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  1. #1
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    Default Toilet training an exceptionally strong willed 2 & a half year old - HELP! :(

    My 2 & a half year old wears undies all day at daycare & happily goes to the toilet.

    He says he wants to wear undies at home, but he flat out refuses to go to the potty or toilet. Usually he fights me & fights me until I end up giving up & then he immediately wees on the floor - so he obviously did need to go, he just refuses to.

    I can't take him out of the house in undies because he refuses to go to the potty/toilet

    But if he wears a nappy then changing it is a NIGHTMARE. It seriously took me forever the other day, I ended up having to restrain him. So he obviously doesn't want to wear nappies anymore.

    He wears undies all day with the grandparents

    Argh!!!! What am i doing wrong?

    How can I get him to go to the potty/toilet at home? He's exceptionally strong willed.

    So far I've tried a reward chart with stickers, stamps on his hand, lots of praise.

    We don't do phones or tablets & we also choose not to do food rewards/bribes.

  2. #2
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    How's his communication; can you ask him why?

    Have you looked at all the details of how things are done at daycare & the grandparents'? What the setup's like, how they talk to him, whether they ask/have set times/he goes when needed, who goes with him, etc.?

  3. #3
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    I have asked why, he either can't or won't tell me. He has a good vocab though

    Things at the grandparents are basically done the same as at home

    At daycare I think all the kids get taken to the toilet one after the other. We can't really replicate that at home though as we don't really know many other kids

  4. #4
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    Sorry I can't help with the situation at home but we have just started to put our 2 1/2 yr old in pull ups when out & take him to the toilet as soon as we get anywhere it is easier to take him toilet at he is staying dry most of the time.

  5. #5
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    My DS is the same age and we have had phases of this happening too. I just try to go with the flow and clean up without making a fuss. So I would offer toilet/ potty, but don't pressure if he says no. If he does a wee, then just clean up and carry on as normal. He will get there eventually, but you need to be careful not to make it a fight as this will just make it take longer.
    With the going out thing, I will often ask DS if he wants to go out and do whatever, and then when he gets excited about it I tell him he needs to try to do a wee before we go.

  6. #6
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    Anyone have any recommendations of good reputable resources which show that if we are having to force & bribe him to go to the potty then he's not ready?

    He just refuses to go, so I've put him back into nappies during the week because I figured he's not ready.

    All weekend though, DH is INSISTING that he wear undies because he's adamant that he's ready but is just refusing to cooperate. So he's fighting the massive battles, or he's going & doing something else & leaving me to fight it.

    I don't think that's the best way & I also want us to be consistent.

    However DH is literally the most stubborn person in the history of mankind. If he gets an idea in his head he will stick to it until the end of time. So I have no idea how to convince him that DS isn't ready yet. But some reputable resources might help.

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    If he goes at Daycare/grandparents I would say he is ready.

    I had the same type of issue with Dd, she was fine at daycare but would keep having accidents at home and out at the shops until I stopped buying nappies. As soon as I did that she fully toilet trained in a couple of days.

    I used to stress quite a bit about her having accidents in public and I am not usually one to worry. I gave MYSELF a pep talk and told myself this is part of mum life and I need to stop resisting the change, I made sure to pack lots of spare undies/shorts in my bag with a plastic bag and if she had an accident, it was simple to change her pants and continue on with whatever we were doing.

    It took me months of trying when I used nappies and undies, but only a few days when I got rid of the nappies all together, I think it was confusing her.

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    Sometimes I think it isn't so much whether or not the child is ready, bt whether the parent is ready/ at a place where they are able to commit to TT hrough the difficulties. It's an individual choice based on your own parenting and what you feel up to. Personally, it sounds to me like he is ready and more than able to use the toilet - but he is giving you a battle - and it's up to you if you want to persist or not. My oldest 2 were both TT by 2yo, & then had a regression when they lost interest. I could choose to either give up and go back to nappies, or persevere through it. I chose to persevere, & they were again fully trained & accident free by about 2.5. I could have put them back in nappies for a year but I wanted to keep going wih it. My 3rd is already 2 & is able and willing to use the potty - but I am due any day with baby #4, so I feel like I am not ready to make the commitment to training her. I'll wait until this baby is a few months old at least. The problem is you and DH are not on the same page, & if you are the one having to fight the battle, & look after DS through the day, you are the one who has to make the decision. It's not fair for him to be making the choice for you.

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  11. #9
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    I agree that everyone in the home needs to be on the same page.
    If he's trained at those other places then that's great, let him be. If he's giving you a hard time at home it's a power struggle I think. I would be willing to give it a few months of doing it your way and leaving him in the nappies at home with you. I think he will soon get tired of the nappies and when he sees this is no longer a game with you he will just do it.

    I feel like your husband should be supporting you.
    Maybe he could learn to compromise a bit and if you say give it two or three months doing it your way?
    You know that 2.5 years is still earlyish for kids to toilet train.
    Mine have all been "late" but when they trained it only took a month to be completely done day and night.

  12. #10
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    Mine is exactly the same -
    I usually ask little miss. 'why don't you need to go to the toilet honey?' She usually replies back 'I don't want to'. Then take a look at her lower stomach and see there is a little bulge there and I say to her. 'Well mums going to the toilet, are you coming with me?' She races me and ends up going first while I'm standing there with my legs crossed trying not to wet myself lol.

    Making it fun, 'usually' helps. But that's my experience with my little miss.


 

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