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  1. #1
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    Default When is too soon to move in?

    ...thanks so much for responding
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 03-02-2017 at 20:57. Reason: Personal

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    I think you are wise to be considering this now, even though it will be april, before anything changes. Would it be wise to mention to the `14yr old that you are thinking along these lines, and just sort of gauge the response. ?? I am in favour of consultation, and moving slowly with these changes. Good luck, marie.

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    Default When is too soon to move in?

    ....
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 03-02-2017 at 20:55. Reason: :)

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    Hi. I have zilch experience but the way I see it is if you are happy together and adore each other it will happen at one time or another - lease renewal is one of those times I think you can 'jump in'.

    Regarding his children - the 14yo will be hard to deal with whether you are there full time or not. I think maybe if you are both on the same page with parenting/dealing with the kids and have strategies for any 'fallout' then go for it.

    The teenager will probably not get any easier whether it be now or later. But consistency may help.

    Good luck. And congrats. Oh and maybe talking to them sooner rather than later may work out better in the end.

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    I think 12+ months is a fair amount of time to move in together, especially if he is spending a lot of time at your place already.

    Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him? If the answer is no or you are unsure, it may not be the time yet. It's not only a big commitment between you two, there are kids involved.

    Good luck I'm glad you've found love

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    Default When is too soon to move in?

    ...
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 03-02-2017 at 20:56.

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    I think when you're older and had a few previous relationships, you just know it's the right person/time, etc.
    I was 29 when I met my husband and we just knew. I don't know if finances is the right reason to move in.

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    Default When is too soon to move in?

    ....
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 03-02-2017 at 20:56.

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    I don't have kids so I can't talk about that aspect from a personal experience, but DH and I had known each other for about 11 years when we started dating. He moved in with me and my housemate about 6 months later. I think because we already knew each other so well, it didn't feel like a massive leap to move in together more of the natural progression of the relationship. Even my housemate at the time said that she fully expected him to move in before too long. Most people who met us as a couple in the early days were surprised to find out that we hadn't been together long because we were so happy and comfortable together, so I think the friendship you and your DP had before your present relationship is a good thing as you're obviously in a good place and you pretty much live together 50% of the time anyway.

    In regards to the kids, as I said above no personal experience, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I would be looking at finding a new place together rather than him moving in to yours or you moving to his. You want all of the kids to feel like it is their home too. If the kids currently don't mix a lot, it may be difficult to expect them get along when they're in someone else's "territory". I think too it might signify that your relationship is a serious one in that you are actively setting up a family home together. I know I would have hated it if I was uprooted from my comfort zone to live in someone else's house with them. If you start fresh they can help you look for a place, have a say in where they live etc which may make the transition easier. Just my thoughts.

    Good luck though, sounds like you're very happy and settled with your man. Hopefully the kids settle in and can all be happy for you both.

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    I've not been in this situation but DH moved in together after nearly 12 months. I've not regretted the decision once.
    I think others are right - when you know you know. And you've known this guy for a long time.
    It's hard blending families from what I can see of others experiences.
    But I think if there is open communication (with kids and each other) this will help. You may not get consensus from the kids, but if you can at least get commitment to try, that's the main thing.
    Good luck and best wishes!

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