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  1. #1
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    Default Changing an active toddler's nappy when they are throwing themselves around/deliberat

    We are back to nappies for the time being as toilet training is becoming a battle.

    So how on earth do you change an active & defiant toddler's nappy?

    We are using nappy pants so he can stand up, which helps. But when I'm putting one foot through the hole he pretends he can't stand up - I'm happy for him to use my shoulder to balance on, but no. He basically makes himself fall over but then grabs either my clothes or my hair to prevent himself from falling over - consequently either ripping my hair out or ripping hard at my clothes. He even does it to my nice work dresses etc which is really not on.

    He thinks it's hilarious & he will not stop.

    He refuses to lie down to be changed - I have to restrain him while he lashes out at me (kicks me in the face etc) if I want him to lie down.

    So I'd rather work on standing up changes.

    I understand it might be hard to balance on one leg for a short time, but I offer him my arm or shoulder. He deliberately throws his body around so that he basically falls over.

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    sounds to me he is just making a joke out of the whole procedure. Is he able to do the job by himself. ?? good luck. marie.

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    No he can't change his own nappy yet, especially a soiled one. He also has trouble putting the clean one on as they are tighter than undies.

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    Lay him down. Put both his legs into the holes and lift it to his knees. Stand him up. Pull them up.

    If he kicks and fusses - make it a game. If he gets both feet in then he gets a high 5 or something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Lay him down. Put both his legs into the holes and lift it to his knees. Stand him up. Pull them up.

    If he kicks and fusses - make it a game. If he gets both feet in then he gets a high 5 or something.
    What is the best way to hold him so I have two hands free?

    The second he touches the floor he's rolling onto his back or sliding away.

    If I'm holding him down I need to restrain both arms, both legs & keep myself away from his head & mouth - otherwise I get kicked in the nose or scratched, hit, bitten, headbutted or have my hair ripped out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    What is the best way to hold him so I have two hands free?

    The second he touches the floor he's rolling onto his back or sliding away.

    If I'm holding him down I need to restrain both arms, both legs & keep myself away from his head & mouth - otherwise I get kicked in the nose or scratched, hit, bitten, headbutted or have my hair ripped out.
    I just always made it a game with a reward (high 5 or fistpump). So he laid down (I had to give something to distract) talked to him on what we are doing, got him excited to put his legs through the holes and stand up.

    To be honest any rough behaviour had to be addressed. Soft/gentle hands etc etc.

    I found similar wording to what childcare used helped (they use 'please stop x as I don't like it/it hurts').

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    He did a poo when he was meant to be having quiet time. I thought I'd better change it as it's not fair to leave him in it. I just got kicked in the face numerous times for my trouble.

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    Default Changing an active toddler's nappy when they are throwing themselves around/d...

    @allatsea

    I know a lot of us (including me) have previously mentioned that your boy sounds like a normal little kid and that you need to get your anxiety sorted.

    I confess I'm probably a bit quick to dismiss your problems.

    However, I am finding this thread alarming. It is not normal for a 2.5 year old to hit or kick you every nappy change (or putting on sunscreen) and it is unacceptable to put up with that.

    Resistiveness and non compliance is normal, tantrums is normal, but hurting you and taking his out his frustration on you- not on. Have you explained his behaviour to a paed? Or spoken to his childcare teachers? What's he like with your dh? I just don't understand why he's like this with you all the time but not at daycare- I'm a bit confused?

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    Yes we have seen a developmental paediatrician, she said he's normal.

    Daycare were shocked when I told them about this behaviour. They couldn't believe he behaves like that with me, he has never done anything like that at daycare.

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    I think the issue is that when he first started lashing out at me, I didn't know the best way to address it. Nothing I tried worked to prevent it so i just basically gave up because I was told it was a 'normal phase' & would pass. It hasn't. So I guess he's used to getting away with it, so now it's a thing.

    I don't know where this aggression even comes from. I've never ever smacked him & I don't know where else he would have got the idea from
    Last edited by allatsea; 09-03-2017 at 16:44.


 

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