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  1. #41
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    Maybe I'll feel differently when DD is older, but I doubt it. I don't know a single person IRL that is worried about everyday photos of their kids being online.

    Maybe it's because I feel differently about photos altogether than people here. Cheeeeesecake, almost every pic in my families photo albums of me, I am completely naked. They've always teased me about it. Didn't bother me then, doesn't now.
    The fact that a photo is 'out there forever' doesn't bother me one bit. There are photos of me online, in lingerie. A couple on a photographers website. How would I feel if those photos are looked at by everyone? Saved by someone? Looked at by some creepy stranger thinking inappropriate things? I couldn't care less. It's just a picture. If those photos were posted with my address? Yes, I wouldn't like that.

    I guess there's a gauge that goes from naive to paranoid and we see each other sitting in a different section of that gauge.

    I make risk assessments for everything based on what I think the probability of something happening is. Others do the same. People's anxiety levels, experiences and way they view the world affects the way they view risk levels.

    When I was younger, my aunty and uncle were friends with a couple who turned out to be horrific, sick pedophiles. One of my cousins has had trouble trusting anyone ever since. I saw it as this particular couple were sick weirdos, the chance of meeting someone else the same is probably not all that high. We just saw it in different ways. <shrug>

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post
    Maybe I'll feel differently when DD is older, but I doubt it. I don't know a single person IRL that is worried about everyday photos of their kids being online.

    Maybe it's because I feel differently about photos altogether than people here. Cheeeeesecake, almost every pic in my families photo albums of me, I am completely naked. They've always teased me about it. Didn't bother me then, doesn't now.
    The fact that a photo is 'out there forever' doesn't bother me one bit. There are photos of me online, in lingerie. A couple on a photographers website. How would I feel if those photos are looked at by everyone? Saved by someone? Looked at by some creepy stranger thinking inappropriate things? I couldn't care less. It's just a picture. If those photos were posted with my address? Yes, I wouldn't like that.

    <shrug>
    I think for me, it's not about being paranoid - the chance that my child's fully clothed photo will be looked at by paedophiles seems very unlikely to me. It's more respecting my child's feelings about their photos being shared online. That's great the teasing didnt upset you - I think my parents were the same - they werent bothered by 'harmless teasing', which is why they teased me so much and didnt realise how mich it upset me. It doesnt upset me now - but I felt very disrespected as a child. I wonder how you will respond if your own child doesnt like teasing, or if the child comes to a place where they say 'I don't want that photo of me put online?' Where do we, as parents, draw the line as to respecting our children's decisions and feelings about the matter? Because if my own childhood experiences, and my lack of voice in the matter, I am really aware of how my kids might feel, so i will leave the choice up to them.

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  4. #43
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    If, when my child is capable of thinking such things, they say I don't want photos of me online" I'll say "Ok, I won't put them up anymore". If she is really upset by teasing, we won't do it. I guess it depends on your personality - there were things I didn't like being teased about, got teased anyway and it made me a more resilient person. I don't look back and think anything of it other than when you're a kid you can't always control what other people do, so you find skills to cope. Actually, same goes for adulthood.

    I'll draw the line at respecting my child's decisions on matters such as this when she can actually make them. There's a lot of decisions I'm going to make for her before then because I'm the adult and she's a baby and that's life.
    If, when the time comes, she's anxious about such things we'll also have discussions about where that anxiety is coming from so she can learn to make her own risk assessments in the future from a place of rational thinking.

    In the meantime, I'm not going to run around telling everyone to keep my kid off social media because they "might" not like it later on. It just seems a little ludicrous to me. There's more chance that I'll be the one telling her to take photos of herself down that I think are inappropriate when she's a teenager.

    Like I said, everyone gets to make the decision for their own kid. In my real life world, everyone I know would find it a really odd thing to be worried about, even to be worried about what you're kid might think about it when they're older. Maybe in other people's world it's the norm.


 

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