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  1. #1
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    Default Toddler refuses to listen

    How do I get my 2 1/2 year old to listen to anything I say?

    He just ignores me. I end up saying things over & over & over & over again, getting more & more frustrated & it doesn't help.

    Like as an example, I was attempting to prepare lunch for both of us at the breakfast bar. He had a stool so he could help, but he didn't want to. He can reach things on the breakfast bar without a stool & he just kept on & on grabbing things, including the plates of food, & pulling them off the breakfast bar onto the floor. The first time he did it I took the stool away but he kept doing it. I probably asked him calmly not to about 5 times before I got angry. He literally ignored me. I tried to distract, redirect etc, nothing worked.

    In the end I told him unless he sat down & read a book he wasn't getting any lunch. He still ignored me & kept pulling things off the bench. So I walked over to the bin with his plate & pretended to throw his lunch out. So he started screaming but STILL wouldn't go & sit down & leave the things on the breakfast bar alone. I ended up yelling at him & he FINALLY cooperated.

    This is basically what happens in any scenario where I ask him to do something or not to do something.

    What am i doing wrong??

    Just to note, we've taken him for a hearing test, nothing is wrong. He also rarely gets ear infections, he's only ever had one since he was born.

  2. #2
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    Welcome to the Terrible 2s?

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  4. #3
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    There is a reason we call them the 'terrible 2's'! Sorry, it's just a really challenging time. In the situation you were in, I probably would have set up our portacot as a time-out space, put him in the portacot, and let him scream/ tantrum until you were finished lunch. Or pop them in the highchair with a handful of sultanas or dry cereal - they would likely get thrown everywhere, but oh well - I'd sweep them later. 2 year olds suck ������ But you're not alone.
    Last edited by cheeeeesecake; 24-02-2017 at 13:47.

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  6. #4
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    This behaviour isn't new, he's done it since he was one. I'm just struggling more as he gets older & is even more defiant.

    He can climb out of the portacot & the playpen & his cot & he only has a booster, no highchair - if he doesn't want to go into it then it's like wrestling a 16kg wreathing, kicking, hitting, headbutting, ripping hair out, biting octopus into it

  7. #5
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    ETA: peppa pig is also a winner in our house. 5 mins per episode - I play 1-2 episodes to prepare lunch if I have to, the. 1-2 episodes to clean it up. I also ofteb prep lunch in the morning while I'm cleaning up dinner & the kids arent too feral yet. I also often prep dinner while I'm cleaning up lunch - toddlers are much easier and more reasonable when their tummy is full after a meal! There is no way my 2yo would ait and read a book if she was in a destructive, pre- lunch kind of mood.

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  9. #6
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    Default Toddler refuses to listen

    @allatsea

    It sounds like you are really struggling- with everything. You have started many threads and I think it's great you're seeking advice but I think it may be skirting around the true issue.


    There have been many responses and advice from posters here but it seems like nothing is helping. Your boy sounds wonderfully yet painfully strong willed 2 year old, it is a challenging age for most of us, but it shouldn't be THIS hard.

    I don't mean for this to come across as rude but do you suffer from anxiety or seek help at all for yourself to improve your coping skills?

    ETA: I just feel so bad that you don't seem to be enjoying your little boy at all - my apologies if that impression is wrong
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 24-02-2017 at 13:57.

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  11. #7
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    Yes I have anxiety, I'm seeing a psychologist.

    I have attempted to get parenting help but still trying to find the best option. Triple P was all too advanced for his age when we first tried it & we found it pretty useless. Now we don't have a functioning computer & it keeps crashing my phone & no-one runs Triple P group sessions on weekends (weekends are my only option unless I bring an exhuberant & high energy defiant 2 1/2 year old to the classes). Circle of security was good for understanding the reason behind the behaviour but gave no strategies whatsoever for actually dealing with the behaviour when it occured. I've seen a developmental paediatrician & this is apparently all normal, nothing flagged in terms of his development or behaviour. I'm also seeing someone through community child health, which isn't very helpful, but I'm seeing it through to the end in case I get something out of it. So not really sure what other options there are for parenting help

  12. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    ETA: peppa pig is also a winner in our house. 5 mins per episode - I play 1-2 episodes to prepare lunch if I have to, the. 1-2 episodes to clean it up. I also ofteb prep lunch in the morning while I'm cleaning up dinner & the kids arent too feral yet. I also often prep dinner while I'm cleaning up lunch - toddlers are much easier and more reasonable when their tummy is full after a meal! There is no way my 2yo would ait and read a book if she was in a destructive, pre- lunch kind of mood.
    Yep. Short episodes of a tv show are a winner and life saver for us too! Amazing what you can get done in 5 min of Peppa Pig!

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  14. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    This behaviour isn't new, he's done it since he was one. I'm just struggling more as he gets older & is even more defiant.

    He can climb out of the portacot & the playpen & his cot & he only has a booster, no highchair - if he doesn't want to go into it then it's like wrestling a 16kg wreathing, kicking, hitting, headbutting, ripping hair out, biting octopus into it

    "My toddler is completely placid and reasonable", said no one, ever. My 2 year old is exactly the same - I am lucky she is small so wrestling her is a little easier.

    I noticed in another theead you are TTC - I don't know how to say this without sounding completey brutally honest - but it is going to be 10x more difficult with a toddler and a newborn. You will be feeding the baby or trying to put it to sleep and your toddler will be doing this totally normal toddler behaviour, but you wont be able to deal with it because you have a baby to deal with - it's very difficult! I now have a 6 year old, 4 year old, 2 year old and am 38 weeks pregnant. I have to juggle all of those behaviours at once, and sometimes it is difficult - my best advice ever would be to be adaptable. Use the tv or a screen for the times you are pulling your hair out. Have chicken nuggets for dinner because the 2year old is being a little sh!t and you cant take 20 minutes out to cook a proper meal. When he is happy/ quiet - use those 5 minutes to do everything you need to do that day, like prepping lunch. As I said earlier, my kids are always happiest straight after a meal, so i use that time to prep the next meal. Adapt to him instead of expecting him to adapt to your normal routines (like prepping lunch), be creative, find what works and go with it. Let go of your view of 'ideal' parenting and do what works.

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  16. #10
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    He is 2. They dom't listen lol. Same with 3 and I am guessing 4.

    Get down to his level. Use the least amount of words as possible.

    Use positive language over 'no' and 'don't'.

    Don't use portacot/cot/playpen and instead toddler proof.

    I tended to let things go quite a bit as long as he does not hurt himself or someone else.


 

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