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  1. #1
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    Default When to try again?

    Hello!
    I'm very sorry if this is the wrong section to be posting this in, I'm new here and not 100% sure what is correct.

    My partner and I are 20 years old, both 21 this year. About a month ago, we miscarried at 10 weeks. The pregnancy was not planned in any way and a huge shock. We both (after the initial horror/what are we going to do/how can we be parents) were very excited for the baby, and absolutely devastated when we lost it.

    We are now considering actively trying for a baby. Is this the right thing to do? We know only we can make the decision in the end, however I just need some advice. We are young, but have a very stable relationship, live independently and have jobs that could support a growing family. I think we realised after our loss that we are ready to be parents.

    Are we too young? Are we making a rash decision?

  2. #2
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    If all of the above is true then you are not too young.
    If you really feel you are ready to commit to being parents then you are not too young.
    I was a young mum. I was 19 when my first was born. It threw me in the deep end but I wouldn't change it.
    Think it over but don't analyse it too much. No one is ever emotionally perfectly ready to be a parent.
    Having a child is a big deal but I don't think there are age restrictions on being a good parent.
    Several of my friends and people I know were also young mums, having kids at your age and younger.
    All are very happy with the choice they made.
    Best of luck to you! There are lots of great things about being young parents. And remember that your great grandparents were likely married young and had children young. Waiting until your 30s is a fairly recent thing

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  4. #3
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    Hi
    Some people are ready at 20, others are not. Its a decision only you can make.
    Personally.. i would wait 3-6 months to see if i still feel the same about having a baby.
    It wont make much of a difference to you as you are so young but it may give you extra time to make an informed decision. In this instance time is on your side due to being so young.

    I say this because i have friends who have gone through similar and were older then you. They wanted. Tried. Then 3-6 months down the road she freaked out and backed out of it. She realised she wanted to travel, take up classes and do a few more things that are challenging to do with a new baby.

  5. #4
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    When it comes to concerns over rash decisions the best thing to do is wait a couple of months (i vote for 6) and if you still want one badly go for it. Time will be a tool to ensure the decision isnt a rash one.

    Think about how a baby will change your life. Its a beautiful change but it is a change. You have to be ready to accept this forever change

  6. #5
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    Sorry to hear about your loss I think if you and your partner are ready, after giving yourself some time to get over the loss of your baby then start trying. I know after some of my early losses I was fine to start trying immediately but after my missed miscarriage late last year, I need more time. Think I may be nearly ready.


 

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