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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    I don't see the logic in this. As a parent I think it's our job to open up our kids horizons to different tastes etc. at that age how are they going to know what to choose? Pretty limited by their experiences I'd think.

    Of course if a child absolutely hates mushrooms I wouldn't be serving them up. But for children to hate and not eat ALL vegetables I think is a problem. Of course they would prefer biscuits but is that really in their best interests?
    I thought I made it clear I wasn't suggesting kids get extreme free reign but respecting autonomy and independence. So no I would never allow my daughter to just eat biscuits
    My dd (incidentally too young to understand the concept of choice) was (and is) fed a wide variety of foods from day one. She's at the milder end of fussy but it's 100% not because she hasn't been exposed to different foods as she's constantly exposed to everything but I don't expect her to like everything. I don't like everything. As an example she still won't eat bread at all but I still offer her toast and sandwiches a couple of times every single week in the hope she changes her mind. So no I'm not limiting her experiences I just think the 'get what you're given' philosophy is not something we apply to ourselves so why apply it to our kids?
    I'm pretty confident that all the parents of fussies on here have tried their absolute hardest and offered and keep offering all different foods so to imply that they are limiting their experiences/don't offer variety and that giving choices is the cause of fussiness is pretty hurtful to those parents. If you haven't dealt with a properly fussy eater you wouldn't understand how utterly frustrating it is.

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  3. #62
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    It would be so easy as the mother of a good eater to pat myself on the back and take credit for it. But as I said, my nephew was right next to her, given the exact same foods, and he would quite happily not eat for the rest of his life.

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  5. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    I don't see the logic in this. As a parent I think it's our job to open up our kids horizons to different tastes etc. at that age how are they going to know what to choose? Pretty limited by their experiences I'd think.

    Of course if a child absolutely hates mushrooms I wouldn't be serving them up. But for children to hate and not eat ALL vegetables I think is a problem. Of course they would prefer biscuits but is that really in their best interests?
    Children who are genuinely fussy are typically are smaller in stature and have small appetites. Starving them into submission will not work as they will never hit the point where they are "hungry" enough to eat something they don't want as they tend not to get hungry at all- just behaviour and sleep wise they deteriorate.

    My dd1 will not eat at all at childcare, the whole day. Doesn't bother her at all. And as she has weight/growth issues (again fussiness is a common trait) I need her to eat. Something.

    I used to think the same thing- my child will not eat sandwiches for dinner.
    Now I see it as a victory lol.

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  7. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I used to think the same thing- my child will not eat sandwiches for dinner.
    Now I see it as a victory lol.
    We have recently added pizza with sauce and cheese into food he will eat. And today he ate a vegemite scroll for the first time ever. We also added watermelon without seeds as a recent favourite this summer too. And *some* bliss balls.

    DD seems to be fine with food for now. She is only 10 months but actually eats food, watches us eat and just WANTS it.

    I am hoping she is not as fussy as DS.

    I will add that DD eating a variety of food makes no difference to DS and food.

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  9. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful37 View Post
    I don't see the logic in this. As a parent I think it's our job to open up our kids horizons to different tastes etc. at that age how are they going to know what to choose? Pretty limited by their experiences I'd think.

    Of course if a child absolutely hates mushrooms I wouldn't be serving them up. But for children to hate and not eat ALL vegetables I think is a problem. Of course they would prefer biscuits but is that really in their best interests?
    Simply not true Im afraid. I can see where you are coming from, and I agree not eating any vegetables is a problem. However in many cases an unsolvable problem. Your words can be very damaging. If you don't have fussy children? You just would never understand. Many of us struggle every day, every time food is offered (3-5 times maybe more) every.single.day! It's hard, it's tedious, it's stressful and not at all fun.

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  11. #66
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    Default Discuss: ‘Get off your phone!’ Texas day care’s sign goes viral

    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    I like to think of my dd as an independent person in her own right. Just because she is a toddler doesn't mean she is prohibited from making choices and not liking things. And just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I have the right (or desire) to force her to do certain things - like eat food she doesn't like.
    As an adult who doesn't really eat meat or mushrooms I'd be pretty upset if my DH forced me to eat a steak with mushroom sauce KNOWING I don't like it at all. But as an adult lucky me I get *choices*.
    So I am allowed to not like certain foods but because dd is a kid she must eat whatever she's given? Sorry I don't see the logic in that and I wonder why we expect behaviour from children that we would never expect from ourselves? Why do we treat children in a way we would never tolerate ourselves?
    I mean this within reason not taking it to the most extreme. And I don't think that giving kids *some* say in what they eat is extreme.
    I think the difference is that children will eat something one day and then not like it the next. I won't make my kids eat something they really don't like.

    My DD1 genuinely doesn't like steak, so I wouldn't make her eat it and if we are having that she eats a tin of tuna instead but if I make spaghetti which I know all my kids love and they refuse it then I will make them eat it or they go without.

    ETA - I did/do have a fussy eater (my eldest) and at 2 years of age her diet was awful. She would only eat sausages, nuggets, corn cobs, baked beans, scrambled eggs, spaghetti bolognese and that was what her dinners were limited to. Now at 8, she only eats limited veges (carrots, corn, cauliflower, cucumber unless other veges are hidden) and she only likes rockmelon, watermelon, apples, grapes, banana.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 05-02-2017 at 20:01.

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  13. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Many of us struggle every day, every time food is offered (3-5 times maybe more) every.single.day! It's hard, it's tedious, it's stressful and not at all fun.
    This! Feeding DD1 has been the most frustrating experience of my life. Before I had her I always assumed my kids would eat everything, how wrong I was.

    DD2 is the opposite of DD1 and eats everything happily and I finally understand that DD1's fussiness isn't my fault. It's just a part of who she is. I felt so guilty and like such a bad mother for so long thinking I had caused it and that I was failing as a mother.

    If you've never been through it you truly can't understand.

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  15. #68
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    @A-Squared, I'm finding your opinion on bringing baked goods/cake to preschool interesting. Not because I think it's wrong but because you have a child with a nut allergy and would possibly find other people's baked goods worrying. I'm very new to this whole packed lunch experience, ds1 does lunch club at his nursery school and the parents pack their lunch. His school is strictly nut free but we also got an email at the beginning of this term asking that we do not pack 'sweets.' It wasn't specific but personally doesn't bother me, but overall ds1 isn't a fussy eater.

    But, besides being told they were nut free a mum went on to tell me the other day how she was told off for packing a peanut butter sandwhich and how she couldn't believe it because she wrapped it up separately and put it in a separate container, she was sure she was very careful. She told me this after she discovered ds1 has an epipen for peanuts, and these are 2-4 year olds, so hardly responsible. Anyways...to me it just kind of highlights how some parents really can't be trusted, even when they are educated, well-off people with plenty of knowledge, resources, and options in their cupboards. I can imagine that some parents would send a cake thinking it was ok because it *only* has a few almonds. Obviously as our children get older they need to learn how to manage these situations themselves, but when they are in preschool/kindly/nursery school (2-5) years old, I think it's fine to have certain rules regarding their lunch boxes. And yes, I know nuts can be in packaged things as well , we're opening a can of worms!

    As far as the OP, the sign doesn't bother me, in fact since I've seen it on Facebook it has made me think about the situations in which I am on my phone when the boys are around.

  16. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    @A-Squared, I'm finding your opinion on bringing baked goods/cake to preschool interesting. Not because I think it's wrong but because you have a child with a nut allergy and would possibly find other people's baked goods worrying. I'm very new to this whole packed lunch experience, ds1 does lunch club at his nursery school and the parents pack their lunch. His school is strictly nut free but we also got an email at the beginning of this term asking that we do not pack 'sweets.' It wasn't specific but personally doesn't bother me, but overall ds1 isn't a fussy eater.

    But, besides being told they were nut free a mum went on to tell me the other day how she was told off for packing a peanut butter sandwhich and how she couldn't believe it because she wrapped it up separately and put it in a separate container, she was sure she was very careful. She told me this after she discovered ds1 has an epipen for peanuts, and these are 2-4 year olds, so hardly responsible. Anyways...to me it just kind of highlights how some parents really can't be trusted, even when they are educated, well-off people with plenty of knowledge, resources, and options in their cupboards. I can imagine that some parents would send a cake thinking it was ok because it *only* has a few almonds. Obviously as our children get older they need to learn how to manage these situations themselves, but when they are in preschool/kindly/nursery school (2-5) years old, I think it's fine to have certain rules regarding their lunch boxes. And yes, I know nuts can be in packaged things as well , we're opening a can of worms!

    As far as the OP, the sign doesn't bother me, in fact since I've seen it on Facebook it has made me think about the situations in which I am on my phone when the boys are around.
    I suppose I'm too trusting. I don't really mind what people bring as long as there are no nuts at all, so baked goods and museli bars are fine IMO if they're nut free.

    I definitely expect people not to bring peanut butter sandwiches or nut bars etc, but I'd trust that cakes would be but free. Maybe I'm being naive.

    But I cover myself by telling DD that under no circumstances should she ever try anyone's food. Kids can be cruel or just not understand what is in food, so I don't trust they'd know their food well enough (or care about her enough) to be truthful with DD about the ingredients.

    There are always going to be risks eg some people have no idea that macarons and friands are made with almond.

    All I can do is teach DD to be responsible about not accepting food and pray parents will do the right thing. As my allergist said, children dying from allergic reactions is so rare these days, if I thought about it too much I'd end up home schooling her out of fear, but I know that's very much overkill.

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  18. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Nomsie View Post
    No. LSE means low socio economic- people who usually were born into the cycle of poverty and raise their own children in that cycle, and the cycle of not knowing or doing better continues for generations.

    If you are homeschooling, I highly doubt you are LSE.
    Yeh I was being a bit sarcastic sorry. I know the type of people and it's a bit of a generalisation to think they feed their kids only junk food.
    Making a point that maybe kids taking that stuff won't eat other food and the parents know it. No matter what group of society they fall into.
    I actually thought it was a bit demeaning.


 

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