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    Default Any tips on where I'm going wrong?

    DS is 4.5 yo and struggling to potty train. We started at 2 yo but he wasn't ready each time, trying every few months. When it became obvious he is behind everyone else we went down the medical road.

    He has been attending a continence clinic and at this point they think it's just emotional immaturity or something, not too sure. But since he has had a few successes they are hopeful he will learn at home.

    he has little scheduled successes (we do timed toileting 3+ times a day) but he almost never has the initiative to go on his own. I've tried to praise him only and now we are down to taking things away when he chooses not to use the toilet. But it doesn't matter, he will just be standing there and let it all go. Its like he's not interested. And doesn't care that he's in wet or soiled underwear.

    its been at least a month of heavy toilet training, staying inside with underwear on. Still no better than when we started it this time around.

    we did sticker charts for a few months to earn a toy but that was becoming a routine of earning things, not focusing on toileting itself.

    All i read are stories of kids picking it up in a few few days or after they feel yucky wet undies on the skin. Even my niece who struggled was teasing him.

    what else can I do? Is it time just to accept that he's not ready yet again?

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    Default Any tips on where I'm going wrong?

    Sorry your DS is struggling with this. A few qu's for you..
    1. Is he behind in any other milestone? Speech etc ?
    2. Is he going to school next year ?
    3. Have you watched videos and read books with him on toilet training?
    Last edited by bel2466; 12-02-2017 at 17:55.

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    Thanks for the response.. he does start school next year (Feb 2018), he was behind in speech but caught up.. no other missed milestones. I won't be surprised if he is labelled hyperactive as he gets older, I just know that 4 is a bit early to label since he could grow out of it. Sometimes it feels like it's his attention span and involvement in what he's doing that stops him, not sure. I've watched videos and we have a handful of potty books we read.

    his preschool has started doing the timed toileting at the request of his doctor. So now I can be sure he's making an attempt while in a bathroom with his friends.

  5. #4
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    matalee is offline The greater the fight, the greater the victory
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    Default Any tips on where I'm going wrong?

    We struggled with DS & toilet training too. We started at 2 1/2 years old & he's just turned 4 1/2 years old & seems to have only got it in the last week.

    I did timed toileting, too. I would set a timer on my phone every three hours & when it went off he had to 'stop, drop (the activity he was doing), and pee'. I made it a game that we had to race to the toilet as quick as we could. That worked but I had to be consistent for about a month before I stopped doing it. He refused to poo in the toilet until he was 3 1/2 & would wait until he was absolutely busting before he would use the toilet which meant LOTS of accidents. I tried to not get angry whenever he had accidents but made him 'responsible' for them (helping me clean up, take clothes to the laundry etc).

    We would reward him for going, like you've done, but that didn't work. The only thing that has helped is if he has an accident it means no more tv for the rest of the day. We made it clear that we weren't mad at him but there was a consequence for having an accident & no tv was the consequence. I think him finally getting the whole toilet training thing was a little of both coincidence & timing (he started preschool & saw the other kids going).

    For two years we'd tried the gentle approach to toilet training but I think it was time to get a little firmer in our approach - hence the 'no tv' rule. I had talked to his health nurse & his paediatrician & they both said that he's fine but 'too busy' to be bothered going.

    I'm still not confident enough to say that he's finally, completely toilet trained but this is the longest stretch we've gone without accidents.
    Last edited by matalee; 13-02-2017 at 11:47.


 

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