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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling like I'll never become a mother

    I have a feeling that I am never going to be a Mum. I don't know why I just don't think it will happen. I've been thinking about it a lot. I do want it to happen have you ever thought that it wouldn't or is that just me?
    We have be ttc since Jan 16 with one MC.

  2. #2
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    Yep, I felt that way. In my younger years I thought I might have a baby one day, but as I went through my 20's and 30's as a single person I began to realise it just wasn't on the cards for me.

    I met my DH and we married when I was 39. He'd had a vasectomy so we knew straight away - no kids for us.

    And yet here I sit. 42 years old, and 20 weeks pregnant. And I still can't believe one day I will hold my own baby in my arms.

    Life is full of surprises. Sometimes you just never know what might be around the corner. And I must say, I have loved every minute of telling my extended family - who asked for years "When are you going to have a baby?" and then finally gave up - that I am expecting my first!

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  4. #3
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    That is amazing! I am so happy for you. I just feel like I've been trying not to fall pregnant for so long and now I want to be pregnant it's not happening.

  5. #4
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    Oh, I hear ya! All through my single years I was soooo careful not to fall pregnant. Then when I got married to DH I thought it was never going to happen, especially after a vasectomy! But IVF made our dreams a reality so we were very lucky.

    May I ask how old you are? If you're in your mid to late 30's (or older) I'd be suggesting you speak to a FS and get some investigations done. I believe a year is long enough to be trying...

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  7. #5
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    I agree with @blossum74, time to get checked out.

    i definitely thought it would never happen and was told by a couple of dr's to give up. We kept trying and got there in the end.

    good luck!

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  9. #6
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    I'm 28 years old. I have been diagnosed with PCOS. And having more tests soon. I just have a terrible feeling that I won't be a Mum.

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  11. #7
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    Jackie2 I was exactly like you, I found out I had pcos around 16 and then was offered no support or information on anything so life plodded along, I had a few steady parters and we were cvery irresponsible and still no pregnancy so I just assumed it would never happen, my Husband and I we unprotected for like 5-6 years before we went to FS and we were young and having fun and plenty of BDing and still no BFP.

    So off to FS I went and a few short months later before hubby had even been tested, I was pregnant. Sadly at 11 weeks lost baby, missed miscarriage and then a DNC. That was Nov 2011.

    Then I had a few months off and FS had holidays so Mid Jan we started again, I fell pregnant at the end of February 2012, my 4 year is now sleeping between hubby and myself. I was 28 when this happened. Also at this point my weight was never a concern, now it's bad which is why last year I started on metformin as I saw no end to the weight gain despite only positive healthy lifestyle changes.

    It's totally amazing too as I am pregnant now and due around 20-26th Oct and just need to confirm the date with dr but this time all natural and I am on 2000mg of metformin), I just knew I was ovulating due to learning about CM, also strangely I had a real aversion to meat and everything smelt awful and I had back acne when I ovulated which I had bad in pregnancy with my son.

    So please keep the hope and think as positive as you can. PCOS is not all bad (even if I wish no one had it) there are people who have it worse and PCOS generally reponds well to some treatments, weight loss, metformin and others, just gotta find what works for you!! Positivity is really important, I said you'd have at least 7-10 years before you should panic but I totally understand how hard it is to train those inner thoughts. I certainly try to replace a negative one with something positive or distracting, like if you think what if I never have a baby you tell yourself a baby would bring such joy and I am hopeful one day it will happen or if you fall and have thoughts like me it's early days what if this baby doesn't stick, I say to myself, there is no current cause for concern and I know what to do if anything happens but like is beautiful and powerful and I can do this!

    I hope you can turn around your thoughts into wonderful ones and reduce your stress and I absolutely wish you all the best and hope it happens soon for you xo

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  13. #8
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    @jackie2 hugs. 12 months is a long time i feel your pain. DS1 was 18months ttc and DS2 was nearly 4 years of ttc natural and ivf. Fs kept saying nothing wrong so we changed fs I had a Lapo which I was demanding with old fs new one gave me one straight away. Boom
    Stage 3 endo a fibroid tumour. Pregnant 5 months later natural. A friend had the same issues as me but her original fs said she had pcos when she didn't

    So what ever you do get yourself checked out. I'd say a Lapo get your dp sperm tested if you haven't already which you can do with a fs or a gyno

    Good luck

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  15. #9
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    Jackie I understand and I empathise. I often feel the same way. It's so hard for our minds not to sway that way. I am 34 and we have now been trying for 6 months. I don't have pcos but we are yet to fall P. Hubby is going to get himself checked out and we will begin the process of finding a FS if we aren't successful this month. We have to encourage each other not to lose hope. You still have your age on your side, I am 35 in July. There are still so many options and windows to check before you can rule anything out completely. Try not to lose hope. What do you do to track your cycle and O patterns?

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  17. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by jackie2 View Post
    I'm 28 years old. I have been diagnosed with PCOS. And having more tests soon. I just have a terrible feeling that I won't be a Mum.

    Well ... an interesting thing about PCOS.

    Due to my age (42) I ended up needing the help of an egg donor to have a baby. And you know what? My donor had PCOS! In fact, she has donated to several other women who have also had successful pregnancies following the generous donation of eggs.

    I know many, many egg donors and you'd be surprised how many donors do have PCOS. So I wouldn't necessarily rule out the potential to have a baby just because of that. Yes, there can be issues, but many of those can be overcome.

    What I would do - ASAP - is to go and see a fertility specialist. Often times, the right med combination and some IVF techniques will be very effective for PCOS ladies.

    Definitely don't give up hope yet hon

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