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  1. #1
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    Default Trigger warning. Unexpected pregnancy, seeking advice.

    Apologies if this is in the wrong section. I'm a regular hubber and I need some advice. I've just found out that I am pregnant. DH and I have 2 children, our youngest is less than a year old. Due to health problems I have to deliver my babies via c section. My last Caesarian was very painful and took me at least 2 months to recover and for the pain to go away. I'm over weight and in pretty bad health and my last pregnancy was awful. I swore I'd never go through that again.

    I'm absolutely terrified of having another c section. I'm also worried about how I'll cope with 3 children. The two I have now absolutely exhaust me mentally and physically. I suffer from anxiety and depression and have experienced post natal depression with both my children.

    I'm so confused right now. DH and I are both leaning towards termination (please no judgement). I'm pro choice but I never thought it's a choice I'd have to make. We have not dtd much since having our second child, maybe 5 times, and every time have used condoms. Obviously we've had an accident. I'm so mad at myself for letting his happen and my mind is like porridge right now. I can't think straight.

    I guess I'm just looking for some advice from anyone who has experienced an unexpected and frankly unwanted pregnancy. I don't know if I'll be able to go through with a termination but on the other hand I'm terrified to have a third Caesarian, I don't even know if it's medically safe. I'm worried about having 2 under 2 plus my older one who is hard work. I really don't know what to do. I'm between a rock and a hard place.

    Also because I haven't had a regular cycle since having my second baby I can't calculate gestational age. The digital pregnancy test said 3 weeks + and he last time we dtd I think was probably 6 or 8 weeks ago so I could be 2 months already. I need to have a scan but my GP is someone I know socially and if I see her I couldn't to through with the abortion. Can I go to another GP to get a referral for a scan without my regular GP finding out? Or since it's all computerized would it be in my medical history for everyone to see?

    Thank you if you've read this far. Sorry for the long confusing ramble.

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    Loh4  (09-08-2017)

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    @Confused12345 - it might help you to talk to some professional, non-judgemental counsellors too as they will have talked to others in your situation.

    There's a link here to some national helplines and also specific ones for different locations in Australia: http://www.bubhub.com.au/directory/f...ines-national/

    http://www.bubhub.com.au/directory/f...ing-helplines/ (and then pick your state/territory).

    All the helplines will be confidential.
    Good luck.

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    Confused12345  (06-03-2017),MrsBMum2be  (06-03-2017)

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    its such a hard thing.

    You have to decide whats right for you and your family.

    Yes you can go to another GP. They do not share medical records in that way - and even if they did, your GP cannot share any information with anyone anyway.


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    Confused12345  (06-03-2017)

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    I have had an unexpected pregnancy. We really were done with 5 kids. We weren't being careful and I really didn't think it would be possible due to breast feeding. My son was 20 months old though.
    It was a shock and I was worried how I would cope. I don't have any anxiety issues or anything but was barely coping with the kids I had seeing as some have asd, add.
    We are pro life so we accepted it and started to make some loose plans etc but I was just having a very hard time imagining another child. I thought it was because it was so unexpected.
    I decided to wait until nearly 12 weeks to have a scan. I just couldn't shake the strange feelings I was having of not bonding. I'm not usually like that. I had started to feel depressed, I had been so sick and stressed.
    At the scan we found the baby had passed. It was a weird and hard time grieving something I hadn't really wanted and was so unsure of.

    So while it's not the same it's still something I never expected to deal with so I understand that feeling and I empathise.

    I suggest getting the scan first of all to see how far and be sure the pregnancy is viable etc.
    Maybe after you have that info some things might feel a bit clearer?
    I would definitely seek counselling whichever decision you come to. Neither will be easy and both will be a decision that will stay with you for the rest of your life.
    Best of luck.

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    Confused12345  (06-03-2017),Loh4  (09-08-2017)

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    Thank you for the replies. It's a lot to think about. I've booked an appointment with a GP tomorrow, maybe after I've had a scan it will be easier to come to a decision..

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    Bluebirdgirl  (07-03-2017)

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    I hope so for you OP.

    While it's not the same obviously as choosing to let something go as having it just leave you, it's almost 4 years since I found out I was pregnant with my unplanned pregnancy and I still think of it.
    Time has not made it go away and we even have had another child since then. I still find myself wondering what that child might have been even though I never actually wanted it.

    I guess some ladies who choose to terminate might think similar things? I don't know anyone who has for any insight but I guess it's one of the many things to consider you could feel.

    I truly wish you all the best because that's such a difficult situation.

  12. #7
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    Oh you poor thing! Only you and your husband can make this decision! Maybe speak to a doctor if you have a good one? You have every right to seek an abortion if you want one so don't let anyone guilt or judge you!

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    BlondeinBrisvegas  (07-03-2017)


 

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