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  1. #1
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    Default How to have my own life with no back up?

    Having kids with no family around has always been a struggle for me. Didn't get back into work as only option would've been full time daycare to just work part time. Not that I could find a job. Now I'm trying to figure out what to study it's the same thing. There's always some element of face to face learning or work experience even with fully online courses. My youngest of 3 doesn't start school for 3 years. They could probably do oosh then but still so far away. I don't want to wish away these last few years either but I've been out of the workforce for 10 years! Argh it's just depressing. I'm so busy with them I can't even fit in 1 yoga class a week. How do people do it??

  2. #2
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    Default How to have my own life with no back up?

    I have 4 young kids, 2 at school and 2 at home full time (one I homeschool preschool, the other is younger). I have just started a Diploma full time. I have no idea what I'm going to do during placements or clinical hours, as we don't have day care here (hence the homeschooling for preschool) and I do have a husband but he is doing the same course as me so will be away at the same times. I think we are just going to take our kids with us when we go to do placements and find a sitter of some kind there, as it's interstate. I don't have any family and my MIL lives 10 hours away so I understand it being hard. I just figured it's better to try and have it not work, rather than not try at all. I study late at night once the kids are in bed, if I can (they are horrible sleepers) and get a quick few words in while we are eating lunch etc.

    ETA I don't get gym time or dinners out or anything. Husband and I don't have dates and I don't go out with friends. That doesn't fit into my schedule at all.
    Last edited by Ahalfdozen; 21-02-2017 at 19:16.

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  4. #3
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    It's incredibly hard and extremely frustrating. We have 3 kids and i work part time, we use childcare and osh care and have a couple of babysitters. Obviously we then have to pay for care but its the only options available to us for work, social occasions or to get a break. I had to leave the gym this morning as DS2 18mths cracked it and wouldnt settle. Ive confirmed with DH he'll be home from work by 7pm for me to go back to gym tonight

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    Default How to have my own life with no back up?

    Well I have no family close by and my husband is from oversea so we have very limited support. We just have to get by on our own. My husband works very long hours. At the moment he leaves home at 5am and isn't home until 5pm at the earliest plus he works most Saturdays until 12 or 1. I work 3 days week Mon-Wed but I can be home by 4 if I need and bring work home. I have an 8, 6, 4 year old. My kids have been in daycare 2 or 3 days week since they were 6 months old. Because of my husband's hours, I have to do almost everything and I have to make the time for exercise if that's my priority. This means I'm up at 5:15 on the days I work making my kids' lunches, preparing things I need for work, hanging out washing if it needs doing. His hours also mean that I am responsible for taking our girls (8 and 4) to their dancing classes on Monday afternoons/evenings. On Tuesdays and Thursdays my son has just started footy training again. My 4 year old has swimming lessons on a Friday morning then we go to the gym. I walk my 40kg dog Sun-Thurs with a friend of mine at 8:30pm. I go to the gym Saturday mornings then my girls do more dancing lessons. Soon my son will start footy on Saturday mornings. I do groceries on a Saturday night or Sunday ready for my working week. We pay for babysitters or we go out with our own friends and the other stays home. I'm going up to the Sunshine Coast for a girls weekend away next month for my friend's 40th.

    What does a usual day entail for you? If you find it hard to get into a routine then write one up and stick to it or make a list of what you need to do each day.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 21-02-2017 at 20:22.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Well I have no family close by and my husband is from oversea so we have very limited support. We just have to get by on our own. My husband works very long hours. At the moment he leaves home at 5am and isn't home until 5pm at the earliest plus he works most Saturdays until 12 or 1. I work 3 days week Mon-Wed but I can be home by 4 if I need and bring work home. I have an 8, 6, 4 year old. My kids have been in daycare 2 or 3 days week since they were 6 months old. Because of my husband's hours, I have to do almost everything and I have to make the time for exercise if that's my priority. This means I'm up at 5:15 on the days I work making my kids' lunches, preparing things I need for work, hanging out washing if it needs doing. His hours also mean that I am responsible for taking our girls (8 and 4) to their dancing classes on Monday afternoons/evenings. On Tuesdays and Thursdays my son has just started footy training again. My 4 year old has swimming lessons on a Friday morning then we go to the gym. I walk my 40kg dog Sun-Thurs with a friend of mine at 8:30pm. I go to the gym Saturday mornings then my girls do more dancing lessons. Soon my son will start footy on Saturday mornings. I do groceries on a Saturday night or Sunday ready for my working week. We pay for babysitters or we go out with our own friends and the other stays home. I'm going up to the Sunshine Coast for a girls weekend away next month for my friend's 40th.

    What does a usual day entail for you? If you find it hard to get into a routine then write one up and stick to it or make a list of what you need to do each day.
    Great idea with the routine. I bought a whiteboard last week and using permanent marker sectioned it and labelled it with days of the week and then plotted mine and kids work, sports, social things and DHs social things and extras. Has helped me find gaps to get to the gym and prepare the house/washing for upcoming busy periods.
    Also make dinners simple ie prepare in advance, cook quickly

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    For me it's working out things I can make fit, I got rejected for uni for mid year intake this year and for me that would have been huge if I had been accepted, I am still at Tafe, so maybe I can complete my diploma there but childcare costs are busting my balls badly even with govt help.

    When I am not doing tafe, I take the boy with me everywhere, one of the places I go every day is down to the beach I try and give him something to do while I draw for an hour and for me that's my Yoga, I have to put down my drawing every 5 minutes to attend to him, but that's the life I have so I just make the best of it.

    I haven't been doing this for 10 years, but I try and make the best of it I can at times I don't cope very well but just even trying to keep up some of the things you love helps even if you can only have 5 minutes uninterrupted.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPopsicle View Post
    Great idea with the routine. I bought a whiteboard last week and using permanent marker sectioned it and labelled it with days of the week and then plotted mine and kids work, sports, social things and DHs social things and extras. Has helped me find gaps to get to the gym and prepare the house/washing for upcoming busy periods.
    Also make dinners simple ie prepare in advance, cook quickly
    Yes and meal plan if you are the kind who is still thinking what to cook for dinner at 4pm. Slow cookers are awesome.

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    I know this sounds like the most wanky, irritating advice - but you need to MAKE time for you.

    I started yoga again last year after stopping when my 1st child was little (you know, when the whole 'you' comes last part of life begins). It was a big step for me. I think on some level I'd been putting it off but when a class started literally around the corner, I couldn't keep making excuses - I had to squeeze it in!

    I ended up not clicking with that teacher, but it made me realise how much I need yoga, so I now travel 20 min for a 7.30pm class that I don't get home from until 9.30 (working full time again this year) to then eat dinner and clean up. It's a PITA on some levels but it is just so frocking worth it!

    DH now gets shirty if he thinks I'm making excuses not to go as he can see how much it helps keep me sane as well. We don't have family close enough to help with the kids for things like this (can help with a night out etc though) plus we already have DS in full time daycare and DD in OSHC. So a late night class is really the only option for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    I know this sounds like the most wanky, irritating advice - but you need to MAKE time for you.
    As annoying as it sounds, this is true. It just has to become a priority, like having a shower and eating dinner are.

  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    As annoying as it sounds, this is true. It just has to become a priority, like having a shower and eating dinner are.
    Ha ha showers have become optional 😂 I think it's just that there are so many things that I need to catch up on - exercise, research jobs/ study, rare health condition that doctors know nothing about, and reconnect with friends that I've missed out on seeing. Ms2 doesn't nap consistently, gets to sleep between 8 and 9, comes into our bed during night so early morning or evenings are essentially no go areas. Only time I have is her 1 Day at daycare that she hates. I think what's really frustrating is spending those days focused on trying to find a new direction and hitting road blocks so I feel like my life is this ticking clock I keep wasting time cus my head has not stopped spinning since surprise number 3 came along. Just little things like thinking maybe I'll just train as a volunteer breastfeeding counsellor til she's at school but even that requires attending meetings and face to face training. Argh!!!!


 

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