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  1. #1
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    Default Are you assertive?

    Do you consider yourself assertive, or do you struggle with asserting yourself?

    I thought about a situation that occurred yesterday. I was in a Woolworths and approached the deli. There was a woman with a trolley being served at the deli, but her trolley was placed directly in front of the ticket dispenser.

    There was another lady who was kind of pacing around, looking slightly annoyed because she obviously thought it was too awkward to grab a ticket. I went straight up to the ticket dispenser, reached over the woman's trolley and grabbed two tickets. I gave the other woman the next number so she would be served before me. She was thankful, but I wondered why she didn't just do it herself? I'm guessing she felt awkward or even maybe rude to reach over like I did, but for me it was simply what had to be done!

    Are you a jump in and grab the ticket kind of person, or a say nothing but be annoyed type?

  2. #2
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    SuperGranny is online now Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I wouldn't say nothing and waste my time pacing about. I would say excuse me if I had to really stretch over the other trolley, but I would just do what has to be done. So many people have no idea of the space they are occupying, they can stand right in the middle of the aisle and just be totally unaware of anyone around them. I am assertive enough to ask for help if I cant reach the top shelf, and that happens often. marie.

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  4. #3
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    Default Are you assertive?

    For me, it depends. I have really bad social anxiety so often I will stand behind someone quietly saying "excuse me" 10 times before I give up and go around down the next aisle or something. If I'm in a bad mood though, it sometimes overrules it, but then I come across as a jerk (which I realise and it strikes up my anxiety). I would just assume she was like me. Maybe she asked the lady to move the trolley but was too Mousey and quiet the lady didn't hear her and she didn't have enough in her to try again.

    Oh and to answer. If it was me, I would probably try asking her to move but if it didn't work, I would go do some more shopping else where and then go back again later on.

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    I would just say excuse me and reach over. If she was not touching the trolley I might even move it slightly so I could access the tickets (with a smile and excuse me), obviously I wouldn't touch the trolley if there was a child in there.
    Agree with @SuperGranny people are so oblivious to other shoppers I think it's got to be done.

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  7. #5
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    In this situation I'm more of an "excuse me" person. I think it's because, even though I have anxiety, it's a relatively "low risk" situation for me. Low likelihood of blow up.
    In other situations I'm less likely to step up if I feel like it could go awry

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  9. #6
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    I would say excuse me (so she knows she's in the way of everyone) and reach over and get a ticket. If I couldn't reach I'd definitely say excuse me I can't reach the ticket machine. If I couldn't reach and the trolley was unattended (say the owner is down the other end picking out her ham) I'd move it.
    I actually think the lady huffing and puffing and pacing is super passive aggressive and that would really p!ss me off. Sometimes I might be in someone's way and not realize it - the only way I'm going to realize is if you politely point it out to me so I can move. Not saying anything and getting more and more annoyed because I'm not a mind reader is not helpful to anyone.

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    When it comes to my son I'm assertive and maybe even aggressive if he doesn't get what he needs, but not for myself.
    Though in that case I'd probably just say excuse me can I have a ticket please if I couldn't reach across her trolley.

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    Yes, I am, and I like that about myself. I speak up to line pusher-inners, people smoking in the wrong places (and in my/my kid's faces), bad meals at restaurants, wrong prices at shops. You name it, I'm not having it. Must be my way of letting out the daily stress of mothering

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  14. #9
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    I have absolutely no problem speaking up and would have said excuse me no problem, I'm quite extroverted and when I was younger I was more aggressive about speaking up about anything and everything but now I only say something if someone is being hurt or it's really important but pushers in or bad meals I don't waste my energy as it really doesn't get you anywhere

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    On most days, I would say excuse me, and reach across if I could, or wait for her to move. I don't think I would touch her trolley in any circumstances, but only because I have seen a few people have a go at other shoppers for doing the same thing, even though they were obviously right in the way and had been so for way too long. If they didn't hear me or ignored me, and it was one of the few things left to get, I probably would have hovered. Asking more than a couple of times would make my anxiety increase. The more anxious I get the more likely I am to forget things on my list, and the crankier I will be when I get home and am half way through meal prep and don't have my feta or something!


 

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