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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    DH and I both agree that we want to be a healthy and active family. On the whole he's still adjusting to the whole idea of the world not revolving around him (together 11+ years and our eldest is 9... He's clearly a slow learner! ) like I said, he just doesn't 'get' it. It's not with ill intent that he fails to support my weight loss efforts in any practical way, just the same as he doesn't "see" the two baskets of folding on the couch.

    But he is slowly getting better all around - he sees/does the folding half the time now, and he's realising that me being active and eating healthy (as well as working, parenting, etc etc) will require some effort/sacrifice from him too. I'm slowly learning to be more clear, explicit and firm in defining what I need from him as well (which can be hard when you're not sure yourself what you need to lose weight!).

    I don't want to seem like I am making excuses, it IS unfair, but we're both working on it. My main point of sharing my side of this type of conversation was to emphasise that the conversation is just the very starting point, they will need to work together to figure out what works. However much tact is needed or she may be faced with a total shut down on the topic.
    Your husband seems to make his health a priority, 2 nights and all day sat on exercise. It's unfair that you wouldn't be given the same opportunity to be healthy. If he complains he never a see's you if you then exercise, can't he cut back one of his nights? If not does that mean you can't go out at all and exercise?

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post

    I don't want to seem like I am making excuses, it IS unfair, but we're both working on it. My main point of sharing my side of this type of conversation was to emphasise that the conversation is just the very starting point, they will need to work together to figure out what works. However much tact is needed or she may be faced with a total shut down on the topic.
    I think we have the same ideas, just tackling it from opposite ends I agree that the conversation is just the starting point, and that healthy active lifestyles take commitment from both people in the relationship. I was just trying to be careful with my wording because I've been accused of being shallow when I've tried to explain myself before online (sensitive subject combined with me not explaining myself very well).

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  4. #23
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    It could be that he's in denial. You could be diplomatic about it, but to be honest I think he needs to hear the cold, hard, truth.

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  6. #24
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    Interesting points from pps.
    I agree you need to mind his feelings because that's the right thing to do.
    There's a reason why he's doing this though, because it's a bad habit/addictive behaviour and we usually get into those because we are escaping something.
    So it would be important to address that and get his mental health healthy before worrying about his physical health and starting in on it imo. It will follow on if he realises why he's leaning on food for comfort.
    I know I do when I'm stressed. Luckily for me my genetics are the kind where I don't put on a lot of weight otherwise I would be in major trouble. Weight aside though all the sugar makes you even grumpier and affects you other ways.
    Hope you can find a way to get him happy again.

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  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdgirl View Post
    Interesting points from pps.

    There's a reason why he's doing this though, because it's a bad habit/addictive behaviour and we usually get into those because we are escaping something.
    .
    It's a very good point and the reason why so many overweight people never lose weight or lose the weight and put it back on again, they eat well and take up an exercise regime, but the real issues are never addressed and they inevitably put on weight again.


 

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