ADVERTISEMENT

+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 7 FirstFirst ... 34567 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 70
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    139
    Thanks
    69
    Thanked
    13
    Reviews
    0
    I tried time in for two weeks. He never even sat with me for a second unless I made him. He just walked off & completely got away with headbutting me in the face or whatever

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    5,930
    Thanks
    1,076
    Thanked
    3,980
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    2 weeks is not long enough to try anything. Have you asked childcare what discipline they use? What does your DH use?

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    5,576
    Thanks
    653
    Thanked
    2,675
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Just had a thought... maybe see if a psychologist could do a home visit if you can't get to their office . My psychologist comes to me when I can't get to him so worth seeing if that's a possibility !

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    3,240
    Thanks
    3,024
    Thanked
    2,906
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    A few thoughts:

    1. If he is aggressive. Say something along the lines of kicking hurts mummy and just walk away for a while. Make sure he is safe obviously, but give yourself some space to calm down. For it to work, do not react at all. Just walk away. Then come back 10 minutes or so later, explain that you walked away because kicking hurts and you would like him to use soft touches / lie still / whatever. Then change the topic and play a game or something with him. So essentially, don't reward undesirable behaviour with a reaction, spend quality time with him and praise good behaviour.

    2. Do you spend much time playing with him? From what you have written, a lot of his behaviour seems to be centered around him trying to get a reaction out of you. If you give him lots of positive attention it may stop.

    3. Are you doing the nappy changes on the floor or a change table? If you are attempting to do them on a change table I would suggest swapping to the floor - I found it so much easier.

    4. This is a long shot, and not terribly likely because he is fine at daycare, but food intolerances can cause behavioural problems in children. See if any of this applies to you:

    http://www.fedup.com.au/
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 09-03-2017 at 20:04.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    allatsea  (09-03-2017),HollyGolightly81  (09-03-2017),TheGooch  (09-03-2017)

  6. #45
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    139
    Thanks
    69
    Thanked
    13
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    A few thoughts:

    1. If he is aggressive. Say something along the lines of kicking hurts mummy and just walk away for a while. Make sure he is safe obviously, but give yourself some space to calm down. For it to work, do not react at all. Just walk away. Then come back 10 minutes or so later, explain that you walked away because kicking hurts and you would like him to use soft touches / lie still / whatever. Then change the topic and play a game or something with him. So essentially, don't reward undesirable behaviour with a reaction, spend quality time with him and praise good behaviour.

    2. Do you spend much time playing with him? From what you have written, a lot of his behaviour seems to be centered around him trying to get a reaction out of you. If you give him lots of positive attention it may stop.

    3. Are you doing the nappy changes on the floor or a change table? If you are attempting to do them on a change table I would suggest swapping to the floor - I found it so much easier.

    4. This is a long shot, and not terribly likely because he is fine at daycare, but food intolerances can cause behavioural problems in children. See if any of this applies to you:

    http://www.fedup.com.au/
    1 I will try it

    2 I attempt to, but mostly end up sitting & watching while he plays by himself because he only ever seems to want me to play WITH him when I'm right in the middle of something. Any other time, I offer activity after activity & it's just 'no no no' so in the end I usually just let him go & start playing with something & attempt to join in & he won't let me. So then I just watch. I don't know what else to do

    3 nappy changes always on the floor

    4 thanks I'll have a read!

  7. #46
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    3,240
    Thanks
    3,024
    Thanked
    2,906
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    2 I attempt to, but mostly end up sitting & watching while he plays by himself because he only ever seems to want me to play WITH him when I'm right in the middle of something. Any other time, I offer activity after activity & it's just 'no no no' so in the end I usually just let him go & start playing with something & attempt to join in & he won't let me. So then I just watch. I don't know what else to do
    When my DS was that age we used to do the following together:
    1. Playdough
    2. Build Duplo creations and then play with them. As he got older it progressed to assembling complex lego sets together.
    3. Lay out the train tracks together and make games with the trains chasing each other around the tracks.
    4. Read lots of books together.
    5. We had a Little Tykes cozy coupe and I used to push him around the back yard in it.
    6. I also took him to the park most days and played on the equipment with him eg slid down the slides together etc.

    DS is 19 now, but he can still remember me playing with him a lot when he was little and he thanked me for it. He got way more attention from me than his younger siblings did, simply because he was my only child for nearly 3 years.

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    allatsea  (09-03-2017),HollyGolightly81  (09-03-2017),JustJaq  (09-03-2017),Mum-I-Am  (10-03-2017)

  9. #47
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    462
    Thanks
    280
    Thanked
    367
    Reviews
    0
    Playing with them there way is invaluable. I can honestly say I don't enjoy if for long but persist. Ask if you can play whatever he's doing, or just follow his lead rather than suggesting activities.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to YeahYeahYeah For This Useful Post:

    Mum-I-Am  (10-03-2017)

  11. #48
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    3,767
    Thanks
    946
    Thanked
    1,146
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Changing an active toddler's nappy when they are throwing themselves around/d...

    I don't want this to sound harsh - I mean this in the nicest way, taking into accounts all your posts.

    He sounds like he knows you're a bit of a pushover and that you don't follow through, so he's started to realise he can push the boundaries.

    He's 2.5 - he's looking to see what he can and can't do.

    If you constantly change your approach, he will he ever learn what's expected of him??

    So he doesn't wear nappies at preschool but he does at home, but he won't comply and put the nappy on... Then, take the nappy off and let him feel soggy in his undies for a while. Then if he complains, explain that he has a choice - nappy or toilet. You'd be surprised how much he understands.

    Same with the bedroom light. On or off - but not changing it all night every night.

    Being cheeky - start using a time out. It might take take 200 times for him to understand - but he'll get.

    Have you watched supernanny? Some might disagree here, but some of her methods DO work - consistency is the key.

    You can't allow him to pull your hair or hit you - there has to be a consequence. If distraction isn't working you need to make some adjustments.

    Don't make excuses - we've all done it, we've all done it tough sometimes. You can do this!

    Eta: I have 3 boys (3 CRAZY boys), so I understand that boys are a whole different boy game! I'm not trying to be insensitive, just in case u thought I was
    Last edited by misho; 09-03-2017 at 22:10.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to misho For This Useful Post:

    MyDino  (10-03-2017)

  13. #49
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    462
    Thanks
    280
    Thanked
    367
    Reviews
    0
    Also, can you afford for him to have an extra day at day care for you to spend time on yourself? Might be an idea?

  14. #50
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    4,598
    Thanks
    1,700
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    My DD was always a high energy toddler and went through all the typical hitting, defiant, etc 'phases'. Lots of positive reinforcement and some gentle discipline (super-nanny uk style time outs etc) and we got through them all. By the time she was 3 she was already starting to be delightfully behaved and, with 5.5 years in between our 2 we thought we knew how to raise a pretty good kid when DS came along.

    DS has been a whooooole different story! His 'phase' seems to be permanent!!! He's such a lovely kid but just has this hyper-agro side that comes out when he's excited. So many kicks, hits, bites, headbuts - he doesn't mean to hurt, he seems to have no thoughts at all when it happens, so the whole "you hurt mummy, mummy ouch/sad" has never had ANY impact!

    I do time out with him. Mostly it's removing myself or removing him. When I remove him we'll put him on the hallway step or just outside the door of the room he was in. (Also recommend to watch some old eps of Supernanny to see the rapid return technique she uses).

    For changing, if I was short and had him on a change table I would ALWAYS get kicked in the face. Trust me, I have been working on this issue for at least 18m (only night nappies now, but still need to get them on and off) and we're finally making some headway!

    For me, being tall it's easy to get some distance between me and the flying limbs. So I change him on his bed and stoop over. Hell on my back, but nicer than getting kicked! I've also had necklines torn by the grab and fall over act (my hair is always tied back).

    The flip side of all this is that he's strong willed, fearless to try something new and loves to do things for himself. He doesn't turn 4 until June and he wrote his name on a piece of work at daycare today! That's how set he is on doing things himself, his way!

    Daycare have never called us in for a meeting about his behavior or anything, but they have had to make some adjustments to help him manage it. He didn't really start to cause issues there until he was about 3 and they started expecting the 'phase' to be done.

    So yes, its 'normal', but perhaps our boys are kinda down the extreme end of normal!

    I agree to work on your anxiety. But I am finding so many of the "he's normal its just that you can't cope" style comments are ticking me off a bit though because my anxiety is 100% managed yet I've found the slow process to helping our son with his behaviour very, very challenging. (Eg. We are too scared to go for a third in case they turn out to be as much work as him!) So yes, persist with working out the anxiety but also accept that you may have to work harder with your little man than some parents do with theirs.

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Stretched For This Useful Post:

    allatsea  (09-03-2017),HollyGolightly81  (09-03-2017)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Why do babies/toddlers vomit when they are not sick?
    By Busy-Bee in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-06-2008, 08:49
  2. Why Can't They Be Jabbed When They Are Ill
    By Seekrit in forum Immunisation & Vaccines
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 22-07-2007, 22:05
  3. Do you think people die when they are supposed to??
    By catalicious in forum Religion / Spirituality
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 27-06-2007, 10:55
  4. US Study - Women Dress to Impress when they are Fertile
    By MilkOnTap in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-10-2006, 14:24
  5. How to tell a friend your pregnant, when they are doing IVF
    By Grace3 in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 30-07-2006, 18:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURED SUPPORTER
Swim AustraliaSwim Australia are the leading learn-to-swim experts, and national swim school authority. With over 600 Registered Swim ...
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›

ADVERTISEMENT