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  1. #41
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    He is 2.5. This is what they do. I know it's so bloody frustrating and stressful but it's normal, and actually part of his development. He's testing boundaries, learning to assert himself as an independent person from you. He's learnt cause and effect i.e. he does something like this he gets a reaction/attention. He's not listening bc he's not far beyond being a baby (I consider under 2 a baby, over 2 a toddler). He's got his attention set on that pen and hasn't developed the skills to multi task.

    Honestly, I think you expect far too much from him.

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  3. #42
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    In this case, i wouldn't have picked him up when he had a pen in his hand, or put him down straightaway to grab the pen, or grabbed it with the shopping bag hand if i thought there was any real danger from it.

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    He is 2.5. This is what they do. I know it's so bloody frustrating and stressful but it's normal, and actually part of his development. He's testing boundaries, learning to assert himself as an independent person from you. He's learnt cause and effect i.e. he does something like this he gets a reaction/attention. He's not listening bc he's not far beyond being a baby (I consider under 2 a baby, over 2 a toddler). He's got his attention set on that pen and hasn't developed the skills to multi task.

    Honestly, I think you expect far too much from him.
    He's my first so I have absolutely no idea what is age appropriate expectations.

    All I can go off is the other kids his age I know. All of them, I have witnessed numerous times - their mum says something once & they immediately stop. So I thought that was normal. Maybe it's not, but that was all I had to go off so thats what I went off

    Now I don't know what to change my expectations too because I don't know what is normal behaviour & age appropriate.

    I don't have any good experiences with community child health & have no-one else that I can ask

  6. #44
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    I've just enrolled in the triple P program because I'm finding DD's behaviour very challenging (she's also 2.5), it's 3 sessions over 3 weeks and has a crèche. It's a general program about how to deal with toddler behaviour.
    Is that something you could look into?

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    Of course you get tots who are very quiet and compliant. Which I would say is normal too. But my eldest who is now in high school - she is the quintessential nerd. Never ever been in trouble at school. Model student. She got into things heaps at your son's age. Tried to run off. Didn't always listen.

    And my experience and that of mother's around me, is that *generally* boys are worse. They are more everything. More noisy, more devilish, more hyper. Again, of course there are placid little boys not like that. But usually boys are worse at this age.

    Get down to his level make him make eye contact with you to break that concentration then give him clear direction. He still may buck at doing what you tell him to, but he'll hear you.

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  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosey82 View Post
    I've just enrolled in the triple P program because I'm finding DD's behaviour very challenging (she's also 2.5), it's 3 sessions over 3 weeks and has a crèche. It's a general program about how to deal with toddler behaviour.
    Is that something you could look into?
    If I could find one that was 3 sessions over 3 weeks on one of my days off & had a crèche I'd definitely do it. I'm struggling with it online & I've been searching for somewhere to do it face to face for months - no-where runs it on weekends & the places that run it during the week don't have any child minding.

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  11. #47
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    I think my daughter is very close in age to your son.
    I have not a chance of her giving me back pens or pencils. Usually she does a runner.
    Where did the pen come from?

    My girl is still into EVERYTHING. The house is still nearly 100% baby proofed.
    She still does manage to get things she shouldn't have like pens and pencils cos I have older kids who leave them around.
    Some kids just love getting into everything.
    Maybe you can go over things again in the house and make sure all things that will stress you are away from his reach.

    He does sound quite usual like a lot of the other ladies have said.
    What to do in these situations? You just roll with it.
    I do think it's way too much to expect him to listen all the time. My daughter probably only listens to about half of what I say. I don't think that's really abnormal for 2.
    Other kids who are really obedient at this age are the exception not the rule for certain.

    I'm wondering if you are taking any of the suggestions or opinions on board??

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  13. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdgirl View Post
    I have not a chance of her giving me back pens or pencils. Usually she does a runner.
    This made me chuckle. My 23 month old will give me a busted look, then try to bolt as well Little monkeys they are.

  14. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdgirl View Post
    I think my daughter is very close in age to your son.
    I have not a chance of her giving me back pens or pencils. Usually she does a runner.
    Where did the pen come from?

    My girl is still into EVERYTHING. The house is still nearly 100% baby proofed.
    She still does manage to get things she shouldn't have like pens and pencils cos I have older kids who leave them around.
    Some kids just love getting into everything.
    Maybe you can go over things again in the house and make sure all things that will stress you are away from his reach.

    He does sound quite usual like a lot of the other ladies have said.
    What to do in these situations? You just roll with it.
    I do think it's way too much to expect him to listen all the time. My daughter probably only listens to about half of what I say. I don't think that's really abnormal for 2.
    Other kids who are really obedient at this age are the exception not the rule for certain.

    I'm wondering if you are taking any of the suggestions or opinions on board??
    He had completely refused to walk into daycare, which is why I ended up carrying him & two bags. He grabbed the pen off the counter at daycare as we went past.

    Our house is still completely babyproofed

    I'm taking things on board, I'm just struggling to figure out what are appropriate expectations for his age in general.

    Plus things like that honestly do frustrate me. Maybe I do need to somehow adjust my expectations, but I'm also not a saint - I didn't really appreciate being stabbed in the eye with a pen, especially when I'd asked him 5 times to put it down. I just felt like it didn't have to happen.

  15. #50
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    A toddler's frontal cortex isn't developed enough to control their urges. Once they've got the idea to do something, their little brains are screaming at them to do it. I'd call my dd relatively compliant and there's no chance she would have followed an instruction to drop the pen unless she could see I was taking it anyway. Unfortunately that is an unrealistic expectation at that age. In your situation I still would have firmly asked him to "give me the pen." I would have provided a short reason why but I would have been kneeling down and dropping everything at the same time so I could take it from him. My dd tends to follow instructions more willingly if I give a short reason why I want her to do something. I don't know if that's just her though.


 

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