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  1. #31
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    I would be working on a way to get the sunscreen on or buying some suitable long-sleeved clothes (eg. from a sports store/fishing store, something that's designed to protect from sun but not a winter shirt), spray him down with the spray sunscreen where needed, wide brimmed hat. I've been taking mine out early in the mornings and late in the afternoons lately and they're loving being outside with the sandpit, swing/monkey bars and the sprinkler. I think not getting his energy out with outside play would be half of your problems with his behaviour.

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  3. #32
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    Ok honestly if my kid was that much drama I wouldn't want to go outside! Lol
    Isn't it too hot anyway?? Do you live in an apartment? Does it have a balcony or something? I would probably get a sand/water table and go on the porch or whatever and leave it at that.
    If he is just so hyperactive I think he might need some natural medicines or some sort of calming techniques to help him chill out. My kids are indoors all day. My 2 yr old is very busy playing with her things or watching tv. Or getting into my things!
    My son with asd does laps of the house because he can't stay still.
    But yeh I won't go out in this heat. My little one just runs and runs when she's outside so I would be more worried about heatstroke than sunburn.

    What does he actually do all day @allatsea ? If you have said what a typical day is I have missed it.

  4. #33
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    Don't put the sunscreen on. Put him in the pram and get transport to the local indoor pool.
    Let him go nuts and on the way home he'll be so knackered that he'll fall asleep. Then put sunscreen on for the trip home.

    Alternatively, stay home.
    You said he's at daycare 3 days a week & one morning a week he has playgroup. One day a week of staying home and doing indoor activities like play-do, playing with his own toys etc is fine too.

    He'll never be as tired as if he ran around a park, but does he have to be??? Just a nice calm day at home is good too!

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Don't put the sunscreen on. Put him in the pram and get transport to the local indoor pool.
    Let him go nuts and on the way home he'll be so knackered that he'll fall asleep. Then put sunscreen on for the trip home.

    Alternatively, stay home.
    You said he's at daycare 3 days a week & one morning a week he has playgroup. One day a week of staying home and doing indoor activities like play-do, playing with his own toys etc is fine too.

    He'll never be as tired as if he ran around a park, but does he have to be??? Just a nice calm day at home is good too!
    Agree. I think you had said he gets bored easily but I think the risk of him being over stimulated is there as much as not getting his energy out.
    My 5 year old can run and play all day outside and still fuss at bed time and stay awake hours longer than I would think. Activity doesn't tire him, it works him up.

    It is good for them to learn to chill out.

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  8. #35
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    I've found giving him a choice most helpful when he's being really difficult about things like suncream, brushing teeth, etc. So saying very simply, you can stand nicely and watch tv while I put the cream on or I can turn the tv off and do it. You can help me put the cream on or I can pin you down, etc. That's how I get him to wear a hat, I give him a choice of more than one to choose from and then he happily keeps it on. But if it is really that difficult, there are long clothes designed for the heat, do that, people in other countries wear stuff like that while hiking or trekking all of the time. Go to an indoor pool, etc. I would still want to get out for a walk/scoot/play at the playground in the morning even on a 'quiet' day. Then home to play playdoh once it's too hot.

  9. #36
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    OP, this could be a good read for you. http://www.mother.ly/child/11-tips-f...0K_fk.facebook

  10. #37
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    The best advice I can give is that you need to work on accepting there is no perfect solution in parenting. It's hard work. It's not meant to be easy. It's all about compromise.

    Your son needs outside time to burn some energy, let him outside to play. If you need to put sunscreen on, do it. If it's a struggle to put sunscreen on him, then this is where you need to compromise.

    So you either battle him to get sunscreen on (loss) but he gets to get outside and burns off some energy making him more bearable so you can clean or eat or relax (win). Or you don't put sunscreen on him, saving yourself the battle (win) but he doesn't get outside to burn off energy so you struggle keeping him occupied inside (loss). So neither situation is win / win, but it rarely is in parenting, you just need to pick your battles and celebrate the win you donget out of it.

    Same with using TVs or iPads, you may not want him to watch / use them, but if it means you can eat lunch in peace or cook dinner and save your sanity, then do it, don't think of it as a loss, but a win that he was occupied.

    Don't be so hard on yourself and stop trying to make everything perfect, it will never happen. Focus on dropping your expectations and trust me, it will make life easier for both of you. Your son is likely picking up on your anxiety and your need to make everything perfect and mould him into a child that he's just not going to be. His personality is his personality, his needs are his needs, try and embrace that and instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water, maybe give some of these great recommendations a try. They may not give you a perfect solution, but they may just work. Give them a go instead of giving excuses as to why things won't work. I don't think you've told anyone you will try their ideas, you've just told them why it won't work.

    Anxiety sucks and can make parenting that much harder and I totally understand that struggle, but dropping my expectations on myself and my kids has helped me immensely. I really do hope you can get the anxiety sorted. If a psychologist isn't really helping, it might be time to perhaps look at consulting with your GP about some meds.

    Good luck, I really do hope you get to a better place with your parenting, maybe focus on your anxiety first and the rest will fall into place.

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  12. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Californication View Post
    OP, this could be a good read for you. http://www.mother.ly/child/11-tips-f...0K_fk.facebook
    On the whole I liked this article. Both my kids are high energy and strong willed but DD was more 'highly sensitive " (aka drama queen! lol) and my DS is more aggressive. So both need slightly different approaches on the one theme.

    The thing I didn't like about the article, and it is a criticism of a lot of "gentle parenting" things I have heard or read, is the author's responses to their child are veeeeery wordy.

    That whole paragraph negotiating over putting on a coat to go outside - seriously! First of all, you're probably in a rush in this scenario but more importantly, what young child will not have tuned out by the 2nd sentence?

    So for me, while I still consider my approach on the whole gentle (with the occasional pin-down-for-sunscreen like PP suggested) I keep it much shorter and clearer than this author. It would go something like this:

    "OK, I understand you don't want to wear a jacket. It's cold outside so we will take one but you don't have to put it on." Or on a really bad day/mega rush I would just say the first bit and sneak the jacket into the bag. 9/10 times they're asking for their jacket before we get to the car even.

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  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    The best advice I can give is that you need to work on accepting there is no perfect solution in parenting. It's hard work. It's not meant to be easy. It's all about compromise.

    Your son needs outside time to burn some energy, let him outside to play. If you need to put sunscreen on, do it. If it's a struggle to put sunscreen on him, then this is where you need to compromise.

    So you either battle him to get sunscreen on (loss) but he gets to get outside and burns off some energy making him more bearable so you can clean or eat or relax (win). Or you don't put sunscreen on him, saving yourself the battle (win) but he doesn't get outside to burn off energy so you struggle keeping him occupied inside (loss). So neither situation is win / win, but it rarely is in parenting, you just need to pick your battles and celebrate the win you donget out of it.

    Same with using TVs or iPads, you may not want him to watch / use them, but if it means you can eat lunch in peace or cook dinner and save your sanity, then do it, don't think of it as a loss, but a win that he was occupied.

    Don't be so hard on yourself and stop trying to make everything perfect, it will never happen. Focus on dropping your expectations and trust me, it will make life easier for both of you. Your son is likely picking up on your anxiety and your need to make everything perfect and mould him into a child that he's just not going to be. His personality is his personality, his needs are his needs, try and embrace that and instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water, maybe give some of these great recommendations a try. They may not give you a perfect solution, but they may just work. Give them a go instead of giving excuses as to why things won't work. I don't think you've told anyone you will try their ideas, you've just told them why it won't work.

    Anxiety sucks and can make parenting that much harder and I totally understand that struggle, but dropping my expectations on myself and my kids has helped me immensely. I really do hope you can get the anxiety sorted. If a psychologist isn't really helping, it might be time to perhaps look at consulting with your GP about some meds.

    Good luck, I really do hope you get to a better place with your parenting, maybe focus on your anxiety first and the rest will fall into place.
    This is so well said. I just want to add one thing...recently you briefly mentioned that you were doing IVF. I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but I strongly recommend getting better control on your anxiety, and being able to cope with the day to day struggles of parenting one child before adding another to your family.

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  16. #40
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    All the threads you've been starting about your son sound like normal 2.5 year old behaviour. Not wanting sunscreen, hyper behaviour, not handling big bed transition well and wanting a light. Sometimes you just need to breathe and go with the flow. They are so little for such a short period, it's not worth sweating the small stuff.

    As someone with anxiety myself, I think the root of the issue isn't your son but your anxiety. I know you see a psych but it sounds like you really need to look at meds. I held off for so long bc I'd heard stories from people I knew that said AD's made them empty shells with no emotion. What I didn't understand was that isn't normal or healthy, and meant it was the wrong meds for them. Meds flatten out the anxiety and they do work.

    Please try to put in practice some of the suggestions you are given rather than dismissing them and finding reasons why they won't work. Many of the ladies here have 2/3/4/5 kids, have anxiety themselves, have rambunctious toddlers. We are a wealth of knowledge if you only are willing to take on advice.

    Good luck.

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