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  1. #51
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    Default how messy is your house?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdgirl View Post
    Oh for those who get anxiety from mess or dirtiness, why do you think that is??
    My mother used to be like this. She says my father made her like it because he was super clean and neat to the extreme. I think she's always been like it though because she tells me stories of when she used to help out as a kid.
    After years of hanging out with me and ending up with cfs she is much less stressed about it now but she still has it in her.

    Does this happen to one in childhood or are people born like it?
    I'm pretty sure I was born anxious..when I was younger messiness didn't bother me one bit! It's definitely been an adult development. I remember being frequently uncomfortable socially as a kid even though I socialised well with other kids & had friends. I'd ask my mum to enrol me in things like brownies, dancing, gymnastics.. Then once I was there I'd be almost frozen with anxiety- I'd tell my mum that 'everyone is looking at me' & then flatly refuse to participate. I was painfully shy. I don't know where it came from really bcos neither of my parents are that way. Infact both are very laid back & easy going. And mabye I'd have been even worse if I hadn't had such cruisy, great parents..

    My psychologist told me once that as long as it didn't become obsessive, that cleaning was a great way to to burn off anxiety. 'Activity with a purpose' she called it (as I've mentioned in a previous post). And I know that it really does work for me. It makes me feel more in control. When the environment around me is messy, inside my head feels messy too & out of control.

    In the end for me it's not really about the mess itself.. I'd say for me the anxiety comes first, it's caused by other internal/external factors...
    and then if there's mess around me it just gets worse.
    Last edited by Charlie74; 26-02-2017 at 20:06.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie74 View Post
    I'm pretty sure I was born anxious..when I was younger messiness didn't bother me one bit! It's definitely been an adult development. I remember being frequently uncomfortable socially as a kid even though I socialised well with other kids & had friends. I'd ask my mum to enrol me in things like brownies, dancing, gymnastics.. Then once I was there I'd be almost frozen with anxiety- I'd tell my mum that 'everyone is looking at me' & then flatly refuse to participate. I was painfully shy. I don't know where it came from really bcos neither of my parents are that way. Infact both are very laid back & easy going. And mabye I'd have been even worse if I hadn't had such cruisy, great parents..

    My psychologist told me once that as long as it didn't become obsessive, that cleaning was a great way to to burn off anxiety. 'Activity with a purpose' she called it (as I've mentioned in a previous post). And I know that it really does work for me. It makes me feel more in control. When the environment around me is messy, inside my head feels messy too & out of control.

    In the end for me it's not really about the mess itself.. I'd say for me the anxiety comes first, it's caused by other internal/external factors...
    and then if there's mess around me it just gets worse.
    How does this work with others in the house? My house is out of control, so cluttered and messy. I have a skip bin coming tomorrow. Yay!!!!
    Hubby and the kids never put anything away, I ask, I yell, I scream, I refuse activities (going to the park etc) until things are clean and they can't or won't do it.

  3. #53
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    Mine is extremely messy and often dirty.
    With a baby that doesn't sleep, two older kids who go to school a three hour trip each way (I don't drive), and a husband that doesn't help.... I just cannot keep on top of it.
    On a good day, I get two loads of laundry and dishes done.
    On a regular day, I get one load washed and bottles done- that load gets washed repeatedly until I finally have a minute to hang it, and will then often stay on the line long enough to need washing again

    Floors... I honestly cannot recall the last time I mopped them, but I sweep them often (when bub is in high chair).

    ETA: doing the toilets seem so pointless in this house. I swear I am the only one who actually 'aims'... ugh. I did clean them two days ago as we had guests over. First time in months my house has been reasonably tidy.
    It was a tip again by midday today...
    Last edited by DT75; 26-02-2017 at 21:07.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleWoman View Post
    How does this work with others in the house? My house is out of control, so cluttered and messy. I have a skip bin coming tomorrow. Yay!!!!
    Hubby and the kids never put anything away, I ask, I yell, I scream, I refuse activities (going to the park etc) until things are clean and they can't or won't do it.
    I have 2 school aged kids and one toddler that is a human whirlwind that at 2 still doesn't sleep through the night. I also run a business that is quite a bit of work. I just set myself goals like I would in a job and make it happen. My days are very busy but as I said, my anxiety means I can't sit in a mess. I'm home so manage to fit everything in, although some days it's hard.

  5. #55
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    Hygienic - always. And clean. Food areas, bins, toilet & bathroom are clean. Floors are cleaned regularly, bedding, towels etc changed, curtains get the occasional wash. Bathmats washed, shower scrubbed, Fridge and microwave get cleaned.

    However its pretty much never neat and tidy! Theres always toys or books or paperwork to put away, washing to be folded etc. And the garden is a work in progress that's very slowly improving.

    Just aren't enough hours in a day for me
    Last edited by DynamiteandaLazerBeam; 26-02-2017 at 23:02.

  6. #56
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    For me never. But that is a struggle with children. But it is husband that never puts anything back where he found it. arghhhh. that is most frustrating.

    Right now i am organising the spare room and the garage post moving house. It has been a source of frustration because Im always getting called to work. And post move I slipped a disc, so was laid up for 2 weeks. I hate being this untidy.

    I got called to work today I didn't answer because i really really need to do this. Plus put the washing away.

  7. #57
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    My house is extremely messy. I actually get embarrassed about it. I try to keep it a bit clean and tidy but both my kids are little hurricanes of mess - if I'm cleaning in the lounge room, they would have destroyed the play room! Once we get our credit card debt under control I am planning on hiring a weekly cleaner

  8. #58
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    It was clean for 2 days. It isn't dirty but it is a little messy atm. If I could have 10 mins without kids following me it would be clean though.

  9. #59
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    Pretty neat. I'm a bit of a freak about it. I do stay up late at night to get things done though, which is not good but I prefer to start the day with a clean house rather than with yesterday's stuff still to do.

    It does get messy easily, so I try to keep on top of it.

    I do admit that I should focus less on cleaning each day and spend more time with the kids, that's something to work on.

    Having said all of this though, I have heap of ironing that's waiting for me in the living room! It's the one thing that always gets missed.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    This thread reminds me of my MIL.
    When I mentioned to her I didn't enjoy my mat leave with either of my kids- I found it isolating and samey- she told me it was because I didn't spend enough of that time cleaning- yes she pulled out the "tidy house, tidy mind" line and therefore didn't enjoy being at home as it wasn't pristine. She didn't understand I had 2 demanding kids and a dog and I couldn't just clean the whole day. She was obsessive to the point it was unhealthy and didn't let her kids do anything fun as she was worried about the mess.

    I like a clean house, don't get me wrong, but when it gets messy/dirty again as soon as I clean it I've kinda given up.

    I like to think I have a happy medium. Not obsessively clean, but not a pigsty (well mostly). I let things go when I want or need to and get back on the bandwagon when I can be stuffed.

    The key is to have visitors regularly. That's a big motivator in my books to pull my finger out and tidy up.
    When my mil comes I end up feeling depressed as she spends all day cleaning. I used to love that she cleaned our house but now it just reminds me that this house would require that level of housework on a daily basis to just look half ok. And she's the ultimate 1950's housewife so trying to explain my frustration about wasting my life trying to keep this damn house tidy is lost on her cus I should be down on my knees in gratitude to her son that I don't have to work!! Sorry tangent, just saw mil and cleaning in this post and it got me fired up!! I'd love a clean and tidy house and if I could persuade my family to downsize I think we could have one. But right now to me spending every moment on these mundane chores would not be living

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    Bluebirdgirl  (02-03-2017)


 

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