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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    In public my kids are absolute angels. You've rarely seen such well behaved kids. They love being out at at the shops or at a friends house. So I can see how if you saw us you would think it's always like that.

    However at home it's game on. I have a 5yo and a 3yo. My parents took my daughter to school this week. They got her up at 7. School starts at 9 and they were there just before 10. She played up so badly they couldn't get her dressed or do her hair. And she's 5.

    I'm just going to add a pic to describe my 3yo. It's lipstick. Stuff like this happens all the time.Attachment 89121

    Some days you have to laugh or you'll cry. I agree with the others, lower your expectations. Have fun. They're only little for a very short time. I look back at what I expected of my first daughter and feel bad as she was still so so little.
    OMG that's hilarious.

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  3. #82
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    Hahaha! Look at that face! She's not sorry!

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  5. #83
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    Expectations are hard, but here's the thing...
    Expect that they won't listen!
    Have boundaries (don't let them hurt/damage Eric), and enforce me calmly. "You need to give me the pen or I'm going to take it." Take said pen. It kind of doesn't matter then whether they listen or not. Boundaries still get enforced.

    So much easier said than done, I know, I'm still working on it... But I think in that scenario i'd have a 50% chance of my 4 year old listening; close to 0% with my toddler.

  6. #84
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    Default Toddler refuses to listen

    I found that at this age the naughty corner started having some effect, but distraction would be best.

    Tv is a wonderful babysitter. I would have gone insane without it. Sometimes you need to forgo your ideal methods and try something that you may have previously thought was wrong.

    I hated the idea of cosleeping but ds1 shot that idea down, it was the only way I'd get any rest.

    The main thing is that you are consistent - whether it's food, sleep patterns or behaviour.

    Don't expect him to understand once - you need to do something for 2 weeks straight for them to start to grasp the concept.

    Please take some of the advice that's been offered in your posts, you may find some of it works.
    Last edited by misho; 02-03-2017 at 14:32.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    In public my kids are absolute angels. You've rarely seen such well behaved kids. They love being out at at the shops or at a friends house. So I can see how if you saw us you would think it's always like that.

    However at home it's game on. I have a 5yo and a 3yo. My parents took my daughter to school this week. They got her up at 7. School starts at 9 and they were there just before 10. She played up so badly they couldn't get her dressed or do her hair. And she's 5.

    I'm just going to add a pic to describe my 3yo. It's lipstick. Stuff like this happens all the time.Attachment 89121

    Some days you have to laugh or you'll cry. I agree with the others, lower your expectations. Have fun. They're only little for a very short time. I look back at what I expected of my first daughter and feel bad as she was still so so little.
    This may be my favourite post ever

    Words are 100% correct and that image is priceless. Love it!

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  9. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    In public my kids are absolute angels. You've rarely seen such well behaved kids. They love being out at at the shops or at a friends house. So I can see how if you saw us you would think it's always like that.

    However at home it's game on. I have a 5yo and a 3yo. My parents took my daughter to school this week. They got her up at 7. School starts at 9 and they were there just before 10. She played up so badly they couldn't get her dressed or do her hair. And she's 5.

    I'm just going to add a pic to describe my 3yo. It's lipstick. Stuff like this happens all the time.Attachment 89121

    Some days you have to laugh or you'll cry. I agree with the others, lower your expectations. Have fun. They're only little for a very short time. I look back at what I expected of my first daughter and feel bad as she was still so so little.
    This is the best thing I've ever seen! She is a legend!

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  11. #87
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    She was just so damn thorough!!

    And yes zero remorse!!

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  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    She was just so damn thorough!!

    And yes zero remorse!!
    That would have taken so long to wash off!

    Your post (words and photo) are spot on. You genuinely do just have to laugh or you'll cry most days! Until a few months ago DS1 was an angel in public as well, nobody ever saw him have a tantrum and although 'busy' was reasonably easy to keep under control. I always received comments on what a good boy he was, and I was like 'ummm trust me, he saves it for when he's at home with me.' In all honesty, overall he is pretty good, but sometimes you're just so exhausted it's hard to see it. A friend just asked me how often he has a tantrum (once a day, twice a week?). At first I wanted to laugh and answer 'multiple times a day!' But when I actually thought about it, no he doesn't. He didn't have a tantrum yesterday. This morning he cried about something but it wasn't a tantrum. Yes I find him exhausting every day, but when I force myself to think about it he's actually a pretty good kid.

    Before I became pregnant with ds2, ds1 only ever watched tv in the morning while I got ready. Never in the late afternoon or evening as I didn't want him to become 'overstimulated' from it. Then I became pregnant and constantly sick and exhausted and couldn't bear the time after bath, wrestling him trying to get him dressed, so I started putting on 'in the night garden' and giving him milk so that he'd lay down on the floor quietly so I could get him creamed up and dressed for bed. That routine has continued and it's fine, in fact I think it totally helps him just calm down at the end of the day. He knows he gets one show and then turns the tv off and goes into his room for stories. I'm home by myself with no help and a baby so the tv is on any time I need to get something done for the baby (put him to sleep, feed him) as that's my best chance of having ds1 stay in another room quietly. You just have to do hat works sometimes even if it goes against what you swore you would never do.

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  15. #89
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    She looked very sunburnt for a few days .

    Tonight she put a pin in her mouth and it got stuck and wedged her mouth open . I mean I'm glad it got stuck so she didn't swallow it... but omg that would have been so painful! I was at work my poor dad had to work the pin out of a hysterical little girls mouth.

    So back to the original poster, remember I said I had the "good in public" children. This is what kids do. They get into stuff they aren't meant to and send us bonkers.

    One thing I'm priding myself on as a parent is teaching my kids negotiation. I want them to have those skills later in life. When I say no to something, if they can come up with a logical argument or reason I will change my mind. I don't want it to be a dictatorship where I say jump and they say how high. I want them to question things. To work out what they want and how they're going to get it. Although it probably makes my life harder I don't want them to be submissive.

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  17. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    One thing I'm priding myself on as a parent is teaching my kids negotiation. I want them to have those skills later in life. When I say no to something, if they can come up with a logical argument or reason I will change my mind. I don't want it to be a dictatorship where I say jump and they say how high. I want them to question things. To work out what they want and how they're going to get it. Although it probably makes my life harder I don't want them to be submissive.
    I like this.

    DS has sometimes come up with interesting points/ideas sometimes. I will have to keep this in mind for him.


 

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