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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by mummymaybe View Post
    I would have a spot, maybe a chair or mat in a corner and have him sit there for a set period. You'll have to put him back many times but it will get easier with time and consistency.
    Isn't that time out though?

    What's the difference between time out & time in?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    Isn't that time out though?

    What's the difference between time out & time in?
    Sorry I misread your post.

    This seems like a good explanation.

    http://www.positiveparentingconnecti...he-difference/

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    While this is definitely typical of many kids. The main thing is that you need to follow through and not just give up. He is 2 and already knows that you will not persist with anything and he holds all the cards.

    Time out on a chair or anywhere wouldn't work with my dd so I gave a warning that if he was throwing something etc the item would be put away. If they kept doing it the item would be removed. Yes they would have a tanty over it but you need to ignore them. They will not be scared from the experuence but it will teach him that you will follow through and pay no attention to him laughing
    Last edited by Purple Poppy; 15-03-2017 at 18:20.

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  5. #14
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    I had a child who would not do time out. Short of tying them to a chair I wasn't going to get them to stay there for anything. It was very hard as a lot of parenting books/courses talk about time out as the be all and end all, and there's no real great alternative given. Plus people think there is something wrong with your parenting if you can't get your child to sit there for 2 minutes.
    In the end I just had to deter and distract. If that child was hitting me, I would turn my back on them and completely ignored them until they stopped lashing out, then I would turn back around and give them the attention they were after. If they were mishandling a toy, it went out of sight. If they snatched a toy, it was given back to the child it was snatched from and my child was removed from the situation.
    That child is a teenager now...and a bluddy delight of a person to have around. So no, they weren't subjected to time outs for discipline, and reward charts didn't work, and it was really hard in the early years but we were consistent, so very consistent. And it worked. As they got older we could implement natural consequences etc, but at 2 we just had to fumble through.
    As for the laughing...ignore it. I used to laugh when I got in trouble as a kid. I don't know why, but I couldn't help it. Just follow through with your consequence and ignore the laughing.

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    I just feel as though the consequence is having no effect whatsoever if he's laughing at it. Like he just basically got away with it.

    Yes he definitely won't stay in time out. Not even for half a second. If i make him he lashes out - therefore creating another issue i have to deal with & find a consequence for

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    Default Laughing at me/caregiver when told off for misbehaving

    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    I just feel as though the consequence is having no effect whatsoever if he's laughing at it. Like he just basically got away with it.

    Yes he definitely won't stay in time out. Not even for half a second. If i make him he lashes out - therefore creating another issue i have to deal with & find a consequence for
    I think you're putting a 'grown up' mentality behind his laughing. I doubt he's laughing because he's saying 'nah nah I'm getting away with this.' He's laughing because he is little and uncomfortable and doesn't know how to react.

    Have you found any books yet, many address reactions like this.

    Consequences. Like others said, it depends on what the problem is. Take the toy away, pick him up and remove him etc.

    The only type of time out that works for me is putting him in his room to 'play by himself.' Even then I have to persist with making him stay in there, once it works, whenever I go in to get him he is playing quietly and ready to have a cuddle, say sorry and move on. But it takes a few times of putting him in there before he stays.

    When I do time in I walk into another room and sit with him on my lap, holding him tightly until he calms down.

    All of it requires perseverance and repetition.

    But honestly, please find a parenting book or website that goes with you parenting style along with a book that explains development to you. There are heaps to follow on Facebook and the library usually has tons. I am finding all of your threads the same variation of each other and think the biggest help will be for you to actually read up on development and various parenting techniques and pick one you agree with.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 15-03-2017 at 18:56.

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    Default Laughing at me/caregiver when told off for misbehaving

    Instead of concentrating on the negative behaviours do you praise or reward him for good behaviour?

    Sounds like he is seeking attention- good or bad. Personally I would just ignore the laughing- trust me it's normal, dd1 smirks and it irritates me no end- and maybe give him zero attention and walk away for bad behaviour and concentrate on attention for behaviour you do want.

    Have you considered a reward chart? I know you don't do food or tv/iPad bribes (my saviour here 😊) but maybe something special like stamps or stickers?

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  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    I just feel as though the consequence is having no effect whatsoever if he's laughing at it. Like he just basically got away with it.

    Yes he definitely won't stay in time out. Not even for half a second. If i make him he lashes out - therefore creating another issue i have to deal with & find a consequence for
    So find a consequence for it! Giving up when he lashes out is rewarding the lashing out. Giving up when he laughs is rewarding the laughter. He's not rubbing his hands together gleefully and thinking 'I got away with it!' It's not personal like that.

    He simply needs to learn appropriate responses like all two year olds. Some people laugh when they are upset or embarrassed. Some laugh when they are confused. With my son I used to put on a very serious face and say 'is mummy laughing? Mummy's not laughing, it isn't funny.' It took lots of time but he kind of gets it now.

    As for time out - have you tried taking him away from the action and sitting him on your lap? This is what I've always done for a 'time out' - taken him to his room, put the timer on and held him close, not reacting or talking or moving at all. If he wriggled etc I would restart the timer. 2 minutes of doing nothing is forever for a two year old.

    I think in general it's worth trying some of these ideas for longer than you seem to (going by your other posts). It's easy to be disheartened when things don't work straight away, but, like all of us, toddlers need time to adjust to change and to learn.

    Just try not to take him and his actions so personally. I know it's hard, and I think we've all been there, but I think if you try and think the best of him it will give you more patience.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post

    Just try not to take him and his actions so personally. I know it's hard, and I think we've all been there, but I think if you try and think the best of him it will give you more patience.
    This x1000.

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    So find a consequence for it! Giving up when he lashes out is rewarding the lashing out. Giving up when he laughs is rewarding the laughter. He's not rubbing his hands together gleefully and thinking 'I got away with it!' It's not personal like that.

    He simply needs to learn appropriate responses like all two year olds. Some people laugh when they are upset or embarrassed. Some laugh when they are confused. With my son I used to put on a very serious face and say 'is mummy laughing? Mummy's not laughing, it isn't funny.' It took lots of time but he kind of gets it now.

    As for time out - have you tried taking him away from the action and sitting him on your lap? This is what I've always done for a 'time out' - taken him to his room, put the timer on and held him close, not reacting or talking or moving at all. If he wriggled etc I would restart the timer. 2 minutes of doing nothing is forever for a two year old.

    I think in general it's worth trying some of these ideas for longer than you seem to (going by your other posts). It's easy to be disheartened when things don't work straight away, but, like all of us, toddlers need time to adjust to change and to learn.

    Just try not to take him and his actions so personally. I know it's hard, and I think we've all been there, but I think if you try and think the best of him it will give you more patience.
    What kind of consequence? I honestly have no idea

    Re time out, yes I've tried sitting him on my lap or next to me. He does more than wriggle. He fights tooth & nail. Hits, kicks, rips hair out, scratches, head-butts etc. So then I have to find a consequence for that behaviour as well as whatever the original issue was

    I'm not good with consequences. I don't know what i should use.

    He WILL NOT be redirected or distracted. So other than that & time out, what other options are there?


 

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