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  1. #11
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    If you can access your local library, I am sure there are books about toilet training, but I don't really expect your dh to read any of them. I think you have found the start of your problem. You have described your dh as the most stubborn man on the planet, and I guess your little boy is just taking after his dad. If you continue to have the battles every day over every thing, you will be getting nowhere. Maybe you need to try a different approach. good luck, marie.

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  3. #12
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    I would try changing your approach, don't ask him if he needs to use the loo, tell him it's TIME to.

    I don't really agree that bribing doesn't work or mean he's not ready, you just have to find what motivates him. We started off with a sticker chart which was fine for wees but we had a hard time with poos. Mostly because DS1 go from 0 to poo in like 5 seconds but also because he didn't like staying on the toilet when the poo came out, it really freaked him out. After a few poo accidents, in pants and next to the toilet, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Then I got the idea of buying a cheap little tub of toy dinosaurs, every time he made it to the toilet for a poo he could pick a dinosaur. I also let him watch something on my phone to keep him from jumping off the toilet when he got scared. He immediately gradually got better making it to the toilet and the accidents became further apart. Now he goes completely fine on his own and doesn't expect a dinosaur or the use of my phone. You just have to figure out what works for your specific child. The library also has heaps of books to appeal to various parenting styles.

  4. #13
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    Daycare have said that this is the approach they take - 'ok, time to go to the toilet'. Of course he listens to them. Still flat out refuses if I say that so then I have to attempt to make him

    When we do go out for the first time in undies:

    How do you do anything? Like go places with carpet as the wee will be hard to clean up & will stink. I can't avoid everywhere with carpet.

    And what about my car seat? I know you aren't meant to add anything to the seat & I don't have a spare cover. If he does one of his enormous wees he'll just have to sit in a soaking wet seat, which doesn't seem very fair.

    Also, what do I use to clean up when out? At home we use Terry flats. Sometimes his wees are huge. Paper towel really isn't going to cut it. I feel like I'd need a suitcase if I'm taking enough towels to clean up & changes of clothes - especially as I'm not always driving, often walking with a pram (tiny basket) or on public transport. So can't just leave it in the car.
    Last edited by allatsea; 07-03-2017 at 19:18.

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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    Daycare have said that this is the approach they take - 'ok, time to go to the toilet'. Of course he listens to them. Still flat out refuses if I say that so then I have to attempt to make him

    When we do go out for the first time in undies:

    How do you do anything? Like go places with carpet as the wee will be hard to clean up & will stink. I can't avoid everywhere with carpet.

    And what about my car seat? I know you aren't meant to add anything to the seat & I don't have a spare cover. If he does one of his enormous wees he'll just have to sit in a soaking wet seat, which doesn't seem very fair.

    Also, what do I use to clean up when out? At home we use Terry flats. Sometimes his wees are huge. Paper towel really isn't going to cut it. I feel like I'd need a suitcase if I'm taking enough towels to clean up & changes of clothes - especially as I'm not always driving, often walking with a pram (tiny basket) or on public transport. So can't just leave it in the car.
    We used pull up pants the huggies ones. They really are quite useful for this situation.
    My daughter, once she was fully trained, refused to wet them and that was the first time she used a toilet when out. The first time she held on til we went to the toilet.
    You can't take a kid who's not fully toilet trained out in just undies. Well I would not! For all the reasons you mentioned.
    There are also cloth alternatives I'm pretty sure. So pop those on and try toilet breaks when out.

    Btw trying to make him go, I've done it with my daughter because she used to hold on all day, I don't feel like it's the best thing.
    If all this refusal is going on he needs a break. It really is a power struggle now.

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    When we went out and I was worried about accidents, I used these type of training pants:

    http://www.bestandless.com.au/Baby-C...PANTS/p/491651

    I purchased mine from big W. They still felt the wet when they had an accident, bt it meant the wee didn't make such a huge mess. I found it a better alternative to pull-ups, because my kids just treated pull-ups like a nappy. You can get some pretty heavy duty ones, or wear two pairs at once. But accidents WILL happen, and it will be embarrassing sometimes. I had a child do a big wee on the carpet in a toystore once And also one of my kids weed all over the fabric seat in a waiting room Both times pretty embarrassing, and not much I could do to fix it. I offered to clean up and have them dry cleaned, but both times the staff were extremely understanding and kind about it, thank god! Apart from that, usually i would bring a towel, a plastic bag, and a few spare pairs of clothes everywhere I went. I made my child sit on the towel if on carpet or someones couch, etc. and used it to clean up any accidents. It's all a part of toilet training, unfortunately!

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    Thanks!

    I'm just going to put the potty away completely & put him back in nappies all the time except at daycare & not mention the potty/toilet at all. Hopefully down the track he'll decide he wants to use it & then maybe it won't be the nightmare that it currently is.

    Hopefully that will work

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    Microcibre liners/inserts from MCNs are awesome for accidents when out. They are small but absorb so much liquid (I still use them for spills around the house!). Ditto microfibre cleaning cloths.

    I'd have something like that in a plastic bag along with 2 pairs of jocks and 1 pants. If he had 2 accidents when out then he would have to just wear jocks (theoretically, both my kids were better when out - especially at shopping centres where the parent rooms have the little toilet).

    For the pram/car seat I got a 'piddle pad'. It's designed specifically for this purpose, is thin and has a grippy surface on the underside so it won't create a risk safety-wise.

    Given he does so well at daycare, it does sound like he's ready but I never had luck with rewards at that age, just try and make it stress free and fun.

    Also, my DS loves to wee outside where he can try to aim at something (warning - they have NO aim control at first!!!) so we've used this option a lot to bybass willpower battles.

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    Quote Originally Posted by allatsea View Post
    Thanks!

    I'm just going to put the potty away completely & put him back in nappies all the time except at daycare & not mention the potty/toilet at all. Hopefully down the track he'll decide he wants to use it & then maybe it won't be the nightmare that it currently is.

    Hopefully that will work
    That is confusing to them. If you are toilet training then do it everywhere consistently.

    DS is/was always defiant at home. Just keep doing it.

    You can get training pants with covers if you want to go out. You can also get seat covers (I got them when i bought brolley sheets as the same people make them).

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    That is confusing to them. If you are toilet training then do it everywhere consistently.

    DS is/was always defiant at home. Just keep doing it.

    You can get training pants with covers if you want to go out. You can also get seat covers (I got them when i bought brolley sheets as the same people make them).
    We aren't doing it everywhere consistently now though, because he refuses, so if I just put it all away & don't mention it again for a while I'm hoping it will take the battle out of it.

    He always goes to daycare in a nappy as he refuses to let me send him in undies. I know they change him into undies there, so I'll keep sending some undies in his bag & leave it up to them.

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    My ds has been a complete frustration to tt. Perfect for everyone else but for me was refusing to go near the toilet.
    What helped me was to buy undies of his favourite characters.
    Let him choose which ones he wants to wear. Yes this simple act can sometimes take 20min. But at this age they are discovering their independence so I made the time. If he wanted to go to daycare in a nappy he could in the car then it was straight off into undies at daycare.
    I bought a paw latrol toilet seat dor him which he loves and we keep a big pile of books at the toilet we read through until he does a wee.
    We are now onto day 2 accident free but it has taken me months to get him to tt for me but i kept plugging along because its no big deal if he wees on the floor but he was not going back in the nappy even if he wouldnt sit on the toilet for me.


 

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