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  1. #1
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    Default telling your family about IVF

    Hi everyone!!

    Just wondering how everyone else tackles telling thier families about thier IVF journeys? Do you keep it to yourselves until you are successful or tell people from the beginning? We are 28 and 31, newly married 2 years this march and getting asked all the time about kids 😐 thanks in advance Gals xx

  2. #2
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    We have been married for 3 years and everyone kept asking us about kids so we told them. We've told pretty much everyone but I keep the details to just a few close people. I think it's nice to have that support apart from each other. It's awkward when other people get pregnant though because they are afraid to tell you and its really awkward. Just do what feels right. If you don't want to tell anyone just tell them that you are thinking about kids in the future.

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    I think it really depends on your family and your relationship with them. We were TTC for 3 years (with a few dramas in the middle to hold us up) before IVF, not once did our family ask us "when". Both our parents had difficulties so I think that helped. Although they both conceived naturally in the end with no issues. I think after our wedding our parents just assumed that we would start trying within a year or so.
    I told my family after around 12 months of TTC, which was a huge support. I'm really close with my mum and sisters. DH told his family when we started the testing prior to IVF that we were having issues. We both told our families as soon as it was confirmed we would need IVF. They were a massive support and I couldn't imagine not telling them and having their support. I don't think I could have gotten through it. We only told 1 close friend who had been through IVF before, no other friends were aware of it, but they all know now and we're very open about the process.
    Sorry about the long story but I think it really does just depend on your relationship with them.

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    @MrsBMum2be I've told my sister (in detail), aunt and grandmother (because I'm closer to them) but not my parents as yet. My parents know we've been trying for 18 months but they don't ask questions so it's easier to just carry on. I think if they asked now I would tell them. I think they are respecting my privacy but I'm aware that they might just feel awkward as well...
    As far as friends go I've had one close friend see me through the whole journey and I've got another one I've confided in slowly. And I've been fortunate to have a work buddy whose been thru IVF so when I've finished at an appoint I can debrief with her

    If I had my time over I think I would have kept it to ourselves for a little longer but on the other hand I don't get the awkward questions about 'when are you 2 having children?' And rather questions related to how I'm managing and where we are on our journey coz I know they really do care...

    I hope that helps k

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    Yep we told ours and they were wonderfully supportive, but it depends on the relationship you have with your family. If you don't think they will be supportive or helpful etc then you might want to tell some close friends instead who you know will be supportive

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    I'm not in that situation yet, but I wouldn't be able to tell my family. I don't have that sort of relationship with them, it was hard enough talking to my sister about the TWW things I'm going through. I have friends though that I'd probably tell, just not when it's successful as I would tell family that part first.

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    Hi Mrs M ...I told my parents and only a few close friends but found the friends tell their friends...etc...we were successful. Next time round just told 2 people but was specific and told them not to tell anyone.

    It's an emotional time and as long as you have 2 friends to talk to it should be enough...all th ed best on your journey.

    Butterfly
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    We didnt tell anyone about ivf. Everyone assumes they were both conceived naturally. My family would not of been of any help, and prob would of made the while situation more stressful.

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    Thanks heaps for all your input girls. We have told my mum and DHs dad but are thinking of just telling all our family in April so just trying to weigh up the options and outcomes. Guess if we do tell them all we would want to make sure we are supported when we need it but left alone at the same time if that makes sense? Xx

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    My advice would be to just strongly consider that once you tell you can't un-tell so make sure you are sure about telling! I told a few people about our ivf that I wished I hadn't for various reasons.


 

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