chat and then I tell him he needs to be quiet because mummy is having a nap. It has taken ages, but these days he'll be quiet, has stopped running and jumping around and stopped pulling out toys. If he starts playing with me, I say "shhh, mummy is sleeping," and keep my eyes closed. Sometimes he doesn't sleep. But he has to have quiet time in bed from 12:30 - 2. I always wake him at 2 or otherwise he won't go to sleep at night.

If he starts hurting me by hitting/kicking/climbing/jumping, I give him 2 warnings and the 3rd time tell him I am getting up now because he wouldn't listen to mummy. He has to stay on the bed, and I sit back on the chair (it's a dining chair and not at all comfortable), I don't look at him. Every time he fusses or makes noise I say "Shhh, it's sleepy time. Be quiet/lie down/keep your feet still/get back into bed" If he gets out/won't lie down, the next time I ask if he wants to do it himself or if he wants help. If he doesn't answer or doesn't respond, then I tell him I am helping him, put him back in bed or lie him down. I do it every time. But I haven't had to do that for a while.

I won't lie. It's frustrating. I have lost my temper many times over the months. I have yelled at him to stop/go to sleep - especially on those occasions that he has been hurting me/screaming non-stop for 20 minutes or more at a time. He responds much better when I can remain calm. If I lose it, I leave the room and usually shut the door until I can cool off a bit. He stands in his room and screams and cries for me to come back. I also use a bit of bribery. "Have a sleep and we can go to the park/play outside/go for a bike ride/do some painting/have some chocolate." Then I can remind him "Do you want to _____? Then you need to have a sleep. If you don't sleep we can't _____."

[Full House]

You're not rewarding his bad behaviour. He's tired and needs to just rest, but it's not a good time to sleep so you are using the tools you have to get him to rest so you can continue on parenting him (organising food, preparing a bath etc; having a breather so you can deal with the night time stuff).
I don't think you should stop posting, but Holly is right in that you have different variations of the same behaviour every few days. Potentially your anxiety is causing you to over analyse everything and catastrophise events. The thing with kids is, there isn't an overnight fix. Right now you have an overtired toddler who refuses to nap. This might not change for a few months yet. Don't worry about consequences etc for bad behaviour that is directly related to tiredness. I know when I'm tired I get cranky, don't want to do much and just want to chill out. In fact, when I'm tired but it's too early for bed I love chilling out and watching a tv show. I don't do it all the time, but I do enjoy it. Take comfort in the fact that he can behave at daycare, when out with others etc. That means that the behavioural things you're teaching him are sinking in. He does know and he can do it. Hang in there. The two days he's with you, when hubby gets home go for a walk. Just leave them to it. Get some fresh air, get a break, and leave them to it for half an hour or an hour.
This time will end. It goes by so fast. You won't always need to get out for fresh air, but it's okay to need that at this point.