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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    That's completely different. If your child is Failure to thrive then you need to see a paediatrician to find out the underlying cause and not give it a biscuit. They actually say not to fill your child up with empty calories like that so they can actually be hungry enough to eat a proper meal
    Fussy is completely different from failure to thrive
    My child isn't FTT or anything else that may impact eating (that we know of), yet the paediatrician reassured us that any food is better than nothing, and to just keep offering a variety of new or previously rejected foods.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    If I'm correct Hopeful, your child is still a baby so not reliant on solid meals as their only nutrition? I think once you experience a toddler that won't eat you will probably change your tune. I wouldn't label ds1 as a fussy eater but he goes through fussy phases and it's hard not to get stressed out about it and just do what will work, so I can't imagine what it is like for a parent that deals with that constantly. Also, add a new baby into the mix and there are days you just do what works because you are too tired and busy to constantly argue and negotiate.
    Not the only kid in our household so yes I've had experience with older kids.

    I just don't think it's a matter of full tummy no worries. Young kids can't process the amount of fat/salt/ sugar in chips and junk etc day in day out

  4. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    Not the only kid in our household so yes I've had experience with older kids.

    I just don't think it's a matter of full tummy no worries. Young kids can't process the amount of fat/salt/ sugar in chips and junk etc day in day out
    What's your alternative?

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  6. #84
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    Hopeful37...all of my children have been nightmares when it comes to food, all tiny little things who don't have any weight to lose, but I agree with you.
    None of my kids have sensory issues etc, just extreme fussiness and stubbornness. I am sure if I offered chips and nuggets they would have esten them, or biscuits etc. But I wasn't comfortable feeding my kids c.rap just to get them to eat. Everyone parents differently and makes different choices for their children that they are comfortable with...I'm not having a dig at anyone who chooses to go the chips and nuggets cause it's easier (and I am not talking about children with sensory issues as thst is a whole different ball game), but I went the opposite way and refused to allow my children any junk food at all when they were eating so poorly. I also sought professional help
    It was a long, tedious journey with all of them, but not once did the experts suggest I just feed them whatever just to get them to eat something. It's an unpopular opinion on bh (and most likely in society, too), but I do understand the point you are making, and I do think you can have a severely fussy eater and not resort to feeding whatever...but it takes a fair amount of mental strength and determination, and it's not easy watching your child go to bed night after night with no dinner...so I do understand why the thoughts of 'something is better than nothing' occurs. Plus, just the sheer desire to not have yet another day stressing over food.

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  8. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    That's completely different. If your child is Failure to thrive then you need to see a paediatrician to find out the underlying cause and not give it a biscuit. They actually say not to fill your child up with empty calories like that so they can actually be hungry enough to eat a proper meal
    Fussy is completely different from failure to thrive
    They can be one in the same. If a child is eating and feeding well and is failure to thrive then yes definitely see a paediatrician, but sometimes they are failure to thrive because they will not eat. They actually aren't completely different?

    DS was FTT because he would not take a bottle inly breastmilk which wasn't enough. Saw a paed, tried to get food into him and no luck! He barely ate a thing. And I offered all matter of healthy foods. Paed would usually recommend adding lots of butter and cream and cheese to food to give them extra calories, but we couldn't with DS as he was cows milk protein intolerant.

    So now he is almost 2.5 and weight less than his 12 and 15 month old cousins.

    DD has multiple food allergies and now has a fear of trying new foods after years of 'no you can't eat that it will make you sick' she eats far too many sweet foods and not enough veggies or protein but we try daily to get her not to fear new foods, it's a daily battle.

    You said "They actually say not to fill your child up with empty calories like that so they can actually be hungry enough to eat a proper meal"

    You're simply spouting the general information out there about eating as applies to non-fussy children. You're commenting purely from that perspective, did you ever consider the two situations I just mentioned?

    I really do hate people going back over other Hubbers history, but seeing as I've asked twice and another poster has also asked, without reply about your experiences so far and I can see that your child is between 5 and 7ish months now? So still on mainly breast milk or formula? If that's the case, maybe bite your tongue for now as you never know what kind of water you may be faced with. It is down right awful having a child (or more - in my case 2) who don't eat. I'm in tears most days.

    Don't tar all children with the same brush based on 'guidelines' or things you may read, they're all different and sometimes, life isn't so black and white.

    I do really hope your child ends up being a good eater, I wouldn't wish the stress and anxiety of a fussy eater on anyone!

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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    What's your alternative?
    Getting children involved, cooking, growing veges, learning that they eat what the family eats not a different

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    Hopeful37; of course it's not ideal, but it genuinely is better than nothing.

    I do understand where you're coming from, and the approach you're talking abound exactly how I've approached food with my kids, but it's not that black and white. There are genuine reasons why people choose to give heir children the foods they do, and following an approach of "nothing else until the next meal" won't always help.

    Like many topics, I think that this is one where you either ought to listen with empathy and genuinely try to understand (rather than judge), or have been in the position of trying to feed a seriously fussy child to really understand.

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  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    Getting children involved, cooking, growing veges, learning that they eat what the family eats not a different
    He helps me cook and bake. He has pottered around in my IL's garden picking vegetables and fruit. Helping with the egg collections. We have always eaten together. We tried and continue to give everyone the same food and choice of food.

    We talk about food. Not negatively. It does not help.

    He would starve.

    As I have said multiple times he was not eating food when he was a baby. I have treated DD no differently to DS and she eats food.

    Again - what is the alternative?

    Was I to withold milk when he was a baby? And toddler? Or just wean from BF because that is what he wanted?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    Getting children involved, cooking, growing veges, learning that they eat what the family eats not a different
    Again, guidelines based on non-fussy kids. I tried ALL of these things. They say you have to offer foods up to 20 times before a child will eat it. I swear I've tried offering certain foods over 100 times and my kids don't try them. They wont even have them on a plate near them! Even if they do get involved with cooking and we offer them just what we eat, it can sometimes not work.

    My GP out my mind at ease telling me kids actually need very little to grow and thrive, and as long as they're eating a variety of foods, they will get the nutrition they need. I choose to listen to him and not pie in the sky guidelines.

    I aliken it to those pamphlets you get when pregnant about breast is best with a million for points about why it's best and why not to even try formula. As a new mum I read them before having DD and took it as gospel. BF didn't work for my first past 5 months and all I could think of was those pamphlets! That I was doing the wrong thing!

    Then at least with experience under my belt and having read numeracy stories in BH about breastfeeding not working out, when I saw the brochure when I was pregnant with DS, I threw it out and it made me angry for all of the new mum's who were reading that and gaining the same knowledge, who would go on and not be able to BF and feel like crap.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    Hopeful37; of course it's not ideal, but it genuinely is better than nothing.

    I do understand where you're coming from, and the approach you're talking abound exactly how I've approached food with my kids, but it's not that black and white. There are genuine reasons why people choose to give heir children the foods they do, and following an approach of "nothing else until the next meal" won't always help.

    Like many topics, I think that this is one where you either ought to listen with empathy and genuinely try to understand (rather than judge), or have been in the position of trying to feed a seriously fussy child to really understand.
    These are my thoughts as well. Personally, I am more like full house and hopeful when dealing with my children but that's because overall I know ds1 isn't really fussy and that there are ways to get him to try new things or finish his dinner that he 'doesn't like.' But this is because of circumstances and dynamics that are unique to us and I get that there are so many different factors at play. Yes there are people who feed their kids crap because they can't be bothered or just don't know any better, but there are often so many other reasons that usually play into it. It was also so much easier dealing with mealtimes before I had ds2 to worry about as well. Ds1 has a few months of getting away with murder in that regard and now we are coming out of the fog and reigning him back in.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 05-02-2017 at 22:06.

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