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  1. #1
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    Default Experienced school parents share your knowledge

    So we have a nice little thread going about first time school starters, which has been wonderful to participate in, but I wanted to expand on that and start a thread where everyone can discuss school stuff.

    After this first week, I've really had my eyes opened to what school life is really going to be like and I have so many questions about what within the realms of normal for kids at school, so thought parents with kids already at school can share their wisdom with us newbie school mum's.

    So I have the first question, how do kids navigate friendships in their first year? What's 'normal' do kids form friendships that last all year, do they play with different kids all the time, do they play with older kids?

    DD is always trying to make friends with year 5,6,7 students and I'm concerned she will miss out on making true friends as the older kids won't play with her forever and I don't want the other kids her age to form friendships with each other and she ends up being left out. Is it just my anxiety at play? Do I try and help her or let her work it all out for herself?

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  3. #2
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    DS1 is in grade 4 now and he was the same in reception. Then I found out that the older kids where actually his assigned buddy's/piers to look up to and be tbere for them when they needed something as yard duty teachers are few and far between. He still plays with kids older then him now on occasions generally the grade 5 though. As for kids his own age he went to kindy with most of them bar a couple. His bestie moved to our school in grade 1 and another bestie he met when he was 2 in childcare.

    He associates with 3 main people but they expand off to diff sporting activities st recess and lunch.

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  5. #3
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    DS is in first class and all the boys in his class get on, I think it helps that kindy and Year 1 have their own playground so separate from the bigger boys which helped them get to know each other , I've noticed DS has two or three boys he seems to hang out more with which happened towards the end of the year, otherwise I've noticed they all just seem to play together ( he's at an all boys school so recess and lunch is usually either playing on the equipment or playing some kind of ball sports like soccer, basketball or rugby)

    I'm pretty involved with the school and was class parent last year and this year so I organised a few class ( and parent!) play dates which I think is really important not just for the kids but you get to know the other parents , you can't force friendships as the kids will naturally do that but by encouraging group play dates they get used to socialising with all the class ( I've been told by mums with older kids by about 3rd class they seem to form a closer , smaller group )

    In kindy anyone that had a party invited the whole class (19) which was really great for the kids and parents to get to know one another outside school

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    Dd is in grade 2 and I found when she started prep they were still dealing with a range of emotions.
    Learning to take it in turns what game to play at lunch was a big one and adjusting to new friend groups.
    Prep were teamed up with a year 6 buddy which dd loved her first year.

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    My kids go to after school care so they know a lot of the kids from there who aren't in their year. My daughter (just started year 3) doesn't have a best friend but lots and lots of friends. She plays with her class friends but also some of the younger girls too. My son pays soccer and handball with boys of all ages and the big boys from after school care look after him on the playground which is lovely.

    My son is in the same class as most of his friends from last year plus a few from after school care so he's happy.

    My daughter has a lot of friends in her class from last year as well but if she wasn't, she knows a lot of the other kids and would make new friends.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Poppy View Post
    Dd is in grade 2 and I found when she started prep they were still dealing with a range of emotions.
    Learning to take it in turns what game to play at lunch was a big one and adjusting to new friend groups.
    Prep were teamed up with a year 6 buddy which dd loved her first year.
    Do the younger kids play with their buddies all through the year? Or is it more like an intro at the start of the year so the younger kids have a familiar face in the yard? DD met her buddy on Thursday, but said she couldn't remember her name.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Do the younger kids play with their buddies all through the year? Or is it more like an intro at the start of the year so the younger kids have a familiar face in the yard? DD met her buddy on Thursday, but said she couldn't remember her name.
    For first term they did activities then it was more of when dd saw her around the school she would say hi and have a quick chat.
    Took dd to remember her buddy name also

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  13. #8
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    The big kids will brush the little kids off (gently) after the novelty of the cute kindy kid wears off. At our primary school the buddies only help for three weeks so the kindy kids don't get really attached. We have separate playgrounds for infants and primary, too. I would encourage your DD to make friends with people her own age, and if she really clings to the older kids and ignores the kindy kids as a result talk to your teacher. I wouldn't worry about it at this stage, though.

    IME kids play primarily with who is in their class until about year 4 when they get some stronger friendship bases and the friendships can withstand being in different classes.

    IME year 2 is the hardest year in terms of playground politics, especially for girls. That's when I've noticed the 'I'm playing with her so you can't' stuff really starts. Thankfully it all settles down again in year 3. I was told this by other parents from other schools, too...so it might not be everyone's experience of year 2, but it is obviously common enough. Best advice I can give there is to keep communicating with your teacher.

    Your kid may be completely exhausted for the first term, or the whole year. We had some quiet weekends in the beginning whilst our kids adjusted. Teachers at our school recommend none or very minimal after school activities in the first term. My kids were tired, but others were so exhausted they'd have the odd day off here and there so they could rest and recover. The teachers at our school were really supportive of this for those few kids who just weren't coping.

    Once kids start school they seem to grow up overnight. It's amazing. They really develop as an individual in so many different ways through school.
    Last edited by Full House; 04-02-2017 at 06:28.

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    DD is just about to start kindy and knows one girl in her class who at the moment is her 'best friend'! But at the pre kindy and orientation sessions she played with all the kids equally - although this girl was still her 'best friend'. I'm friends with her mum so they see each other a lot out of class. At daycare she was the same - one girl was her 'best friend' but she played equally with the others. She already experienced a bit of the "you're not allowed to play with us" and the "you're not my best friend today!" It's a tough world out there!

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    DD9 in prep played mostly with people in her class. She did hang around older kids for a while (boys), but I put a stop to that as they were buying her things at tuck shop.

    DD12 was in year 6 and was a buddy, she talked about playing with her buddy off and on although the year. Sometimes her buddy would come up to her upset in the playground so she would go help her out. But it wasn't all the time.

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