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  1. #1
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    Default Help me settle an argument with DH

    DH snores. Terribly. I mean, it's like trying to sleep next to a chainsaw. I'm 33 wks pregnant with my 4th child, and I've been up since 4am because his snoring is so loud and unbearable. I'm exhausted and just not coping at all with it.

    When this baby is born, it will sleep in a bassinet in our room for the early weeks/ months, but will need to go into the cot by around 6 months. This means my youngest DD will need to vacate her cot and sleep in her sisters room. I will need to buy a bunk bed for all the big kids to fit in their room (6yo will sleep on top bunk), but I havent bought it yet, because I dont really need the bunk bed until DD has to vacate her cot.

    Here's my problem... I told DH we should just buy a bunk bed now, so I can escape his snoring if I need to. I can climb up and sleep there in DD's room, he can snore away, and my reasoning was that we will need to buy a bunk bed anyway in around 6 months time. The bunk bed I like is on sale atm too, $100 off, score 😊

    DH thinks I'm being stupid and irrational and hormonal for wanting to buy a bunk bed now. I've told him I'm exhausted and struggling and need sleep desperately. He just doesnt get it at.all. He thinks his snoring isnt that bad (it is), I should just put up with it and have a nap in the day if Im tired (WTAF, I have a 2, 4 & 6 y.o - absolutely sero chance of getting a nap). He is refusing to help me go pick up a bunkbed - fine, whatever, I can get one and assemble it myself - but he said no.

    WDYT? Am I being irrational wanting to buy a bunk bed now, so I can get some much-needed sleep in my final weeks of pregnancy, when we will be buying one in a few months anyway? Or is he in the wrong? (Remember I'm pregnant and so so tired... please be nice 😁)

  2. #2
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    Not irrational. I would do it.

    As an aside had he been to the dr?

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  4. #3
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    Default Help me settle an argument with DH

    Absolutely you should buy that bed. Right now! As in today! We've always had a spare bed and it's so handy if one is sick or snoring or something. He's being super selfish no questions about it. Make a recording of the snoring and play it back to him. Maybe at full volume when he's trying to sleep and if it bothers him just tell him off for being stupid, irrational and hormonal.
    It's not like you're buying something you don't need as you will use the bed soon again anyway.
    Honestly I don't know how you put up with that and how you're able to sleep at all. I'd be so angry and the spare bed wouldn't even be up for discussion you need all the sleep you can get!
    ETA in the longer term he needs to do something about the snoring.

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  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Not irrational. I would do it.

    As an aside had he been to the dr?
    He has (I forced him to 😁). His snoring is mostly due to his weight

  7. #5
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    It makes sense to get the bed. For several reasons. You're buying it anyway. It's good for the kids to get used to seeing it so it won't be a change that the "baby caused". And for sleep.
    He's being a jerk. I second making a recording. I did it to my husband. I also take many photos of him sleeping in the middle of our bed so I can prove to him that's why I end up in the living room a lot

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  9. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    Absolutely you should buy that bed. Right now! As in today! We've always had a spare bed and it's so handy if one is sick or snoring or something. He's being super selfish no questions about it. Make a recording of the snoring and play it back to him. Maybe at full volume when he's trying to sleep and if it bothers him just tell him off for being stupid, irrational and hormonal.
    It's not like you're buying something you don't need as you will use the bed soon again anyway.
    Honestly I don't know how you put up with that and how you're able to sleep at all. I'd be so angry and the spare bed wouldn't even be up for discussion you need all the sleep you can get!
    ETA in the longer term he needs to do something about the snoring.
    All of this.

  10. #7
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    I can't understand what his problem is. You are getting organised, saving money and getting some much needed sleep before the newborn arrives.

    I would tell him that you are organising the bed to be delivered and assembled now as you can't take it. That's going to cost more money than if he just does it himself.

    Don't go and get it yourself though. You are 33 weeks pregnant! If he lets you do that and assemble it yourself he is a major a**hole. The snoring would be the least of my issues if he thought that was acceptable

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    Default Help me settle an argument with DH

    Tape his snoring and play it back to him and ask him if he still thinks you're being "irrational"!

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  13. #9
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    Not irrational at all. Except I would say your DH should be sleeping in the bunk bed not you!!!

    Sorry your dh is not listening to you.

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  15. #10
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    Thanks everyone, this is just what I needed to hear 😘😘 to make me feel better. He is being pretty mean about the whole thing - I think with his snoring he didn't get a great sleep either, and he is soooo grumpy if he's tired 😏 No sympathy from me at all.


 

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