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  1. #1
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    Default DD being a bit mean

    My 5yo DD was a bit mean to her friend today. There were a few other kids that she wanted to play with, and she was telling her friend things like "you're not my best friend" and "you can't play with us". This sort of behaviour really bothers me, I always pull her up on it and tell her it's not ok to talk to people like that or treat people that way. If I catch her in the act I'll give her a time out.

    I'm worried she's going to be one of those mean girls - she's a gorgeous, loving kid most of the time but with friends she can behave badly sometimes.

    Has anyone had this with their kids? How did you address it and what worked best?

  2. #2
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    I get a lot of that in Kindergarten. Seems to be the age it starts. We talk about how words/actions are affecting the other person and ask how they would feel if that happened to them. The whole group is then asked what they would all play together that would include the excluded child.

    When I see this behaviour happening more than a one off we generally find a book about it and also do a role play, so the children can actually see (away from the situation) how upsetting being excluded can be.

    When I have children say to me, but I don't want to be her friend etc. I say that they don't have to be friends but they do need to treat everyone nicely like they would a friend.

    Good luck. Sorry I'm not more help.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mamasupial For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (27-01-2017),Cue  (27-01-2017),kylie764  (27-01-2017)

  4. #3
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    That's all good advice, thank you. I will keep talking to her about being aware of other people's feelings and point out examples/stories when I see them. Hopefully she doesn't keep doing this with friends.

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    Default DD being a bit mean

    I have some rules with my kids and one of them is "whenever someone asks to play the answer is always yes".
    We also periodically revisit the book "have you filled a bucket today?" as a reminder about how your words and actions affect others

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    Hi Cue, how are things going with your daughter ?

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    Thanks for checking in. We've had lots of chats about it, and I think DD understands what she did wrong. She has just started school so it has been a busy couple of weeks for her. We'll just have to keep an eye on it all.

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    While not acceptable, it is fairly normal for that age. They don't always fully comprehend what they are saying and that its hurtful.

    I try to talk to my DDs about what it might feel like if somebody said that to them, and what they can say instead that might be kinder, even if its just something like 'I really feel like playing by myself today, we can play together another time' if she doesn't want to play with somebody.

    I think we can teach them that you don't have to always play with everybody if you don't want to, but that its not OK to exclude people either.


 

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