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  1. #1
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    Default Advice needed - social media

    Hi ladies

    Just wanting to get some advice and views on peoples stance on their baby & children's photos being shared on social media.

    Neither DH or I have social media, however both sides of our families live their lives through social media and behind their cameras, rather than enjoying being in the moment.

    Are DH and I being unrealistic in asking that our child's photo not be posted on social media?
    If DH and i aren't on there to see it, what purpose would it be posted for?

    How would we go about asking for people to respect our child's privacy and is it a huge task to police?

    Also, is there any other way we can share photos with family members in a secure and private way so everyone can have access without us having to email or text individual people constantly?

    Im sure this post comes across as a bit neurotic, but surely we cant be the only ones to feel this way?

    TIA

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    frankie46  (26-02-2017)

  3. #2
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    It is absolutely your right to expect your family not to post pics of your children on social media. I would just bring it up in a gentle conversation - 'we have decided we don't want our kids photos on facebook/etc at all, and we ask that you respect our decision by not posting photos of our kids online'. I'm ok with my kids photos on social media, but I know plenty of people who are not ok with it,& it's a perfectly valid choice. It's good to be aware that occassionaly a photo may slip through- eg, family friend takes a photo of a group of children singing happy birthday to their child, & your kid is one of the partygoers - TBH, it happens from time to time. But specific or individual photos od your kids can be avoided easily.

    As for sharing photos with family members - a group messaging app such as viber, whatsapp or telegram is a great way to do this - you just need to ask family to download the app and start a family group to message to.

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)

  5. #3
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    We also have whatsapp for just about every family/friend/school group so it's a great easy way to share photos, I don't have face book but my mum and sisters/SIL do and I don't mind at all that they post photos of DS, for mum she loves to show her own brothers and sisters his photos etc

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)

  7. #4
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    Check out photo sharing apps, I found this really nice one once but I can't remember the name.

    It's totally not a big ask that your family keeps your kids photos off of social media.
    Imo anyone should ask before they share photos of yourself or your family on any social media.
    You don't know all of their friends assuming they are even private.

    I don't look at it from a security concern so much as just a right to privacy. In times past grandparents might have had a brag book to show anyone they caught up with and now there's always the photos on your phone you show to people. It's not the same as putting a photo where a possible large group of people have access to forever. I just find it rude.
    Don't let anyone make you feel you're being over the top about it.

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)

  9. #5
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    We have a no social media rule for our two sons. Family and friends know now without even asking what our stance on it is. I have had to ask a friend remove a picture of my DS from Facebook which she did immediately, it was just an oversight on her part. DH's sister posted pictures of DS1's birthday party on Facebook which caused a bit of an argument when we asked her to remove them because apparently in her mind if we don't photos on Facebook we should tell people not to take photos at all! Anyway she deleted us both from Facebook as friends and no longer speaks to me because of this issue so I won't be inviting her to any future parties! Problem solved! She is the exception to the rule though and I find most people are happy to oblige with our wishes.

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)

  11. #6
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    Great post. Not unrealistic in the slightest! I didn't have social media when DD was born, and felt very strongly about family / friends not sharing photos of DD (or myself!). My family were aware of this. I didn't make an announcement as such, but as pics were taken (I too come from a family who lives through their online 'personas') I would calmly say, "None on Facebook please."

    We found out through friends that my now ex MIL had posted a pic on Facebook of DD & I in the hospital, right after giving birth!!!! Pretty much the most private, sacred moment of my life! XH got her to remove it immediately.

    Nowadays I do have social media but I'm always slightly conflicted over it! I enjoy having that connection to those in my life I wouldn't normally communicate with from day to day, but I think I'd prefer not to have it. I can't stand seeing the convoluted cr*p my family post - no one ever lives in the moment anymore, only through their Facebook posts.

    Anyway, I digress! Before social media sharing I would just group text or email photos, which I was ok with. Just because most don't think about the implications of social media sharing doesn't mean they are not there, and doesn't remove your right to protect your privacy. I still have to remind my sister when I send her photos that they are private, no posting please!

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)

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    I never post photos of other peoples kids unless i have permission from their parent/s. The only time i usually is for birthday parties for example. I also dont like other people putting up photos of my son because i dont know their friends IRL(other people being my sister for example as she has so many fb friends)

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    Default Advice needed - social media

    I think your reasoning is totally valid and if people don't like then that's is their issues as your kids are not theirs to share it doesn't matter the occasion


    I don't have fb (used to & I didn't put up pics) but dp does and he doesn't even put up any pictures of either boys, my sister doesn't share any pics of her dd but our mum does put the occasional pic up but we both know. I've also changed her settings as to who can see the ones she does put up etc. I have Instagram and I put the odd one there but the people that follow me are people I see all the time no randoms at all.

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)

  16. #9
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    Default Advice needed - social media

    I'm in two minds about this.

    One hand I totally get you not wanting your kids photos on social media.... but what happens with weddings and big family gatherings? Crop your children out? Ask them to sit out of the photo? People more and more rely on Facebook not to share but to easily store their photos. And then family and friends have copies but without your children and I find that sad.

    Where do you draw the line? On a school website where awards are given or a parent filming where your child is in a play? They are entitled to show off their children too.

    My family and I have settings on fb so only our friends can see them. I used to be weary of Facebook and only set up an account a few months ago. With the right settings things can be controlled.

    What is it that you have a problem with about your kids being in a photo shared amongst friends and family? I can understand if was just your kids alone- but a birthday party or whatever. Not a nasty question but genuinely curious.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 26-02-2017 at 07:44.

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    HillDweller  (26-02-2017),LoveLivesHere  (26-02-2017),Mod-Wise Enough  (26-02-2017),MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)

  18. #10
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    It is definitely your right, when DS was born we told all our family & friends that no photos of him where to be posted online. We have only ever had to ask for 1 photo to be taken down. We use an app called tweekaboo to share photos with family & friends. We have posted a few pics of him online but they are ones we have put we control which pics & how many.

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    MrsMummaButterfly  (26-02-2017)


 

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