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  1. #11
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    Our house is definitely toddler proofed! It's like fort Knox!

    I'm trying to pick my battles more, but when he keeps pulling the plate of food I'm currently in the process of preparing onto the floor it's pretty frustrating. I guess if he wants to eat off the floor that's his choice, but he was doing it with my lunch as well.

  2. #12
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    It's normal.

    I know, well and truly how hard this is, but seeing it as a problem that needs to be changed will not help. It will stress you out, stress your son out and have you resenting him.

    My advice:
    Pick your battles
    Think about whether you absolutely cannot let him do something, or whether you just don't want to.
    Think about what he's trying to do, and give him a way to fulfil that - if he's up at the bench, tell him what he can do to help. If he pulls things down, put him somewhere that he can't get to the bench. Tell him "I can't let you do that".
    There's no point arguing with a 2 year old. You won't win.

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  4. #13
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    Have you read about their brain development at this age? They aren't developmentally able to listen & comprehend. You might find you have success with commands about 30% of the time.

    It's such a hard stage. 2&1/2yo's make me shudder!

  5. #14
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    Even picking my battles, the power struggles are just huge. My non negotiables are sunscreen, teeth brushing & nappy changes.

    Usually to accomplish those things it involves me restraining him because nothing else works & it's really draining & frustrating.

  6. #15
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    P.s, you definitely need to reconsider your expectations. Otherwise you'll continually be frustrated & yelling. Be consistent with your instructions, boundaries & discipline & know that this stage passes & your efforts into positive behavior management will pay off.

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  8. #16
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    You probably already do this but make sure you get down to his level and get eye contact when you tell him something.

  9. #17
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    Do you have a visual chart? Does he respond to rewards?

  10. #18
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    No we don't have a reward chart as yet.

    I think he would respond to rewards but I'm not sure what to use - he isn't motivated by stamps or stickers & I won't use food rewards. Anyone have any ideas?

  11. #19
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    Default Toddler refuses to listen

    I have a 2.5 year old too, a few tricks that seem to work for my kid are:

    - natural consequences (within reason obviously). If he throws his food on with floor then what? He might cry/tantrum, natural consequence is that he's upset his food is on the floor and then has to have something he might not prefer instead. Ask him to help clean up and show him you can't just make a mess. Hopefully a lesson is learnt and he doesn't do it again.

    - positive reinforcement. This works absolute wonders for my toddler. I literally praise every single good thing he does. If he's good in the car, puts his bowl in the kitchen, plays or sits quietly at the dr, holds my hand in car parks etc etc I tell him he's a wonderful boy and so so good and how pleased I am with him. I also give lots of kisses and cuddles throughout the day. This works really really well on my little guy.

    - adjust expectations if he's just not having a good day eg sick, tired, emotional for whatever reason. Everyone has bad days and crap moods, toddlers are no exception. You can't get too angry when they haven't had enough sleep or are getting over a bug.

    - I really try and minimise being cross at DS over minor things, Of course he makes me cross sometimes but doing this means when I really have to tell him off about something (eg running on the road) he listens and gets quite upset that I'm cross at him. My parents used to yell at us all the time and eventually it really just doesn't have any impact. I guess this is where choose your battles comes into it and think through if this is a big deal in the grand scheme of things or not.

    Its definitely not easy but hopefully with some more support and time you'll get through this tough stage.

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  13. #20
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    Default Toddler refuses to listen

    I think whilst it's great that you don't want to use food rewards, and in another post you mentioned iPads/tablets.... but why make it harder for yourself?

    I had all these fantastic ideas on how to parent- I've since learnt that if I'm not coping and it's not working- f... it.

    Anyways, I personally think trying to change/modify his behaviour is a moot point and you need to work on getting your anxiety and ability to cope sorted.

    Best of luck.

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